SERIES : the Trilogy
PAIRING : Buffy/Angel, Spike/Dru
[ALSO minor pairings: Spike/Faith, Raith/Riley, Willow/Oz]
OVERALL RATING : PG14. The last part is rated NC17
SPOILERS : I Will Remember You
DISCLAIMER : I do not own these
characters.
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PART 5
He heard
the scream too and he bolted for the alley where he saw a man with a woman by
the neck. He reached inside his duster, damn, no stake. Buffy caught up with
him.
“I don’t
suppose you have an extra…”
“Stake?
Like, duh?” She pulled out two. “One for me and one for you.”
She
handed him the stake and looked at their opponent. “Oh! Parker? How are you
feeling?”
“I’m
feeling hungry!” He dropped the girl and started toward Buffy.
“You
know this guy Buffy?”
“Yeah,
Angel, this is the guy, the rebound guy! The didn’t-call-the-morning-after
guy.”
“Oh,
well in that case…” he looked at her and vamped out, “he should die a second
slow and painful death.”
She
watched him lunge at Parker. She stood back and watched her man in action.
Parker was a good fighter, he kicked Angel and knocked him down.
“Honey?
You okay?” She asked.
“Yeah
dear, just fine.” Angel jumped up. “You shouldn’t have done that.” He said to
Parker.
The two
tumbled for a minute. Parker managed to get the stake from Angel and flung it
at him, scratched his forehead, and the blood dripped down his face. “Now, I’m
mad.” Angel punched him twice and got him by the throat. “Here honey, I got you
a present.”
“For me?
Angel, you shouldn’t have!” She walked to him and took her stake out. “Parker,
Parker, Parker, you should have called. It’s payback time pal, and I’m pissed.”
She pushed the stake through his heart and watched him turn to dust.
“ Feel
better?” Angel asked.
“You’re
hurt.” She went to him and wiped away the blood from his forehead. He backed
away. “Angel…”
“No, you
shouldn’t have to…”
“Angel, I
love you all the time, not just when you’re, not just when you look… I just
love you.” She reached up and wiped the rest of the blood from his forehead.
He
remembered the first time she had seen his face. He had tried to fight the
demon, but it had a way of jumping out when he didn’t want it to. She had
screamed and he had run. Now she was wiping his forehead and he could feel her
breath on his neck as she cleaned him off.
“There.
All better.” Her hand was on his cheek. He morphed back, she wasn’t expecting
it and she pulled back a little. “Don’t scare me. Warn me next time.”
“Sorry…
wouldn’t think that would scare you.”
“Yeah
well… ready to go Willow?”
“Yep.”
They
walked across campus. Buffy unlocked the door to their room and walked inside.
“Uh,
Buffy?”
“Oh
sorry… promise you’ll be good.”
“Buffy?”
“Oh come
in…” She smiled. Willow flumped on her bed.
“Well, I
suppose you two want to be alone?”
“I don’t
think that was ever the wisest idea.”
“Right.”
“So,
Willow, how’ve you been?” He asked.
Buffy
stared at him as Willow told him ever detail of the past couple months. The
three spent the entire night talking. The sun came up and Buffy quickly closed
the blinds. She missed her dreams. She wasn’t sure which she liked more, seeing
him or seeing the dreams. At least in the dreams, she got to be close to him.
That damn curse!
PART 6
She had
to go to class. Had to see Riley, knowing Angel was sleeping on her bed in her
dorm. She walked with Willow.
“How’d
Riley take it?”
“Well,
he wasn’t really sure. He was kind of shell shocked. He said he loved me.”
“What?”
“Yeah,
well, I told him I loved Angel, and I couldn’t be with him.”
“Oh that
poor guy!”
“Well, I
feel bad, but he slept with Faith!”
“Well… that’s
sort of not his fault, how would he’ve known?”
“Angel
would’ve.”
“Well,
he’s not Angel.”
“Don’t I
know it Willow, don’t I know it.”
They sat
down in class. Riley had said nothing, he said nothing all class long and when
they were leaving, he continued to say nothing. Buffy was glad, she didn’t want
to say anything to him. She had nothing to say.
“I’m
going to see Tara, ‘k?”
