SERIES : the Trilogy
PAIRING : Buffy/Angel, Spike/Dru
[ALSO minor pairings: Spike/Faith, Raith/Riley, Willow/Oz]
OVERALL RATING : PG14. The last part is rated NC17
SPOILERS : I Will Remember You
DISCLAIMER : I do not own these
characters.
=====================================================================
PART 9
She
could hear the voices more clearly. She tried to make her fingers move. She
tried to speak.
“Buffy?”
“Mom?”
“Buffy,
you’re waking up! I’ll go get a doctor…”
“No,
Mom!” she swallowed… it hurt to talk, but she had to… “Angel…”
“Angel
is being dealt with Buffy, you don’t wo…”
“Mom,
no! Don’t kill him! He didn’t…”
“Buffy,
what are you saying?”
“Mom…
no….” But she couldn’t find the words and she slowly slipped away.
“Okay,
mister, you stay right over there… don’t come closer or I’ll…”
“Cordelia?”
He moved closer… and she carefully kept her distance, she was alone with him. But
still, it didn’t make sense, why hadn’t he grabbed her earlier? Why was he
sleeping when he could have been feeding?
“Cordelia,
what are you… have you spoken with someone from back home?”
“As a
matter of fact yes, and so you just stay over there…”
“Cordelia,
how’s Buffy?”
“Huh?”
“How is
she? She isn’t… dead is she?”
“No,
she’s in the hospital, now you just sit right there and don’t move, be a good
vampire, while I go get a stake.”
“Cordelia…
no!”
“No
what? Don’t kill you? I told you I would if you ever…”
“I
didn’t! I mean I did, but she asked me to. I bit her, but I stopped, but then
Willow came in and she told me to leave and I had to, I mean, we didn’t, we
just… she remembered…”
“Remembered
what?”
“She
remembered in a dream, that I was human, and that she was here, and we…”
“Oh. So
you’re not?”
“No, we
didn’t, I’m not… I’m Angel, not Angelus and I know you probably aren’t going to
believe me, but if I was him, I would have taken you by now. Why would I have
left when Willow told me to? I could’ve taken her too.”
“I know,
Angel, I can see it in your eyes. Wanna tell me about it?”
“We were
sitting there, we had been kissing and we stopped, and she asked me why I had
changed back. We were arguing a little and she begged me to take her with me,
to make one of me, she was crying and pushing me into her neck and I did, but
then I realized what I was doing and I stopped and tried to stop the bleeding,
I didn’t think I’d taken that much, but she passed out and Willow came in, and
I ran.”
“Okay…
then you came back here…”
“Yeah,
and I had a dream, Doyle came and told me that I had met two challenges and
that there was one more I had to face and then I would get a reward. That’s
what he said, that the PTB liked me, and they were happy… and you had a vision,
what did you see?”
“I saw
Buffy. I saw her with this big demon guy and he had these poky thingies and you
were on the floor and you were bleeding pretty bad and then he went after Buffy
and… and then it was over. I think she died… I’ve never felt so sad with a
vision, it was like I could feel all this pain and sadness and grief. Angel, it
scared me.”
He
walked over to her and hugged her. “We’re on our way to Sunnydale, and I’ll
tell you about Adam on the way.”
They had
just left when the phone began to ring. What did I do? What if it’s too late?
What if Cordelia already… no be positive Willow. She let the phone ring and
ring and ring. She couldn’t bare to put it down, she couldn’t think of what
happened.
She was
behind clouds that she couldn’t get past. She didn’t know why the darkness was
so lonely. Was this what it was like for him? Lonely and scary. Where was he?
Was he… was he dust? Why hadn’t he finished what he started? Did he want her to
die? She just wanted to hear his voice once more.
He
arrived in Sunnydale, once again. They pulled up to the hospital and climbed
out of the car. It was night again, and visiting hours were over. They snuck
into the intensive care room. He approached her. She looked so pale, paler than
himself. So weak. Her face was frozen in time, the look in her eyes as she
whispered his name. Why hadn’t she been frightened? She trusted him, trusted
him enough to give him her life.
He could
still taste her in his mouth. He took her hand in his. It was so cold, like his
own. Had he done this to her? He had. How could he have done that?
