"My brother was in the den, all sprawled out on the TV..." -Kristin

Jon: "Yes! I know this!"
Heidi: "We'll see..."

"...Yeah. My green dress. I'll wear it on Wednesday, when Heidi's lecturing. And I'll yell 'Go Heidi!'" -Jon

Kim: "He's online, but he's always away. I don't understand"
Christine: "Oh, you will when you get to college. The ethernet is a beautiful thing - you're not tying up a phone line. Away messages become your friends way of letting you know where they are & what they are doing, and constantly remind you that you don't have a life cuz you commute"
Kim: "O..k...but you're not bitter, right?"                                                                                                                                                 
"Hee hee, your kids aren't gonna be circumsized.." -Robyn, in reference to Christine's crush on Jewish guy

*overheard by Kim in Padua hallway (said by "blue people")*
One girl: "You're such a dirty whore!"
Other girl: "I'm not dirty!!!"

*laughs* I'm gonna get my face beat in someday. A customer comes up to me & says, 'Where's your honey?' And I couldn't resist, so I said, 'She's home, thanks for asking'. I crack myself up" *laughs hysterically* -John, at Acme

Kristin: "My vampire name is Mistress Bloodfang"
Christine: "Yeah, well, mine's Sir Sucksalot"

"Yeah,
my pain comes with a side order of fries" -Mistress Bloodfang (Kristin)

Lauren: "Gee, Kristin, if you fuck with me, you're toast"
Kristin: "Well, if you fuck with me you're an English Muffin!"

"My soul is a tasty treat" -Kristin

"Make sure to bill me as Mistress Bloodfang" -Kristin

Lauren: "You don't look like a hotdog today!"
Christine: 'It's all in the buns" *slaps ass*

"The fundamental theorem of arithmetic is a theory so great that it cannot be described in words" -Christine's "intelligent" beginning sentence to the definitions part of her math exam
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From Erin's Webpage:
"Two semi-cute girls with small boobs seeking two left-handed cute guys for hand-holding, boobie touching and schlong-enlarging" -Erin and Steen's WANT-AD!

"(NAME WITHHELD) was ambidextrous..had we done more, that woulda been convenient" -(NAME of slightly inexperienced friend of mine WITHHELD)
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"I'm laughing at...uh
with Evan..." -Kim

"Ha ha, you'd take anything with a penis and a pulse" -Robyn

Christine: "So how did Danielle like the flowers?"
Rich: "I dunno. She was confused at first, and said, 'What's the occasion?' And I said, 'They were free'."

"Dude, did you even
know that JoAnn was pregnant? I mean, I just thought she was getting fat" -Rich

"If  you let God into your life *snatch* then people wouldn't steal your pen" -Rob, to Christine

Rob: *over intercom* "I need the key on 3"
Jackie: *yells from desk* "What do you need, Rob?"
Rob: "I need yoooooooooooooou!"

"So yeah, my friend's having a Kwanzaa party...they're not black, they just like an excuse to have a party" -Robyn

Customer to Jackie, when she was stressed and frustrated: "I really like your hair, you should keep it that way."
Jackie: *smiles* "Thanks. I'm about to pull it out right now"

Lauren: "So how was work?"
Christine: *WHINE!!!!*
Lauren: "Point taken"

Rob: *shoves cow-spotted gloves in Christine's face* "Feel these, they're soft"
Christine: "Yeah, soft like a cow - not that I feel cows often"
Rob: "I do"

Christine: "So what did you do last night?"
Mike R: "Nothing. I was grounded."
Christine: "Why?"
Mike R: "I got arrested a few weeks ago"
Christine: "For what?!?"
MIke R: "I was at a party and it got busted by the cops, and I was drunk and I'm a minor.."

"I had a few friends over...they're ex-cons too" -Mike R

"Yeah, my friends called me from the party they were at. They were all drunk & passing out on the floor - I SO SHOULDA BEEN THERE!!" -Mike R

Christine: "Well, at least your voice sounds better"
Robyn: "That's cuz I keep on coughing up phlegm"
Christine: "...Thanks for sharing..."
Robyn: "Anytime"

Christine: "I don't know what it is today, but all the customers are getting on my nerves"
Robyn: "You need to start smoking weed. THEN you'll relax"

"I never tell any of my secrets..." -Rich
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