the Aftermath

Parts 17-23

 

SERIES : the Trilogy

PAIRING : Buffy/Angel, Spike/Dru [ALSO minor pairings: Spike/Faith, Raith/Riley, Willow/Oz]

OVERALL RATING : Parts 3,6,9 are rated NC17. Part 28 is rated R. Otherwise, parts are rated PG14.

SPOILERS : I Will Remember You & my fic the Challenge

DISCLAIMER : I do not own these characters.

 

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PART 17 (PG - Tara)

 

            “Angel?” I was walking toward him.

            “I can’t see, who are you?”

            “You already know me, hold on.” It was overkill, a little too bright. “Better?”

            “Tara was it?”

            “You remember.”

            “I couldn’t forget, you saved my life, gave me a new one, so why am I here? Why would you give me something and take it all away?”

            “I thought there were some things better left talked about person to person. Or rather person to me. I’ve been listening to you Angel.”

            “Not the very best place to be listening, huh?”

            “Angel, you have so much good in you. I think you need to see a world with no Angel, you keep acting like you don’t know what you want, when you know exactly what you want, you just need to see.”

            “I don’t know what I want, I want Buffy to have a normal life, I don’t want her to have to deal with my baggage, I can’t tell her the things I’ve done. How can I?”

            “Angel, if you want her to love you the way you love her, you have to tell her everything. She won’t think less of you. Look at her, she’s mourning.” I put my hand down and swirled it around to allow him to see the world. “Angel, you’re dying. You came to me because you needed to, but I don’t have to power to send you back to her, you need to want that bad enough to go on your own Angel, only you can help her now.”

            He looked down, I could feel his confusion. He wanted what was best for her. Maybe you should just erase me from her memory. Make the past few years disappear, take them back. Make her forget, destroy me, take me wherever you want, just… I cause her too much pain.” His memories and thoughts began to take over the visions and we floated along the memories he’d made, the memories he relived…

 

PART 18 (PG – Red Agony)

 

            We are in his old apartment and Buffy opens the door, comes in and closes it behind her. She walks over to the bed and sees it's been made. One of his shirts is laid out on it. She goes over to the bed and reaches for the shirt. Behind her Angelus steps over to a statue, picks up a necklace hanging from it and puts it on. Buffy turns and sees him.

“Angel!” Buffy runs to him and kissed him. “Oh, my God! I was so worried!”

“I didn't mean to frighten you.” He says.

“Where did you go?”

“Been around.”

“Ohhh. Oh, my God!” She hugs him, “I was freaking out! You just disappeared.”

“What? I took off.” He walks over to the bed and picks up his shirt.

Obviously confused, Buffy speaks. “But you didn't say anything. You just left.”

He pulls on the shirt. “Yeah. Like I really wanted to stick around after that.”

“What?”

“You got a lot to learn about men, kiddo. Although I guess you proved that last night.”

“What are you saying?”

“Let's not make an issue out of it, okay?” He grabs his coat and continues, “In fact, let's not talk about it at all. It happened.”

“I, I don't understand. Was it m-me? Was I not good?”

“You were great. Really.” He says with a chuckle, “I thought you were a pro.”

“How can you say this to me?”

“Lighten up. It was a good time. It doesn't mean like we have to make a big deal.”

“It *is* a big deal!”

 

He watched, tears trickling down his face, astounded at his own cruelty. He walked to her and put his hand on her shoulder, but she could not feel it, these were memories, shadows of the past, things that would not change.

 

“It's what? Bells ringing, fireworks, a dulcet choir of pretty little birdies? Come on, Buffy. It's not like I've never been there before.” He reaches his hand up to her face and she jerks back.

“Don't touch me.”

“I should've known you wouldn't be able to handle it.” He begins to leave.

“Angel!” He turns to her and with tears streaming down her face she says, “I love you.”

“Love you, too.” He walks out the door saying, “I'll call you.”

 

He stood there, watching Buffy fall to the floor in tears, trying to stop her pain. “I did this to her, look at her.”

“I am, and do you want to know what I see? I see a girl in love, same as I do know, Angel, every person gets hurt by love.”

“Not like she did.” And we travel to another time, another place.

 

“Buffy?” Buffy lays her right hand against the side of his face. “Is that you?” He says, as he lays on the bed, ill.

“It's me.”

“I didn't want to go without seeing you.” She puts her finger to his lips to stop  him from talking.

“Angel, I can cure you.”

“It's okay. - I'm ready.”

“Angel listen to me.” And she takes a hold of his shoulders. “Sit up.” Angel scoots up a little higher, but he is weak and moving clearly hurts a great deal.

“You're gonna live. You have to live.”

“What way?”

“Drink...” Angel frowns as Buffy takes off her jacket.

“Drink me.”

“No.” Angel shakes his head, appalled.

“It’s the only way.”

“No. - Get away.” He forces himself up. Buffy takes hold of his right arm as he stands up, looking up at him.

“It’ll save you.”

“It’ll kill you.”

“Maybe not. -. Not if you don't take it all.”

“You can’t ask me to do that.”

“I won’t let you die. I can't. Angel the blood of a Slayer is the only cure.”

“Faith's...”

“I tried. - I killed her.”

“Then it’s over.” Angel stumbles into the main room. He has trouble walking straight and Buffy grabs him by the arms and pulls him up to face her.

“It is never over! I won’t let you die. Drink! Please...”

