When tomorrow starts without me
and I'm not here to see...
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
filled with tears for me,
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
the way you did today...
While thinking of the many things
we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
as much as I love you...
And each time you think of me,
I know you'll miss me, too.
But when tomorrow starts without me,
please try to understand...
That Jesus came and called my name
and took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready
in heaven far above...
And that I'd have to leave behind
all those I dearly love.
So when tomorrow starts without me,
don't think we're far apart...
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here in your heart.
We are survivors without any choices.
Dreams of tomorrow are gone today.
Echoing sounds of our children's voices.
Our paths are crossed along the way.
Supporting each other in times of pain.
That is a Survivor Creed.
For a beginning of new hope explained.
This is what we all need.
We need to know that someone cares.
About the pain we feel each day.
That someone understands and shares.
And will be there when we say
"I don't know if I can learn to live.
Or if I would ever even want to.
I may never learn how to forgive.
But if I do, it will be because you~!"
Written by: Sonya Marvel
I said, "God, I hurt."
And God said, I know."
I said, "God, I cry a lot."
And God said, "That is why I gave you tears."
I said, "God, I am so depressed."
And God said, "That is why I gave you Sunshine."
I said, "God, life is so hard."
And God said, "That is why I gave you loved ones."
I said, "God, my loved one died."
And God said, "So did mine."
I said, "God, it is such a loss."
And God said, "I saw my son nailed to a cross."
I said, "God, but your loved one lives."
And God said, "So does yours."
I said, "God, where are they now?"
And God said, "Mine is on My right and yours is in the Light."
I said, "God, it hurts."
And God said, "I know."
Don't ask me to go from home,
I can not bear it, I'd rather be alone.
You see, if I leave my son may come,
And I have to be here to greet him home.
I'd hug him, ask him how was his day,
And sit down and visit, as long as we may.
I'd soak in the essence of his smile,
I'd hold his hand, just for a little while.
I'd look in his eyes and savor that twinkle,
I'd touch his face, smoothe out the clothes wrinkle.
I'd listen to his words, that familiar "Hey, Mom,"
We'd speak of our last moment, before he goes on.
I'll forget for a moment, him laying still in the coffin,
Appearing sleep like a babe, that I remember so often.
I'll forget he was placed into the ground,
As mourners and myself placed flowers all around.
I know the reality of him being gone,
But the old routines are hard to break,
He is at his heavenly home.
But, still don't ask me my home to leave,
He just may visit, I want to believe.
It's still hard to believe you're gone,
That I'll never hear your voice,
That I'll never see your smile,
I wish we had been given a choice.
Wishing you were on the other end,
Everytime I pick up the phone,
Wishing you were still waiting for me,
Everytime I would get home.
I could stay bitter,
And continue to ask why,
Staying angry at the world,
Because you had to die.
But I was lucky to have known you,
To have had the love you shared,
I'm lucky for the memories,
Knowing how much you cared.
In the hearts of many,
You'll always live on,
You'll always be here,
To see another dawn.
I know you're still here,
So I will not cry,
You live in my heart,
So I'll never say good-bye!
One night I cried to Jesus, as I sat beneath the tree.
I looked into the open sky, and hoped He'd answer me.
I�m lost, Dear Lord, I've traveled far, but still I seem to roam.
Please light the way and lead me, Lord, I need to get back home.
I told Him of my burdens, and of the sadness in my heart.
That from His gracious love, I'd never felt so far apart.
Why did you take my child, Lord? I cannot understand!
No longer can I touch his face, or hold his grown-up hand.
I'm angry Lord. I'm missing him. I'm drowning in my sorrow.
Please help to heal my yesterday, and face each new tomorrow.
It was then I heard his gentle voice, and felt his presence near.
How I wanted so to hold him, as I cried another tear.
He said, "Mom, I'm an angel now, my spirit will be free.
I'm an angel now in Heaven, so please don't cry for me.
I was chosen by our Lord above, and now I'm in His care.
When you need me, look inside your heart, I promise to be there.
No one can ever take away, our bond with one another.
For I'll always be your precious child, as you will always be my mother.
So, if you cannot find your way, or the road to home seems far,
Just look up to the Heavens, and I'll be your guiding star.
He said, "Mom, I'm an angel now, my spirit will be free.
I'm an angel now in Heaven, no need to cry for me."