She felt
his presence. She didn’t hear any words, but she felt him take her hand in his
own. His hand was so warm, she couldn’t remember what the dream was and what
was real. She was confused. She felt his lips press down on her forehead. She
wanted to reach him, to tell him what she knew. She was fighting the fog in her
head. She had to get out of the clouds. ‘Angel… Angel…’ she called to him,
‘Angel… Angel…’ she tried, she was reaching out to him, “Angel…”
She had
said his name. He heard it. “Buffy… it’s me, I’m here, come back to me, you
have to come back to me so we can make this right. Please come back to me.”
Her eyes
opened slowly and he gazed into her eyes. They looked so lonely, so scared,
weak and a tear fell onto her face from his own.
He was
leaning over her and she put her hand to his cheek and caressed it. He was
crying. She had never seen him looking sad, no she was wrong, she had, two
minutes before the day was erased. She reached up and pulled his face to hers
and kissed him, tears running down their cheeks. He was so beautiful.
“My
Angel!” She looked up at him and the light from the ceiling illuminated around
him.
“HEY!
GET AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER! YOU MONSTER!” It was her mother.
“MOM!”
It hurt to scream. “Mom, it’s not what you think, Mom, he didn’t do it to hurt
me. I asked him to, I… it hurts so much not having him, I asked him to make me…
to take me with him forever. Mom, he’s not… he’s my Angel.”
“Some
Angel, you do this to someone you’re supposed to love? You claim to care but
you’ve hospitalized her twice.”
“And
both times were my choice Mom. I told him to, it’s not his fault, it’s min…”
Just
then she saw Xander come flying into the room at Angel with a stake in his
hand, “NOOOO!!!!!” She tried to get up, but it was too late, Xander was on top
of Angel. “Xander, NO!”
Xander
got up, and the stake was not in his hand. Buffy looked for it, frantically
searching, praying, ‘not the heart.’
It
stung. He had always wondered what it would be like. He felt weak, he had heard
her scream. Maybe she was better off without him. He glanced up at her once
more and then fell to the ground.
PART 10
“ANGEL!”
It hurt, like hell, but she had to get up. She ripped out the wires from her
arms, but she didn’t feel them. She fell at his side, and turned him over she
had to get it out, to undo what had been done.
“Buffy…
I…” he spoke. She grabbed the stake, had he been lucky? It was the right spot,
or was it? She couldn’t tell, her eyes were clouding over with tears and she
stared into his eyes and she knew. How long did she have to say goodbye? It
wasn’t enough.
He felt
her roll him over, he felt the stake leaving his body. He looked into her eyes
and saw how much she was willing to give up to have him. Why had he been so
stupid? He remembered the last time he had been dying, before the first drop of
blood entered his mouth. 240 years or more flashed before him, the times with
Buffy. He tried to tell her that he loved her, but he was slipping away. He
closed his eyes, waiting for what was next.
This had
not been part of the plan. This was not in the deck. How to undo what was done?
How to save him? Could it be done? I had the power, but should I? This was not
part of the plan. Fast thinking was called for.
The
decision was made, and time was frozen. I floated into the room. I became
everyone. The thoughts they had at that instant. I am the creator. I am the one
who sends each to his or her destiny. The hearts in the room were momentarily
stopped. I had to fix it. This was not what I had planned for these two. They
were transcendent, bound to each other. They would always find each other,
their souls were one. They had been my star-crossed lovers centuries ago, they
were again. I created them and they would keep coming back. I remembered the
stories of such a transcendent love, held across time. The time had gotten away
from my predecessor and I had made him what he is.
This was not to have happened so soon. His death was not
to be now, he hadn’t earned it. I walked to him and reached into his body. I
held his heart in my hand and I felt it healing itself, becoming whole again. I
picked up the stake and marked it with the symbols they knew best. I touched my
girls face, so full of fear and sadness. I knew what is in store for her. She
has served me so well, she deserves more than I can give her, but this one
thing I can. I glance to them all, and
wondered if he could meet the challenge that still lies ahead. I smiled and
floated away to watch my children. And time began again.
He
wasn’t turning to dust. Everyone saw it get him in the heart. She looked down
at him and waited. She sat there with him in her arms waiting, for him to fall apart.
She sat there for twenty minutes. He sat up and she looked at him. No one knew
what was going on.
He had
felt it, pierce his heart. He had felt it, he knew where it had hit. He had
felt it go in. He was sure of it. Maybe
this was the hell he would live in, forever. Maybe this was his punishment,
watching Buffy continue, watching her grieve. He was afraid to speak, afraid to
find out the answer to his question, was he still alive, or was he a spirit?
