Colleen: "Yeah. It was bad. He made me cry."
Phil: "Well she asked me if things would look good on her. How am I supposed to know? And she asked me if things matched. You guys are supposed to know this stuff, not me!!"
"I did not come here to work!!" -Lil Ron, at work
*upon Greg doing the usual prank, this time to Daria, where he calls and says he bought eggs on Thursday and a chicken hatched from one of the eggs*
"So Daria said I could come in and get a new dozen eggs. And I say, 'Well what am I supposed to do with the chick?' And she says, 'Did you take it out of the fridge?' *laughs* And I said, 'Yes I took it out of the fridge! It's running around. What am I supposed to do with it?'" *giggles* -Greg
Christine: "Can I go home?"
Bob: "Why are you asking me?"
Christine: "Well your name is Bob" (the store manager and the produce manager names are Bob)
Bob: "Yeah, well, I have more authority than the real Bob"
*upon seeing Christine in salad bar wearing her oh-so-gorgeous visor from Khol's*
"Nice visor. Gucci, right?" -John
*upon showing Steen some of the pets in the house and showing her 2 fish*
"...And these 2 are supposed to be mating...they're not doing a very good job of it"
*one of the fish is on top of the tank and the other fish is on the bottom of the tank* -Lauren
*upon Kristin asking if they put the new toilet in yet* "Did we get a new pot?" -Steen and Lauren think that Kristin said, "Do we have any pot?"
but yeah...we're all going to hell
i hope there's a diner there -Eric
Lauren: "Well everyone at work has one [a Mac] and they said that they are better than PCs"
Brian: "You're such a tool"
Kristin: "So Andreas saw me today and says, 'I didn't realize you were an Apple person'"
Steen: "As in food?"
Kristin: "No! As in computer!"
*upon how there should be no questioning of someone's sexuality*
Brian: "I mean, c'mon, if you saw someone do this *stretches, sighs, puts foot up on desk, leans back with hands on hips* and says, 'Hey' what would you think?!"
Kristin: "That would be my brother!! Oh...wait...was that out loud?"
*upon knowing that they have been having some problems*
Steen: "Do you guys have any running water?"
Lauren: "Nooo. Brian goes out to the well each morning, fills up the bucket, then we all take baths."
Eric: *smack*
Steen: don't smack your bitch
Eric: so you're my bitch now? :)
Steen: haha
Eric: finally steen sees the light
I was thinkin about you when south park was on -text from Eric to Steen
Christine: "Ok, I'm going on break"
Produce Brian: "Ok, I'll try to hold down the fort in salad bar for you"
Christine: "Well I'm sure that will be easy for you since you say that salad bar does nothing"
Produce Brian: "But you provide entertainment"
*right as Christine is walking away from salad bar to go on break*
*over PA* "Customer service in salad bar" -Greg, trying to be funny
Jen: *over PA* "Kareem, AJ has been spotted working between asiles 6 and 7"
AJ: *over PA* "No comment"
*over PA* "Barney Fife, please report for security" -Greg, being weird
Danielle: "Is he taller than you?"
Christine: "Yes"
Danielle: "Then that's all that matters"
Christine: "But everyone is taller than us"
Danielle: "There are midgets..."
Christine: "Man, why am I vibrating?"
Greg: "Sounds like a personal question..."
"This is sad - I can't find a spoon in a supermarket!!!" -Lil Ron
"I wanted to streak during the last hole of the LPGA. Just walk up, drop the trenchcoat ,and run" -Greg
Christine: "Yeah, she's on her break, she'll be back soon"
Robyn: "Oh, after she's done EATING?!"
(this is a co-worker she doesn't like...)
"Everyone knows that I laugh at people who kill themselves." -Evan
"So you remember those people I told you about who hang out on the train? They're getting together for margaritas. They met on a train!! They're trainfolk, and they're meeting outside of the train" -Evan
"She caught her husband having sex with a hen - a female chicken. So at least we know he wasn't gay." -Evan
Steen: "You guys are dumb"
Kristin: "I don't get it..."
Steen: "That's why you're dumb"