“Later.” Buffy walked back to the dorm and
opened the door. He looked so peaceful while he slept. She just sat on the floor
and watched him. Twenty minutes later he began to stir. He opened his eyes and
he smiled. She leaned over to him and his lips met hers. She snuggled up next
to him and his arms wrapped around hers. His hands found their way under her
shirt and his lips were moving to her neck. His tongue slid along her skin. She
moved her hands under his shirt and made contact with his chest. He was so
cool, she just wanted to make him warm.
She felt
so good. So right, so perfect to him. Her skin was so warm and he smelled the
vanilla perfume on her neck. He nibbled on her ear and she responded on his.
Her hands were all over him, around him, her tongue on his neck and in his
mouth and all over. He kissed her neck even more and saw it. He pulled away and
sat up.
She was
stunned. “What’s wrong?”
“Buffy,
we know we can’t… there’s no sense… we have no idea where that happiness
boundary exists… one day we are going to go too far and you’ll have to…”
“Shhhh…”
she put her lips over his to quiet him.
He
hesitated, but she was too tempting. He kissed her, and sooner than he knew he
was taking off her shirt, ripping it off. Her hands went to her back and took
off her bra. He found her breasts with his tongue. He was kissing her. Smelling
her sweet skin, tasting it in his mouth. She clawed at his shirt and it too
came off, faster than hers had. Her mouth explored his bare chest. He put his
hands through her hair, around her neck.
He
flashed… there was another woman he had done that to. He stood up and the
bubble popped.
“Angel,
as long as we stop before… I don’t see why we can’t…”
“Because
of that…” he grabbed her hand and pulled her in front of the mirror. He pushed
her hair aside and kissed where he had fed from her. “Because I did that, and
because right now, I am not in this room, look.”
“I may
be a blond, but I can tell you you're definitely in this room because I have
never enjoyed myself quite this much in this room by myself. I mean, I love
Willow and all, but…”
“Buffy…”
“Angel…
the normal life thing isn’t working for me.” She sunk down to the ground
holding his legs. She was crying. He hated to see her cry. He knelt down and
cradled her in his arms. Her warmth made him tingle. He just held her and she
wept.
How
could she tell him? How could she make him understand what leaving her had
done? She had been so sad, she didn’t
want to go on. She had thought about just not fighting back one day, letting a
demon take her. She let the tears fall and he held her. The tears slowed.
“Angel?”
“Yes?”
“Angel,
have you ever had a dream that you wished was reality?”
“Every
night since graduation.”
“Angel,
I’ve been having dreams. Real dreams, all night long.” She turned and looked at
him. “Angel…” she was about to confess her dreams, “Angel, as long as I live, these
dreams, I’ll never forget them, I’ll never forge… oh god!” She clasped her
mouth. Was it possible? That sounded so familiar. Why? Had it? It had! It
wasn’t a dream, he had been warm, she heard his heartbeat. She closed her eyes
and the tears fell and she slammed against him and started screaming, “Why!?”
PART 7
He had
watched her. Was it possible? Could she remember? NO, the Oracles had said that
the day would be erased. She was grabbing him, scratching his back screaming,
“Why!?”
He
remembered, was it possible it hadn’t been erased? Could it be? She cried and
screamed for a long time. She finally quieted. Her breathing slowed and he felt
it on his chest. She just sat, quietly, between his legs, just laying, still.
Only in his dreams had she remembered. She said she would never forget, but she
had. She had kissed him and then she came in to the office and so it was. The
forgotten day, his burden to bare, to remember. His pain, his torture.
He
thought back to her eyes, crying, begging him to change it back, to take away
the choice he had made. He had wanted to, wanted to take those last five
minutes and drown himself in her warmth. He had told her. Maybe that had been
wrong. He wanted to break the silence and tell her, make her understand. But he
couldn’t be sure.
“Why?”
She broke it, she reached over him and pulled the blanket from her bed over her
bare upper half. “Why did you do it?”
“Why
what Buffy?”
“Why did
you ask for it back? Why would you do that when we had everything we wanted?”
“Buffy,
I don’t kn…”
“Don’t
play dumb Angel, I heard your heartbeat, I felt you warm inside me. We ate ice
cream and made love all day. Why did you do it?”
“Buffy,
I had to.”
