This web site is where my resume used to reside. I am very embarrassed to do this but I don't know what else to do. For those who do not know me, my name is Cristiano Alves, I'm 38 years old. I am a diabetic since I was 9 years old. As a result of my diabetes I have been losing my eye sight very quickly for the past two years to current almost complete blindness due to bleeding of the blood vessels in both my retinas, known as Ploriferative Diabetic Retinopathy (the image on this link gives you an idea of what I see through my eyes). If you can read my words now consider yourself blessed for it took me 6 and a half hours to type it with magnifying lenses.
My right eye has been operated on 5 times in the past 2 years because the first 4 surgeries failed to restore my vision. The 5th surgery on the right eye in December 2002 has once again failed. My right eye bled on Friday, Jan 17 and I am again blind on that eye. My left eye is nearly blind and I need to undergo surgery on it for the first time. I have not been able to work since March 2002. Even though I have been looking for work, the limitations of the type of work I can do hinder my chances of getting a job. I've been depressed wondering how to live as a blind person without a single family member nearby, being single and how not to burden anyone. Believe me, if you were in my situation you would be as ashamed as I am of exposing myself like this but I can't really fend for myself now.
Those who know me personally know that I am upbeat, entertaining, very lively, intelligent, hard working, generous and always positive. I've always helped whoever I could however I could - even the ungrateful. Now I am alone and in trouble. I did not have a really great childhood, so I cannot ask a father or mother for help. I wish I did but they are both in Brazil and could not do much even if they wanted. I was an abused child, beaten and humiliated in public by my father. I just never really learned how to be loved and that is why it is very difficult and embarrassing for me to ask for anyone for help, specially in a begging manner. But I am really in need and cannot see well to fight alone. I have contemplated taking my own life as the possibility of blindness loomed on the horizon while hiding my pain behind a loud laughter, I stayed resourceful, positive and self-sustaining.
The money I had saved ended in November 2002. I worked hard and saved money working. I tried investing it and lost 85% of my savings. I tried at least to prepare for the uncertainty and to a bad economy but nothing could prepare me to face blindness. I worked very hard through the years to build and keep a good credit and now I have no money not because I am lazy but because I cannot see well. I'm hoping that this is not a permanent situation and that in the near future, I can write you back and tell you that your help made a difference and that I really am doing well, able to see after having been operated, while eternally thankful to what you have done for me.
I spent Christmas 2002 depressed, sitting alone, answering phone calls from collectors. I have been stranded at home, not able to drive anywhere because I can't safely see even on daylight hours. I am typing this with a 36 size font on the computer and a black background with white letters so the contrast helps me see. I am about to lose all I've worked so hard for - my credit. I've always been an advocate of one's name because if you have no money you can still find a way to earn it honestly but you cannot find an honest way to earn a new name.
I always honored my financial commitments. I've been unemployed since March 2002. I did incur credit card debt attempting to get my health (my eye sight) back to where I could work in any job. I am now nearly $45,000 in debt and have no job to even call my creditors and tell them I will start paying them. My COBRA health insurance which I must keep otherwise any chance to have my eye sight recovered becomes non-existent, has just been raised from $354 a month to $431 a month. Unemployed with a health insurance tab of $431. I am sadly now considering bankruptcy and social security disability so I can have any help I can get for my essential needs such as rent, food and diabetes supplies and medication. I've always been slim, averaging 165 lbs but have lost over 19 lbs to currently 146 lbs because I had to cut on everything, including eating regularly. Disaster recipe for a diabetic.
For those who know me in person know that tomorrow I won't comfortably look you in the eye, so ashamed for doing this but I would not do it if I had a way out on my own now. You can help me by forwarding your cry for help on my behalf to persons you think will find in their hearts to help your friend on your behalf and ask them to please do the same. If you are reading this and don't know who I am, please write to me. I am not trying to become wealthy with this nor this is a scam however you can verify my story with Dr. Fuller at the Texas Retina Associates in Dallas, TX and Dr. Morse at UC Davis in Sacramento, CA. I will no longer accept any donation as soon as I obtain assistance from what maybe available to a person in my situation. In the mean time if you are able to help with anything - a friend, a family member. By stepping in my shoes it may be easier for you to understand my embarrassment. It took me a lot of crying out of desperation to gather courage to do this.
When the WTC towers came down, I was working in Dallas, TX and making a decent living and donated $500 to the Red Cross. Even though I knew my contribution was nothing compared to the billions of dollars raised to help those in need and that I knew that even if they misused my kindness, my motivation was that I did not. What I did was in my heart and not for credits. God bless them and the kind hearts I now hope to be surrounded by.
This web site is where my resume used to reside. I moved it to www.crisalves.com where you can see that I have a career and am not a bum, despite my resume not being so useful right now for me.
Please write to me so I can thank you and tell you how I used your help and keep you informed of my progress. Your generosity will help me have an outlook in life even without the certainty of light in it.
Thank you from my heart and God bless your soul and your health.
Please write to me [email protected]
Reposted on Tuesday, February 11, 2003