| Brian: "Just cuz you have a girlfriend doesn't mean you're not gay!!" *whole table erupts into laughter* Mr. Stephan: "Is that closet door coming open, Brian? SCREEEEEEEEECH!..." Erin L: *smacks Brian's arm* "Is there something you're not telling me? Cuz if there is, tell me now so I can stop wasting my time..." *Christine and Kim listen to the Opie and Anthony show on the radio in the car* Radio DJ: "I mean, when he got the throat cancer.." Christine, in response to DJ: "Not just any throat cancer, the throat cancer!" *same radio show discusses body part transplants, including hands, & how twisted that is because if a criminal died someone else could have his set of fingerprints if they got his hand* Kim: "Yeah, it's true, everyone has their own unique set of fingerprints" Christine: "Yeah, it would be like, 'Well, on this hand I have a set of fingerprints unique to me, however...'" Kim: "No! It should be on the other hand..." "I've been in a depression for a little while and I'm just coming out of it now - IT'S GREAT!!" -Dr. Bunkse Survey: Are you too shy to ask someone out? Lauren: I don't ask people out..I ask very politely like I was taught at Padua if they wanna screw like rabid bunnies Survey: How do you eat an Oreo? Lauren: Like many other things, I put it in my mouth & chew...WHY do people make such a big deal out of this?!?!? It all goes to the same place & eventually comes back out anyway...WHO CARES Survey: Dream boyfriend/girlfriend? Kristin: Jesus, he had to be the ultimate fuck Survey: Do you want to have kids? Kristin: I'm going to procreate bountifully. So bountifully in fact that I will live on a sheep farm & call my children nightly by clanging a triangle and bellowing 'KIDS, YOUR DADDYS ARE HERE FOR DINNER' Survey: What will your first son be named? Kristin: I'm going to name my first cat "fuck" just so I can go out in the yard & scream "FUCK!! Hey FUCK!!" Survey: What kind of car do you want? Kristin: Your ass, on wheels some dude: "Oh look, another door!" Steen: (to Lauren) "Oh look, an asshole" *in Linguistics class* Heidi: "So tell me a word that starts with the sound ae" Jon: "Apple!" Heidi: "Very good! Apple! Now what is another word?" *class is quiet* Jon: "Appletree!!!!" Christine: "Holy goddam mother fuckin ASSHOLE!!!" Lauren: "Wow...very impressive" "Is that your final answer?" -some girl in math class, when the teacher kept on changing answers Brian: "Jackie, my shirt smells, can I have another one?" Jackie: "It's called a washing machine. Wash it." Brian: "No, I spilled cleaner on me today" Jackie: "Well, I guess you'll have to smell your entire shift then" "If you were to hit me as a child, that might do some emotional damage. If you were to hit me now, as an adult - I'll kick you in the ASS!!!!!!!!!!!" -Dr. Ferretti "I'm making the 'p' sound cuz that's a sound I like to make" -Christine Lauren: "I'm gonna put on Hanson and see who streaks" Steen: "Streaks?" Lauren: "Uh..shrieks" "It's a fish, Christine, it doesn't have a major" -Erin Lauren: "What's better than a Mac machine?" Kristin: "KRISTIN!!!!!" *upon riding in the '86* Kristin: "Omigod, you have automatic windows?!?" Later, upon seeing retractable antenna Erin: "This car is like the Batmobile!!!" *Christine absent-mindedly tosses bottle of dishwashing liquid back and forth* Kristin: "You handle that thing like a PRO!" "Damn, Christine, you should be a football player!" -Kristin, after Christine tackles Lauren to keep her from reading something *Lauren tries to keep Christine from erasing something on the dry-erase board on the dorm door* "No, Christine, don't!!" *ducks under board, giving Christine full access to it* "He's such a bitch..." -Lauren "Christine, you're so frizzy sometimes.." *plays with her hair* -Lauren "YAY! In 5 minutes I can go back to sleep!!!" -Jon, towards the end of Linguistics class "Have an Acme day!" -Ryan "Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go-go-go..." -Steve, running to the time clock at the end of his shift "...And they got a lead singer that kinda looks like Jesus.." -y100 DJ, in reference to Nickelback's lead singer |