“No you
didn’t. You’re scared. You’re scared to just be. You’re scared to be happy, scared
you don’t deserve it, scared that if you’re not untouchable that I won’t want
you, scared that… you’re just scared. It’s not fair, you had no right to take
the choice away from me. You take away all my choices. You just leave as you
see fit. Angel, can’t I make a decision? Tell me really, why?”
“Because
you could die if you had to protect me. I couldn’t fight. I was helpless. Do
you want to have to bury me? Is that something you want to have to do?”
“At
least then I could own the memory of having been with you and having been
happy. At least then I could remember what it was like to make love to you with
sun beating down on us. Eating ice cream with you, eating chocolate… do you
have any idea how sad I am? Of course you don’t. You never ask. Never say, ‘hey
Buffy, feel like shit today?’ I’m sick of having to be all-perky-Buffy. It’s
not fair. Angel, I would rather be sitting here with your arms around me
knowing I can never feel you inside me again, than not have you at all.”
“You say
that now, but… in a year, in two… and what about me? You’ll get older, never
get to have kids, never get to have sex again, because of me?”
She
stood up and put on another shirt. “Don’t you get it Angel?! If I’m not with
you, I don’t ever want to have it again. If it’s not a life with you, it’s not
a life I want.” She walked over to him. “Angel, take me with you.”
“What?”
She came close to him and she pulled him to her neck. Was she asking him to…?
“Take me
with you. I don’t want to live without you. Take me. Make me.”
“Buffy,
I won’t. How can you ask me to do that?”
“Listen
to me Angel! Listen to my heart, every beat is for you, take them inside you.
Make the hurt stop. I’m begging you… take me with you. Listen to my blood…
pumping away… it’s calling you Angel… take it, answer the calls. You must have
thought about it, so do it, take me.”
She
pushed him into her neck. He tried to resist, but he was listening, he was
always listening. He had thought about it, she was begging him. Her blood, he
remembered once before when he had fed. Her blood coursing through his body, a
siege of emotions, memories, how good it had tasted on his lips, in his mouth.
He grabbed her, put her at the angle he liked best, and he bit into her tender
neck. The blood began flowing out, it splashed into his mouth. It had been too
long. He drank… he couldn’t stop.
PART 8
She felt
him bite into her. It hurt, but not as much as living without him. She felt the
blood dripping down her neck, she felt his tongue on her neck, felt him feeding
from her, tasting her life. She could feel life leaving her. She whimpered,
“Angel…”
What was
he doing? He pulled away. He looked into her eyes. She wasn’t scared. She was
ready for death, ready for immortality. He morphed back. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t.
She was desperate, she didn’t know what she was saying. The blood continued to
flow out, oozing down her neck, it was so good, tasted so good in his mouth,
slipping down his throat… NO! He put her on her bed and grabbed a towel, he had
to stop the bleeding. His body screamed at him, drink! He couldn’t. He wouldn’t.
“Angel,
no! Don’t stop… I want to come with you…” she said in a meek voice, and she
slipped unconscious. How much had he taken? He didn’t think that much… perhaps
not. He heard the door open.
“BUFFY!
GET AWAY FROM HER!”
“WILLOW!
I can explain! She wanted me to, I, I stopped, she wanted to be like me…” he
began crying…
“YEAH
RIGHT, ANGELUS… she wanted you to, likely story, get out! GET OUT! GET OUT OR
I’LL KILL YOU!”
He left.
He had to, Willow didn’t know, and Buffy couldn’t tell her. He ran, the sun had
just set and he ran. He just kept running. He had to get away, he had to. He
couldn’t keep doing this. He couldn’t believe it. He ran to Giles’ and jumped
in the car, and drove. He had to get away… he had to erase this from his
memory, he had to get away.
She was
groggy… it was dark all around, was she? She heard voices… it wasn’t like she
imagined it would be. She thought she would hear the blood, like Angel had said
he did. She didn’t hear blood, she heard her mother, “Buffy?”
‘Mom?’
She tried to speak, but she didn’t hear her voice. She tried, but she couldn’t.
“Buffy?
You have to come back to me, you can’t leave me like this, not by him.”
She was
not dead. Damn him! Why? She could remember him, on her neck, holding her,
drinking her life, taking it into his mouth. She remembered him… she remembered
her pleading to him. She couldn’t be dead, not if her mom was talking to her.
She was probably in the hospital. Where was he? Oh God, had someone…?
