by Doc
'...when we make mistakes people die.'
'Have you ever made a mistake?'
'Yes.'
'And someone died?'
'Yes.'
'That's got to, for lack of a better work, suck.'
'You have no idea.'
The two women sat in silence thinking about their words.
'I'm sorry Kerry if I've made you feel uncomfortable, you know asking.'
'It's fine. Honestly it is. I have made some mistakes, I have lost a few lives that maybe I could have saved. It's part of being a doctor. It's something I have to live with ... forever.'
Sarah noted the sorrow in Kerry's voice. She reached her hand out and lay it on top of Kerry's. Kerry looked up, she smiled at her companion, her eyes watering, not enough to form tears but clear enough for Sarah to see.
Kerry pulled her hand back and wiped her eyes with her napkin. 'God. I'm sorry Sarah. What a great first date this has turned out to be.'
'Kerry, it's fine. Honestly. Don't worry about it.' Sarah smiled. Kerry smiled back but could see that this was the first and last date she would ever have with Sarah.
After they finished their coffees the woman walked out together. They made small talk and nothing more.
'Well', said Sarah, 'I'll call you sometime'.
Kerry smiled politely. 'I'd like that.' She said, knowing full well Sarah had no intention of calling.
'Well, I'd better get going. Can I give you a life home?' The offer of the lift home sounded to Kerry more of an afterthought.
'Thanks Sarah but I'm parked just up the street.' Both women looked a little uncertain as to how end the evening.
'Bye.' Sarah leaned in and kissed Kerry on the cheek.
'Bye Sarah.' Kerry stood and watched Sarah walk away. Kerry turned and headed towards her car. It was to be another night alone in bed. A thought she wasn't sure she wanted to change.
Opening her front door Kerry could hear the sound of the television. She took her coat off and walked into the living room. 'Hi.' She said quietly. The young woman from next door sat up from lying on the couch.
'Hi Miss Weaver. How'd your date go?'
Kerry smiled at the youngster, 'It went how I expected it to.'
'Is that a good thing or a bad thing?'
'It was a nice evening and Tracy please call me Kerry.'
'Well, Kerry, are you going to see her again?'
'I don't think so.' Kerry reached into her purse. 'Here we go.' She handed a few bills over to her young babysitter. 'Thanks for looking after Henry. How has he been?'
'He's an angel Miss Weaver,' Kerry gave her look that made Tracy correct herself, 'I mean Kerry, he's been good all night. I changed him about an hour ago and fed him about twenty minutes ago. He didn't really take much, I think he just wanted a cuddle
'We all want that from time to time.' Kerry added not realizing she had said it out loud. 'Sorry, Tracy. Um, thanks for tonight. You'd better get home. I promised your mother I wouldn't keep you to late.' Kerry walked the young girl to the door. 'When's your next exam?'
'In a couple of weeks. I'm a bit nervous but I think I'll do OK. Hopefully better than OK but I'd be happy with OK.'
'Good luck. So you'll be studying for the next two weeks then?'
'Yes but I'll still be able to baby-sit when you go out with Sarah again.'
'Thanks but I don't think your mother would be to happy with that. I'm thinking your exams are the reason your mom wasn't too keen on you baby-sitting tonight.' Tracy nodded. 'Well, until your exams are over I won't bother you. I don't want your mother hammering on the door if you fail because you were baby-sitting instead of studying Tracy chuckled, she knew her mom would do that.
Kerry opened the door and Tracy stepped outside. 'If you get stuck ask. I could use the money and I can study here. So, tell me was Sarah hot? When are you seeing her again?'
Kerry smiled at her. 'She was, as you put it, hot and I don't think I'll be seeing her again. The date was good but I'm sure it was a one off. Anyway, you get yourself home and thanks again Tracy.' Kerry watched until the young woman was inside her own home. It was only a 10 second walk for the youngster but Kerry always made sure she got in safely.
Closing the door Kerry headed for her sons room. She stood over him and looked at the small sleeping child. She gently stroked his hair and went into the living room. She turned off the TV and turned off the light and went to her room.
Entering the her bedroom Kerry didn't bother to turn on the light. She sat on her bed and kicked her shoes off. A deep sigh escaped Kerry's lips. She undressed and put her night clothes on. She knew she should have had a shower but she really just wanted to sleep and have this day end.
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