"DAN SAID BOOB!!!" -Lauren, then she laughs hysterically
"Steen said ass" -Lauren
"GONADS!!" -Kristin
"Gonads and STRIFE!!!" -Brian
"I'm going to stilepoject.wee" -Lauren
"That was not a wee thing" -Brian
"I'm part of an elite group called "The Future Wives of Future Felons" haha..." -Kimmer's away message
"You should dress up like a POLE!!!" -Kristin, to Steen
"In your toilet bowl of exes, [he's] a floater while [he's] a sinker" -Lauren, to Steen (names withheld to protect the innocent)
Kimmer: "I can't believe he's in jail!!"
Jeri: "At least you know where your boyfriend is!!!"
Brian: "Wait, where in Jersey do you live?"
Jeri: "Pennsville"
Crispy: "Cowtown"
Brian: "Cowtown?!"
Jeri: "Yeah. My zipcode is 'moo'"
"Oh shut up!" *changes radio station* -Kimmer
Crispy: *upon viewing door decoration with her name on it* "CHRISTY DePaul?!"
Kimmer: "Just take away the 'y'."
Crispy: "CHRIST DePaul?!"
Kimmer: "Going to UD is trendy, Crispy. You're trendy now."
Crispy: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"I don't understand how this works!!!" -Kimmer
*GASP* "It has a pull tab!!" *triumphant* -Jeri
*after Christine introduces Kimmer to Robyn* "Christine has friends?! Hee hee, I'm just kidding..." -Robyn
Christine: *when Tony and Nikki come visit her on the same night* "Look Robyn, more friends!!"
Robyn: "Who knew?!"
Dale: "Too bad they're her only ones!!!"
*as Christine is about to go on her break and is holding the Snickers "The Big One" in her hand* "This is what you wish you had, Dale - a big one!" -Christine (no, i'm not talking about the candy bar...think dirty lol)
Christine: "...Yeah, so how many people were in your graduating class? 8?"
Dale: "7. And 7 out of 7 graduated - 100% graduation rate!!!!"
Shane: *calls Christine's register phone*
Christine: "Hel-lo?"
Shane: "Guess what?!" *hangs up*
Christine: "...Hee hee, I'm sorry, Melessia, I'm just being annoying"
Dale: "As usual"
Dale: "You're moving slow today"
Christine: *SIGH* "Would it KILL you to say something nice to me?! I mean, after all...it is Sunday" *evil grin*
Dale: "But if I said you were fast I'd be lying. And it IS Sunday" *evil grin*
Dale: "Did you know that we don't have to circle the savings or tell customers how much they saved anymore?!"
Christine: "REALLY?!?"
Dale: "Yeah. I'm never talking to the customers EVER AGAIN!!"
Christine: "You never talk anyway"
Dale: "Good point"
Christine: "Just a few random grunts or something"
Dale: "HEY!!!!!!!"
"Stacy the SKANK
-and-
Tracy the TRAMP
for a good time call ext 2563" -message board on door of girls across the hall from Christine
*SQUEAL* "You're wearing sweatpants! It's so cute! I've never seen you wear sweatpants before!" -Robyn, to Christine
"Bye, sweatpants" -Robyn, to Christine
*while standing in Acme parking lot*
Christine: *sniffs* "I smell food"
Dale: "Yeah, me too"
*both sniff in search of it*
Christine: "Mmm...I want a Harry's steak...."
Dale: "You want a hairy steak?!"
Christine: "SHUT UP!!"
*after Dale constantly can't hear her*
Christine: "And I thought I had bad hearing..."
Dale: "What?"
Christine: "EXACTLY!"