Good Grief! What are you on, because I want some? Another excellent match report - up there with the best I reckon - but you must have hallucinated when suggesting a win. Yet another example of the "Captain of the Year" title causing dementia.
And you nearly blew it by allowing Grocer to umpire. How many times have I told you?
He continues to try very hard to step into the ample shoes of his mentor, the Great White, whose expertise, though LEGENDary (there's the clue!), has been missing from CCC match reports for far too long. If Grocer's skin was slightly more tanned, I would have believed that it was he who gave Trescothick out yesterday - a decision of Groceric proportions, if ever I saw one!
But Grocer is always a man who likes to keep things in balance, to let the world gentle along at its own pace, to even up the yin and the yang, so he must have been tormented for a number of hours after upsetting things with yet another magnificent piece of pantherism, and felt that he had to balance things up. And that run out must have been really special, though it hasn't made the 6 o'clock news here, yet. For you to use words such as "swooping", "cleanly", "fires" and "shatters" tells its own story. I bet that's the only time that "Grocer" and "Jonty" have ever been used in the same month, let alone the same report, or THE SAME SENTENCE!
Your assertion that at no time did you attempt to run Stead out smacks totally of "he protesteth too much". We know that Stead got 77* but the report doesn't record your contribution to the partnership. Alice, report on score and strike rate, please.
Seriously, though, it's always good to read of a win - especially at KCC and especially against Sharma et al. I bet they were a bundle of fun at tea! Well done lads! Excellent news. What was Grocer's fine?
Make sure that you have a good cup run this year - will be back the week before the Sevens and expect to be able to watch you play after Easter - emphasis on "watch". Despite the fact that you clearly miss my contributions - as proved by the oft repeated "wish Lumber had been there to help out" - I am no Rabbi, but great to hear of his participation. Welcome back Rabbi!
Best wishes to all - note the new e-address - [email protected] - and Kung Hei Fat Choi for whenever it is.
Regards from Lady Lumber also.
My love to Alice, natch!
According to our skipper: "Stead pushed the ball, untimed, around the park for the whole innings for 77 and it never, I promise, never crossed my mind to run him out, even though we had 6 wickets in hand - no really."
The following might be interesting to Jones, as well as our sub-continent followers who might want place a bet on our next game - as I was told, you can bet almost anything there, even a C.C.C. Saturday League match!
At present, the top 2 batsmen with the best batting averages (NOTE - averages, not runs!) are:
M Eames 80.29
D Jones 66.00
After calculation, if (and God forbids!) Eames gets out the next game, his averages will be:
Scoring 0 and out, then his average will be 70.25
Scoring 10 and out, then his average will be 71.50
Scoring 20 and out, then his average will be 72.75
Scoring 30 and out, then his average will be 74.00
Scoring 40 and out, then his average will be 75.25
Scoring 50 and out, then his average will be 76.50
Scoring 60 and out, then his average will be 77.75
Scoring 70 and out, then his average will be 79.00
Scoring 80 (his current average) and out, then his average will be 80.25
Scoring 90 and out, then his average will be 81.50
Scoring 100 (what is expected from him every time he goes out to bat) and out, then his average will be 82.75
Let's say in the next game, Eames scores a ton, Jones comes out to bat, runs Eames out, then takes 23 singles, God knows what will be in the match report!
P.S. So why Jones averages 66.00?
M Eames 9 Matches 9 Innings 2 Not Outs 562 Runs
D Jones 8 Matches 4 Innings 3 Not Outs 66 Runs