“Angel?
Are you? I mean, do you feel…? I don’t get it…”
“Buffy?”
“Yes?”
“Oh
good, I was afraid this was m…” She picked up the stake and looked at it. It
had had blood on it just a second ago, there was nothing now. Just four
letters.
“Angel,
look…” she handed it to him and he smiled. “What?”
“TPTB.”
“I don’t
understand.”
“The
Powers That Be.” Cordelia came in, “TPTB are the The Powers That Be, where I
get my visions from. Who the Oracles work for, that’s who, the ultimate power.”
“What do
you think it means Angel?”
“Probably
that they fixed it? I don’t know. But I would be dust by now, if…” She grabbed
him and pulled his lips to hers. The same lips that had dined on her red life,
twice, the same lips that had brought to ecstasy before. The lips would never
touch her in that way again. She wanted to be close to him, she was now, she
was underneath his skin, inside him, like he had been in her.
He
couldn’t believe it. Yet again, The Powers That Be had saved him, given him
another chance. He wrapped his arms around her, allowed her tongue to enter his
mouth, savored the taste of it, touched it with his, massaged her pain as best
he could. He pushed into her mouth, the only part of his that could ever be
inside her. His body made him aware of how badly she drove him mad with need to
be close to her. He had to stop. He pulled out and held her close to him. He
looked around and everyone, besides Cordelia, was shocked that he wasn’t
killing them all.
A couple
minutes later a nurse came in and put Buffy back in bed. She put the tubes back
in and he sat next to her while she explained everything to everyone. Her
mother didn’t trust him. He knew that. She hated him for doing this, he hated
himself. In a few hours Buffy was sleeping and he was told to leave, everyone
was ushered out the door.
“I want
you to stay away from my daughter.”
“Joyce…”
“That’s
Mrs. Summers to you, and I want you away from her.”
“Mrs.
Summers, you heard Buffy, Angel did what she asked, it was her choice. She was
sad and she was confused, but she loves him and he loves her and you have no
right to say that to him.” Cordelia felt awful. She knew how much Angel would
beat himself up over these this. How much pain he was in all the time, how much
he agonized over Buffy and what he had done. How dare she say that to him, she
had no idea how it felt to be him.
“Mrs.
Summers, with all due respect, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Willow stood with her on this. Cordelia was glad she was not the only one who
was supporting Angel on this.
“How can
you say that? He almost KILLED her!”
“Xander,
I know you’ve never been on the Angel-bandwagon, but you don’t know anything
either. You can’t possible know what he feels like. How dare you pass judgment
on someone like that. You were always yelled at me in high school because I
passed judgment on everyone else and now here you are…”
He
couldn’t believe it. She had grown up. What had happened to her? What happened
to the bitch he had known and loved? If she believed in Angel, perhaps he should
back off, let Buffy make up her own mind. “Fine, Cordelia, have it your way,
just keep Dead Boy away from me and my neck!”
He heard
her calling, “Angel!” He ran to her bedside. “Stay here with me tonight. Sit
with me. Please don’t leave me.”
“I won’t.”
Everyone left for the night and he was left alone. He held her hand and he saw
the ring, she was still his. He kissed her ring, her hands were cold to his
lips. He pulled the covers over her and sat by her bed, watching her sleep, so
peaceful.
PART 11
In the
morning, she woke and looked around, the blinds were closed and he was standing
by the window. “Angel.” He rushed to her side.
“Morning.”
“Is it?”
“Yes it
is love. Buffy, I…”
“Angel,
I was wrong, what was I thinking? No, that’s not true, I knew exactly what I
was thinking. Angel, I can’t go through life pretending to be normal because I
am not. Why should I have a normal boyfriend, one who I can’t talk to about the
demon of the day? Why should we be punished?”
“Because
I chose the wrong girl to feed on and I will pay forever. I’m sorry, to make
you pay the price for my mistake. Had it not been for her, I probably never
would’ve met you, and we would not be in pain.”
“Shhh…”
she put her finger up to his lips. “Don’t say that… I would rather die a
thousands deaths than have to live never having met you. I love you forever.
Vampire or not, good or bad. I loved you even when I was kicking your ass.”
“I don’t
think you were kicking my ass, I think I was kicking yours…”
“Hey
pal, you were so over, had it not been for Willow…”
“Okay,
you win, I can’t pick a fight with an invalid. Seriously…”
“Seriously
Angel, I loved you even when you were… when you were him.”