She
didn’t know what she was feeling? He had promised forever, and he had broken
that promise and where was he now? They were connected… she was inside him,
part of him, he had her blood inside. She would now bear more scars from him,
two on her neck and the rest in her heart. She lay still, she had no choice,
she just kept thinking, ‘Angel… Angel… Angel… why did you fail me?’
He
arrived in LA just after three in the morning. He opened the apartment door and
went into the kitchen were he saw Buffy and himself, making love. Everywhere he
looked he saw her. Everywhere he looked he was surrounded by memories and the
taste of her in his mouth. Damn! Why did she have to taste so good? He couldn’t
tell which was better, the taste of her blood or the taste of her femininity,
that taste of her wetness and the smell in his nostrils. He didn’t know if she
was dead or not. Had he killed her? How much had he drank? He couldn’t
remember, everything was fuzzy. Everywhere he went, he saw her. He laid on his
bed and slowly fell asleep.
His
dream that night was different from others. He saw Doyle. He missed him.
“Angel?
How ya been buddy? The Powers That Be tell me you had an exciting night?”
“Doyle?
Exciting, not really, did I?”
“No you
did not kill her. She’s alive, she’s in the hospital, but she’s alive, and she
needs you.”
“Why are
you here?”
“I have
been sent by the Powers That Be…”
“Powers
that be what?”
“The
Powers That Be in charge of life and destiny.”
“Why?”
“Because they like you.”
“That’s
great… but why are you here? I mean I am dreaming right”
“That
you are my friend. I am here because they have a message… one that’s
important.”
“Well?”
“Well,
let me remember… let’s see, something about your soul… and a demon…”
“What? Doyle,
you didn’t forget did you?”
“NO,
it’s coming back to me… oh yeah, you have to meet the challenge, you have to
face the challenge, three in fact… you are on your way to completing them…”
“What
else?”
“One
other challenge… and you’ll be rewarded, handsomely…but you have to be careful,
for things are not always as they seem. Well, I have to go… because they are
telling me I can’t say anything else… you have to go… and so do I. Just
remember, you never know your strength, until you’ve been tested, and you’re
being tested, I’ll see you on the other side…”
“Doyle!
Wait!… thanks!”
“Good
luck, and say hello to Cordelia!”
He woke
up… a challenge? What challenge? What more could he endure? Where should he
start? What was the reward? So many questions. Should he go back to Sunnydale
or stay? Is that the challenge? He wish he had just a second to ask the Powers
That Be. He fell back asleep, Buffy’s blood coursing through his veins, and he
dreamt of the forgotten day.
Doyle
walked over to her and slowly unbuttoned her shirt. She felt his lips on her
bare chest, felt his hands touching her. She took his shirt off and began her
exploration, teasing him like he had teased her moments before. She met his
mouth with the same eagerness as he ha…
She woke with a splitting headache. No fair, now the PTB
are waking her up for these visions? She fell back and watched the pictures.
“Oh my God!” she said, when the visions had stopped. She had to get to Angel,
to tell him. Buffy was in trouble.
He woke
up shaking. He saw Cordelia above him. Oh God, what had he done?
“Cordelia?”
“Yeah,
wake up Angel! I have to tell you something.”
“It’s
like in the middle of the night!”
“Yeah,
believe me I’m more upset about this than you, Mr-I-can-stay-up-all-night,
look, the PTB are getting way out of control, is there a way we can tell them I
don’t appreciate being woken up from a very nice dream?”
“You had
a vision?” He sat up.
“Yeah,
and you look like hell, I thought you’d be gone longer, how’s the gang? You
don’t have any clothes on, I’ll be up in the office, get dressed and come up.”
With that, she got up.
She got
upstairs and sat down and the phone rang. “Angel Investigati… hey, it’s like
four in the morning, who’s calling?”
“Cordelia?”
“Yeah,
Willow, is that you?”
“Yeah,
is Angel there?”
“Yeah do
you need him?”
“No,
Cordelia stay away from him, he’s evil again, you have to try to stake him…”
“What
happened? Him and Buffy do the nasty?”
“Yeah,
she’s in the hospital, I got there and he was, he had bitten her…”
“Okay…” she
hung up the phone. “That’s funny, he could’ve taken me easy…”
Just
then Angel walked in. “What is it? What’d you see?”