I know you miss me Mommy, and your heart is breaking. But please know that I'm with you. You can not see me, because you see with your eyes. You can not hear me, because you hear with your ears. I'm with you mommy, I'm in your heart. I'm with you every step of your day. Can't you feel me there? I wipe the tears from your eyes when you cry for me. I kiss your cheek and I put my arms around you and try to comfort you when you feel you can't go on another day. Be strong for me Mommy, you are needed by others. My time was done; yours is not. I will always watch over and protect you and our family, Mommy.
I love you mommy, please don't worry about me. I know you cannot see me, but know that I am there. Talk to me Mommy; I can hear you. Listen to your heart, you might hear me too. I try to send you signs to let you know I'm there. Look for them Mommy, I hope they will give you some comfort. I might be the little birdie singing to you in the mornings. Maybe I was the one who moved the picture. Perhaps you thought you saw me out the corner of your eye. Maybe someone found something they had lost. Maybe I'm the butterfly that landed so close to you, or the warm summer breeze that caressed your hair. That was me Mommy. Please know that I am there.
Mommy, you were such a good Mommy to me. I know how much you love me. Before I was born, I chose you to be my Mommy, because you are the perfect Mommy for me. We will be together again one day Mommy.
I love you Mommy.
God Blessed us 13 years ago
with a wonderful little boy,
who as he grew could melt your heart with his looks and smile,
he was such a joy.
But 12 years, 6 months and 25 days into his life
God reached down and took his hand
and through the trials and tribulations,
led Kevin into the promised land.
Since he went home to be with God,
we have dealt with it the best we can,
always knowing if he could come back
he would choose to stay at God's right hand.
Kevin, how we all miss you so,
our hearts long for our little man,
always knowing the day will come
when we'll be together again!
Always know how much we all loved you. You were very precious and special to all the lives you touched, especially to me. You will always be my #1 boy. I loved you so very much. Rest in Peace, My Beatiful Child. Nonnie
This is a true story that occurred in 1994 and is told by Lloyd Glen: Throughout our lives we are blessed with spiritual experiences, some of which are very sacred and confidential, and others, although sacred, are meant to be shared. Last summer my family had a spiritual experience that had a lasting and profound impact on us, one we feel must be shared. It's a message of love. It's a message of regaining perspective, and restoring proper balance and renewing priorities. In humility, I pray that I might, in relating this story, give you a gift my little son, Brian, gave our family one summer day last year. On July 22nd I was enroute to Washington DC for a business trip. It was all so very ordinary, until we landed in Denver for a plane change. As I collected my belongings from the overhead bin, an announcement was made for Mr. Lloyd Glenn to see the United Customer Service Representative immediately. I thought nothing of it until I reached the door to leave the plane and I heard a gentleman asking every male if they were Mr. Glenn. At this point I knew something was wrong and my heart sunk. When I got off the plane a solemn-faced young man came toward me and said, �Mr. Glenn, there is an emergency at your home. I do not know what the emergency is, or who is involved, but I will take you to the phone so you can call the hospital.� My heart was now pounding, but the will to be calm took over. Woodenly, followed this stranger to the distant telephone where I called the number he gave me for the Mission Hospital. My call was put through to the trauma center where I learned that my three-year-old son had been trapped underneath the automatic garage door for several minutes, and that when my wife had found him he was dead. CPR had been performed by a neighbor, who is a doctor, and the paramedics had continued the treatment as Brian was transported to the hospital. By the time of my call, Brian was revived and they believed he would live, but they did not know how much damage had been done to his brain, nor to his heart. They explained that the door had completely closed on his little sternum right over his heart. He had been severely crushed. After speaking with the medical staff, my wife sounded worried but not hysterical, and I took comfort in her calmness. The return flight seemed to last forever, but finally I arrived at the hospital six hours after the garage door had come down. When I walked into the intensive care unit, nothing could have prepared me to see my little son lying so still on a great big bed with tubes and monitors everywhere. He was on a respirator. I glanced at my wife who stood and tried to give me a reassuring smile. It all seemed like a terrible dream.
I was filled-in with the details and given a guarded prognosis. Brian was going to live, and the
preliminary tests indicated that his heart was ok, two miracles in and of themselves. But only time would tell if his brain received any damage. Throughout the seemingly endless hours, my wife was calm. She felt
that Brian would eventually be all right. I hung on to her words and faith like a lifeline. All that night and the next day Brian remained unconscious. It seemed like forever since I had left for my business trip the day before. Finally at two o'clock that afternoon, our son regained consciousness and sat up uttering the most beautiful words I have ever heard spoken. He said, �Daddy hold me,� and he reached for me with his little arms. By the next day he was pronounced as having no neurological or physical deficits, and the story of his miraculous survival spread throughout the hospital. You cannot imagine our gratitude and joy. As we took Brian home we felt a unique reverence for the life and love of our Heavenly Father that comes to those who brush death so closely. In the days that followed there was a special spirit about our home. Our two older children were much closer to their little brother. My wife and I were much closer to each other, and all of us were very close as a whole family. Life took on a less stressful pace. Perspective seemed to be more focused, and balance much easier to gain and maintain. We felt deeply blessed.
