| More of the email from Erin... |
| "You know, it's a shame I can't fart through my penis" -Joe (Erin's brother) "*while vrooming a carpet vacuum* I am the Bissell Man! Hear me roar!" -heard at Bugaboo Creek "I enjoyed staying overnight at the morgue...Peeling back the skin? It's thrilling!" -overheard at Chili's "Don't let worry kill you, let your church help!" -the Dialogue *while dissecting fetal pigs in biology* "It smells like fetal pigs in here" -Raquel "Oh, and you sniff fetal pigs often?" -Kristin -and- *upon having Morning Fresh air freshener sprayed in the face while dissecting fetal pig* "Oh great...now it doesn't smell like pigs...it smells like morning fresh pigs" -Kristin -AND- *while sawing open a fetal pig* "Hey, it feels like Thanksgiving!" -Erin "Kristin?" "Yeah?" "I think we're lost..." "WHAT?!?!" "Kristin?" "What now?" "We're in Maryland" -Kristin and her brother "Oops, curb" "Oops another curb." "These curbs keep coming out of nowhere" -Brian (Kristin's brother) "It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then it's fun, but you just can't see." -James *upon hearing bad news of a world civ final exam* "Mr. Smith, if your tires are slashed, I DIDN'T DO IT!" -Casie "It's not molecules, it's fucking polka dots!" -Joe "I mean, all I really ask for is some new PANTS once in awhile! EVERYONE NEEDS NEW PANTS SOMETIMES! THEY GET HOLES!" -Kristin "You should have thought of that BEFORE you sacrificed 27 goats to Satan" -Weekly World News "Man, I've heard some horror stories about acid trips and stuff like that. A guy had a sheet of acid in his pocket and it started raining. And he had like 120 hits soak into his skin. Imagine that. I mean, I've heard of people seeing blue squirrels and stop signs talking and stuff like that, and it's like...I don't wanna see that." -Joe "If you WANTED, you could just go to Disneyland" -Kristin *after hearing incessant female giggling at some Padua event* "I swear to god, if I hear ONE more GIGGLE from over there I'm going over there with a bat and I'm going to GIGGLE their asses til they BLEED!" -Kristin, at a particularly violent moment "I need one more Crispy Chicken...crispy, like me!" -guy at McDonald's "I'd be honored to be...*theater goes silent* ...sheep...girl..." -Kristin "UUUUUUAAAAARGHHH!" -Joe "I want a finger" -Erin "Ou est-ce que vous dormez?" -Madame Mayer "Dans la riviere!" -Kimmer ("Where will you sleep?" "The river!!") "What? You wear hot pants?" "You want to be a man...?" "You love Brittany Anderson?" -Erin, misunderstanding Maly "HA! Maly got lei-ed!" -Katie V "Well beans and disease to you too!" -Laura "Dammit!" "Slut!" "Shit!" -Christine, all in one day (back when I didn't curse..) -and!- "Fuck!" "Guten tight...that's the word for a German virgin" -Rodney "So there's this midgit, right?! and he's got this..this flounder! And he's beating himself over the head with the flounder saying, 'What do I have to do?' And we're reading these treatments going 'Uhh, I dunno about the flounder..'" -Chris Hall "Short people are happier people! Just look at gnomes!" -Erin's mom "Mom, it's not cuz they're short. It's cuz they eat magic mushrooms..." -Erin "Ohh...that was your foot?" -Erik "They're not grotesque...they're just...freakishly large" -Erin, commenting on Erik's feet "Want...undies... *bleat bleat*" -Joe "WOAH! He got butter all over me!" -Pat Sajak, Wheel of Fortune "If you're sleeping in half a cardboard box in a nasty rat infested alley with nothing but a shopping bag and some cat food...dammit, go the fuck home!" -Erin "There's too much cat food associated with me" -Lauren ------------------------------------end of email--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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