“I know…
I loved you too…”
“You
lie.”
“I do, I
felt nothing but hate Buffy, that’s what I hate most. What I did, who I hurt,
and how, but most, I hate that I did this to you. Buffy, it’s there inside me,
I can’t control the demon, temptations are there, you, the need for the…”
“Shhh….”
She pulled his lips to hers and washed away the fear he had. She saw the fear
in his eyes, how scared he was to be telling her about this. They shared so
much, “Angel… I am glad you did it.”
“What?
How can yo…”
“Angel,
no matter what now, I am a part of you. I am inside you all the time. You can’t
get rid of me, you carry some of my life inside you. If that’s the most
intimate we can be, it must be good enough.”
He
couldn’t believe what she was saying. He was glad she had said it, so he didn’t
have to. He knew looking into her eyes that she knew exactly what he was
thinking. He felt the same way, he could feel her life inside him. He knew it
was there, it would be there, always, part of him.
Days and
nights passed quickly and within a week she was going home. She was so happy to
be getting out. He was not there though, he had to get out of the hospital,
there was another patient in her room now and they couldn’t risk someone
realizing that he had no reflection in the glass windows. He was at Giles’
house and Cordelia was coming to pick her up.
“Hey
Buffy! How are you feeling?” she asked Buffy.
“I’m
good. Cordelia, I never got to say thanks.”
“For
what?”
“For
standing up for Angel. For being there for him, for helping him when I
couldn’t.”
“Ya know
Buffy, I know I was a bitch in high school and I gave you a hard time. I want
you to know that I’m really sorry. I’m not just saying that this time, I mean
it.”
“I know
you do.” They hugged for a minute and the doctor walked in.
“Okay
Ms. Summers, just sign this release and you’ll be on your way home.”
They
pulled into Giles’ and Buffy jumped out of the car and ran into the house. She
smashed into his arms and their lips met. It had been two days and she had
missed him. This was going to be hard, being together, it was going to be a
challenge not to slip, but she was sure they could handle it.
“Now, we
have the scoobies back together, we need to put a stop to Adam.” Giles spoke so
authoritatively. She saw how hard it was for him to have Angel in his house.
The same house where he had come home and had found Ms. Calendar dead upstairs,
a present from Angelus.
He sat
on the couch and she sat in his lap with his arms around her. They all listened
intently to Giles. He had thought a lot about how to take Adam on. Dusk fell
and they ordered pizzas. They were all talking when the door flung open.
“HEY! I
GOT AN IDEA!”
Angel
jumped up and lunged at his throat, both were in their game faces. Angel was
growling and she screamed, “ANGEL! NO!!! LET HIM BE! Leave him alone!”
Spike
jumped back and Angel hit him. Spike struck at Angel and doubled over in pain.
“OW!” She rushed after Angel and took his hand. “That bloody hurt!”
“Angel,
he’s okay,” she caressed his face trying to calm him down, and he did. She
turned to Spike, “This better be good. You’re going to help us? Out of the
evilness of your heart? Please.”
“Yeah, I
thought you would love to throw a loose cannon at us!” Xander said.
“Yeah,
well, I thought about it, and then changed my mind when the bloody thing tried
to rip my head off a few minutes ago.”
“Oh… so
what’s your plan?”
“Well, I
was thinking. Ya know when you did that mojo stuff and took the tracer out of
my back?”
“Yeah,
what of it? We shouldda let ‘em take you, what were we thinking?”
“Hey! Ya
know blondie, it was that long ago that you were going to be Mrs. William The
Bloody!”
“WHAT?!”
Angel screamed.
“Oh
sure, throw that in my face!” She looked at Spike, he disgusted her.
“BUFFY?!”
She
turned to Angel, and saw his face, pure rage and jealousy, “Angel, it’s a long story…
and one I care not to be reminded of. Spike, what… get on with the plan.”
“Well,
the things electrical right? Some of it anyway?”
“Yeah…
get on… I’m getting really bored and when I get bored I tend to get my good
stake out.”
“Well,
you do that mojo spell in a room and it messes up his computer thing, then we
all rush him. Little Xander with an axe, you, Angel, me… and we chop him up.”
“That’s
so stu… ya know, that’s not half bad… my brain is working, work brain work, trying
to figure out what’s wrong with it, there’s gotta be something… nope… I’m
getting nothing… it’s a keeper…” Xander
stood up, “let’s do it!”