Our gratitude was truly profound. The story is not over (smile)!
Almost a month later to the day of the accident, Brian awoke from his afternoon nap and said, �Sit down mommy. I have something to tell you.� At this time in his life, Brian usually spoke in small phrases so to say a large sentence surprised my wife. She sat down with him on his bed and he began his sacred and remarkable story. �Do you remember when I got stuck under the garage door? Well it was so heavy and it hurt really bad. I called to you, but you couldn't hear me. I started to cry, but then it hurt too bad. And then the �birdies� came.� �The birdies?� my wife asked puzzled. �Yes,� he replied. �The birdies made a shooshing sound and flew into the garage. They took care of me.� �They did?� �Yes� he said. �One of the birdies came and got you. She came to tell you I got stuck under the door.� A sweet reverent feeling filled the room. The spirit was so strong and yet lighter than air. My wife realized that a three-year-old had no
concept of death and spirits, so he was referring to the beings who came to him from beyond as �birdies� because they were up in the air like birds that fly. �What did the birdies look like?� she asked. Brian answered, �They were so beautiful. They were dressed in white, all white. Some of them had green and white. But some of them had on just white.� �Did they say anything?� �Yes� he answered. �They told me the baby would be alright. �The baby?� my wife asked confused. Brian answered. �The baby laying on the garage floor.� He went on, �You came out and opened the garage door and ran to the baby. You told the baby to stay and not leave.� My wife nearly collapsed upon hearing this, for she had indeed gone and
knelt beside Brian's body and seeing his crushed chest and recognizable features, knowing he was already dead, she looked up around her and whispered, �Don't leave us Brian, please stay if you can.� As she listened to Brian telling her the words she had spoken, she realized that the spirit had left his body and was looking down from above on this little lifeless form. �Then what happened?� she asked. �We went on a
trip.� He said, �far, far away.� He grew agitated trying to say the things he didn't seem to have the words for. My wife tried to calm and comfort him, and let him know it would be okay. He struggled with wanting to tell something that obviously was very important to him, but finding the words was difficult. �We flew so fast up in the air. They're so pretty Mommy.� he added. �And there is lots and lots of birdies.� My wife was stunned. Into her mind the sweet comforting spirit enveloped her more soundly, but with an urgency she had never before known. Brian went on to tell her that the "birdies" had told him that he had to come back and tell everyone about the �birdies.� He said they brought him back to the house and that a big fire truck, and an ambulance were there. A man was bringing the baby out on a white bed and he tried to tell the man that the baby would be okay, but the man couldn't hear him. He said the birdies told him he had to go with the ambulance, but they would be near him. He said, they were so pretty and so peaceful, and he didn't want to come back. Then the bright light came. He said that the light was so bright and so warm, and he loved the bright light so much. Someone was in the bright light and put their arms around him, and told him, �I love you but you have to go back. You have to play baseball, and tell everyone about the birdies.� Then the person in the bright light kissed him and waved bye-bye. Then woosh, the big sound came and they went into the clouds. The story went on for an hour. He taught us that �birdies� were always with us, but we don't see them because we look with our eyes and we don't hear them because we listen with our ears. But they are always there, you can only see them in here (he put his hand over his heart). They whisper the things to help us to do what is right because they love us so much. Brian continued, stating, �I have a plan, Mommy. You have a plan. Daddy has a plan. Everyone has a plan. We must all live our plan and keep our promises. The birdies help us to do that cause they love us so much.� In the weeks that followed, he often came to us and told all, or part of it again and again. Always the story remained the same. The details were never changed or out of order. A few times he added further bits of information and clarified the message he had already delivered. It never ceased to amaze us how he could tell such detail and speak beyond his ability when he spoke of his �birdies.� Everywhere he went, he told strangers about the �birdies.� Surprisingly, no one ever looked at him strangely when he did this. Rather, they always got a softened look on their face and smiled. Needless to say, we have not been the same ever since that day, and I pray we never will be.
Kevin Lee Waters
October 28th, 1986 2:56 a.m.
May 23rd, 1999 1:10 p.m.
Mommy loves you!
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