"FREE SPOT!!!" *hops onto free spot on couch* "It's mine!!!!" -Kimmer, at Bob's apartment
"Oh, I've been in accidents, they just didn't involve other people. Me and a pole, me and a STOP sign..." -Nick
Christine: "You got cheese on your face"
Kim: *to the tune of 'We Will Rock You'* "You big disgrace!!"
*after making a wrong turn* "I'm not sure if this is the road. If it is, we will see a bridge." *10 minutes later* "Well, I'm not seeing a bridge, let's turn around." -Kimmer
*while on alternate way to Jeri's new house*
Crispy: "A church here, a church there - what's with all these churches?! I feel like I'm in the Holy Land or something!"
Kimmer: "We're in the Bible Belt of New Jersey!!"
Jeri: *tells Kimmer and Crispy a story in pool while wearing goggles*
Kimmer: *giggles* "It's hard to take you seriously in those things!..."
Kimmer: "...So if they think I'm a whore and Crispy's a dork, then what does that make Jeri?"
Jeri: "Void"
"I hope he's gay. I think he will be! I can see him driving a MIATTA, and his vanity plate saying 'Pretty'..." -Jeri, on an ex
"...Maybe he IS gay! That's why he has so many hot guy friends!" -Crispy, on someone else
"No, no, no. You used him. And now you've gotten rid of him..DUDE!! You SO shoulda yelled, 'NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'" -Kimmer
Happy, peppy Mike: *over PA* "I need the key on 9 please! Thank you very much!!"
Robyn: *groans, rolls eyes*
Mike R: *turns around, laughs* "I luv this guy!!"
Robyn: "...Oh, no, the word 'pussy' doesn't offend me. Even I use that word. I just hate the C U Next Tuesday term..."
Chris: "C U Next Tuesday...cunt?"
Robyn: *gasp!* I can't believe you said it!!!" *slaps Chris*
Rich D: "Well, that's cuz AJ likes you...then again, I think he likes just about any girl..."
Christine: "Yeah, he likes anything without a penis"
Rich D: *shocked look* "Well yeah...you're right...but I can't believe you put it that bluntly!"
Chris: "Oh yeah, Robyn...I want you" *rolls eyes*
Robyn: "Of course you do! There's just not enough of me to go around. If there was, all males ages 15-35 would want a piece of me!.."
*upon seeing a sign for Jeri's exit, then thinking it IS the exit, when it actually is a weigh station, and Kimmer and Crispy drive around it TWICE*
*calls Kimmer's cell phone* "I HATE Jersey!!" -Crispy
*to Kimmer* "Hey! It's Erin! And she's in her car!!" *runs up to Erin's car and hops on hood* "Hey Erin...OW!!! HOT!!!" *hops off hood* -Crispy, being a dumbass
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Quotes from Erin's webpage
*while trying to ride an inflatable dolphin in the pool* "I have a wedgie!!" -Kimmer
*while riding inflatable dolphin in pool*
Christine: "See, I mounted the dolphin!"
Erin: "That's just cuz the dolphin knew you needed some mounting action in your life"
Christine: "Kim, it's your phone!"
Kimmer: "MOTHER OF CHRIST!! I'm wet!!
"I know him! I know him...Bri...Chris...KEVIN LAGOWSKI!!" -Mark, trying to remember Erin's boyfriend's name
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Mark: "C'mon, Jeri, finish my sentence. Fail..."
Jeri: "ure"
*upon answering cell phone* "I can't talk long, I am immersed in water...I'm immersed in water...*SIGH* I'm SWIMMING..." -Kimmer
Crispy: *clutches blue, inflatable beach ball* "I have a blue ball!" *evil grin*
Mark: "That's GREAT. Lose the other one in 'Nam?"
"I'm going to el change-o my clothes..." *stage whisper* "That means that I'm gonna change my clothes in Spanish..." -Mark
*upon Dale telling Christine a story about how his car wouldn't work and got towed on his break*
Christine *gasp* "You drove your car?! I wanna see! Where'd ya park?!"
Dale: *calmly* "Hold on...lemme finish..."
the greatest quote i ever heard during band practice: "Dude, that shit fuckin happened to me the other day, i was just fuckin around with it and the motherfucker dropped on my motherfuckin shit, and i was like, 'fuck that dude, that's fuckin weak' and it hurt like a bitch!" -Jeff's away message
Dale: "When did you work today?"
Christine: "I didn't . I requested off."
Dale: "THAT'S why I'm working!..."
(me n Dale have Acme figured out. on Sundays, when he works, i get semi early hours, and he usually works 1:30-6; he usually comes in halfway through my shift. but when he's off, i work later, like til 4 or 5, which means that i cover both of our shifts. well, Dale hadn't been scheduled for the past few Sundays, so he had to cover part of my shift, lol.)
*upon Kimmer parking her car in between 2 Mercurys, Jeri's Sable and Crispy's Grand Marquis*
Erin: "Yeah, I wanted to bring the Tracer so the Mercurys could bond, but Joe took it."
Crispy: "Ha ha, KImmer's Integra's in between 2 Mercurys"
Kimmer: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"