“Hey
whoa! It’s a good plan, but how do we know you’re not working with him? Huh?”
“You
don’t, you have to trust me…”
“That’s
it, I’ve heard enough! Get out Spike! Go tell him it’s not going to work!”
Buffy started to push him out the door. “Willow, get that banishing spell out,
we need to use it!”
“No,
wait, I swear on Dru’s unlife… I swear, I’m on the level… the thing tried to
rip my head off, it tried to just rip it off and it would’ve worked, but those
commando guys showed up and zapped him a little.”
“Angel?
You know him better than we do, what do you think?”
“Well,”
he walked over to him, “I think it’s okay, and if he’s lying, I will personally
track her down and make him watch while I burn her with holy water and turn her
to dust…”
“You got
a deal mate.” Spike sat down on the couch and grabbed a piece of pizza. “Not
bad, but could use a little raw meat.”
“You’re
a pig Spike…” she sat down and looked at him. She couldn’t believe she had
loved him, had kissed him… “yuck…” she got up and went into the kitchen for a
drink. Angel followed her in.
“I’d
love to know about the blessed union.”
“You
remember when I told you there was no force on this earth that would make me
tell you about my dreams?”
“Yes…”
“It’s
the same deal here. No force on this earth.”
“OH
Spike?!”
“AND IF
SPIKE KNOWS WHAT’S BEST FOR HIM HE’LL KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT TOO!” She screamed, hoping
it would be enough, Angel didn’t need to know.
PART 12
That
night Angel and Buffy went on patrol together. She held his hand and they
talked and for a while it seemed almost normal. Then something went terribly
wrong.
“BUFFY!?”
“Riley?
What’s going on? Why are you in your commando suit?”
“There’s
trouble! Big trouble, at the Bronze, Adam has about 50 people hostage in there.
He’s killing them, we just got a phone call from inside, he’s got a bunch of
vampires in there and they’re keeping people in while Adam is killing them off.
We need help, we can’t get in there…”
“Okay!
Angel, now would be a good time for that cell phone!” She grabbed the phone and
called everyone at Giles’, the plan would have be moved up. Willow was going to
get Tara to help with the spell and Spike and Xander were getting weapons. They
would meet in an hour and hopefully not too many more would die.
An hour
later, we were all assembled. Riley had disappeared on commando business.
Willow had been memorizing the spell and a couple others to try in case. Spike
was vamped already, we all knew how much he loved fighting. Angel was too.
Everyone had a weapon and plenty of stakes. Everything was going according to
my plan. They had all come prepared. Every weapon carefully placed and the
spells meticulously memorized. It was show time. I was ready to give aid if
needed. I walked among them tonight as I had so many other times. I was ready.
They were nervous, I could read their thoughts, but I was confident.
“Okay,
here’s the plan, Angel and Spike get in. Take Willow and Tara with you, you
two, get into place for the spell. Spike and Angel, stake as many as you can.
And Spike, if you turn on us, I don’t care if it’s with my last breath, I’m
comin’ after you.”
“Relax
blondie, is it that time of the month?”
She
ignored his comment. “Then Cordelia, Xander, Anya and I go in, as soon as we’re
in, hit the spell. We’ll take out as many vampires as possible while you do the
spell. As soon as the spell works, I’m rushing Adam. Once you can, get up there
too, and save any body who needs it. Everyone got it? This has got to be the
biggest challenge we’ve ever faced.”
Challenge.
Buffy. He had never told her about Doyle or the dream or the vision Cordy had.
She didn’t know what was coming. Should she? It was too late, she was motioning
for Spike and him to go. He took her into his arms and kissed her, just in
case. His tongue entered her mouth and she returned his passion with her own.
She took the initiative and moved her tongue into his mouth and it was then
that he realized what he was doing. He tried to pull away and she held him
close. She was kissing him, refusing to let him go, his real face, what he was.
Her tongue ran over his teeth, his fangs, ones that had given her two scars. He
tried to pull away, but she pulled him close to her and pressed her body to
his. He put his arms around her and kissed her back. She was the one that
pulled away.
“Okay,
go get ‘em tiger… I love you.” She let him go and he left. He was stunned.
I
watched and felt what they were feeling, read their thoughts. She was accepting
him, he was starting to accept the challenge before him. He was beginning to
gain what he had lost. I was watching his humanity grow… smiling… sending them
the courage they needed to face the challenge.