Buffy looks at him, then pulls back her fist and hits left temple. His head snaps around but he stays on his feet. He turns back to look at Buffy and she hits him again. He still doesn’t go down, but it takes him a little longer to come back up. Buffy hits him a third time and this time Angel spins back with a growl, vamped out. He just stands there while Buffy pulls down the shoulder strap of her shirt, then grabs him by the hair at the back of his head. She looks at him for a moment then firmly pulls his head down against her neck. For a moment they remain like this, then he suddenly bites down. Buffy gasps with the pain but holds still. Some blood begins to run out beneath his lips and down her shoulder. Buffy slowly sinks backwards to the floor. With Angel lying on top still drinking, Buffy’s left hand reaches out and finds the pewter pitcher. She crushes it in her hand.

 

He walks over, watching everything that happened. She puts her hands against his sides as if she was going to push him off, but kicks out with her left leg instead, breaking the sofa table in half. She stares up into his eyes with a tear in the corner of her eye.

“Look at her. She’s scared.”

“No, she’s not Angel, and that’s what scares you.”

“I remember, what it felt like, it hurt, it felt like you were burning inside. She’s scared.”

 

Then her eyes drift shut and her head sinks to the side just as Angel finally rolls off her, panting. His face morphs back to human and he pushes himself up looking over at Buffy. The redness around the arrow wound is gone.

“Buffy?” She lies motionless eyes closed. “Buffy!”

 

“She almost died.”

“She didn’t.”

“Angel, you need to understand something very important before you have enough power to return to her.”

“I shouldn’t return to her, that’s the point isn’t it? I hurt her and it’s best if I just stay away, make her forget everything, you can do that, if the Oracles can erase a day, you can surely erase a couple years.”

“She would remember Angel. She would always remember, she can’t get away from you, cannot escape the feelings she has and it will always draw her back to you. You need to see that she would not be better off without you.”

 

PART 19 (PG – Never Forget)

 

            We see Buffy wearing a long flowery dress and she is pacing Angel's apartment. Angel comes down the steps to his apartment.

“I’m guessing that expression isn’t because they were all out of fresh OJ at the deli. - What happened?”

“Nothing happened. - I just..”

“Where have you been?”

“I went to see the Oracles. I asked them to turn me back.”

“What? - Why?” She asks him.

“Because more then ever I know how much I love you.”

“No. No, you didn't.”

“And if I stayed mortal one of us would wind up dead, maybe both of us. You heard what Mohra said. He said others would come.”

“They always come. And they always will. But that’s my problem now, not yours, remember?”

“No, I won't just stand by and let you fight, maybe die, alone.”

“Then we fight together.”

“You saw what happened last night. If anything I’m a liability to you. You take chances to protect me, and that’s not just bad for you, it’s bad for the people we were meant to help.”

“So what? You just took a whole 24 hours to weigh the ups and downs of being a regular Joe and decided it was more fun being a superhero?”

“You know that’s not it. How can we be together if the cost is your life, or the lives of others?” Buffy just stares at him and after a moment he takes her into his arms “I know. I couldn’t tell you. I wasn’t sure - if I could do it if I woke up with yoou one more morning.”

“I understand. - So, what happens now?”

“The Oracles are giving us back the day, turning back time, so I can kill Mohra before his blood makes me mortal.”

“When?”

“Another minute.” She is crying now.

“A minute? No. No, it's not enough time!”

“We don’t have a choice. It’s done.”

“How am I supposed to go on with my life knowing what we had? What we could have had?”

“You won’t. No one will know but me.”

“Everything we did.”

“It never happened.”

“It did. It did. I know it did! I felt your heart beat.”

“Buffy..” They kiss. Buffy looks over at the clock. The minute is almost up.

“No! Oh God. It’s not enough time.” He begins to cry and tries to quiet her.

“Shh, please. Please.” The hold each other tightly both crying. “Please, please.”

“No. I’ll never forget. I’ll never forget. I’ll never forget. I’ll never forget.”

 

He watches as the memory fades. “She broke the promise.”

“You know that’s not true. She couldn’t, even when she should have, Angel, her love for you is deeper than time, transcendent of everything that is me, more powerful than the plans I had for you. I made new ones, and you are part of that now, and you must learn. How can make you see?”

“You can’t, I don’t believe it, she’s cried so much over me. Why did you send me back?”

“Back?”

“From hell? From what I deserve, why? She would have been better without me.”

“Would she have? She doesn’t believe that. Why do you?”

“She can’t believe it about me, but you know the truth, I wasn’t worth saving, why?”

“It wasn’t I who brought you back, it was her wish for you.”

“I wasn’t worth it, I’m not. I never was. She wouldn’t let me go.”

“She wouldn’t because she couldn’t.”

“She should have.”

 

PART 20 (PG – It’s the Man)

 

We move to the hills behind the mansion outside of town. Buffy runs through the bushes, frantically looking for Angel. She climbs further up the hill and finds him standing at the top looking out over a peaceful residential area of town.

“Angel.” He hears her say his name and briefly glances in her direction before looking back out over the rooftops. Buffy slowly walks over to him.

“I bet half the kids down there are already awake. Lying in their beds... sneaking downstairs... waiting for day.”

She’s gasping for air, “Angel, please. I need for you to get inside. Th- there's only a few minutes left.”

“I know. I can smell the sunrise long before it comes.”

“I don’t have time to explain this. You just have to trust me. That thing that was haunting you...”

“It wasn’t haunting me. It was showing me.”

“Showing you?”

“What I am.”

“Were.”

“And ever shall be. I wanted to know why I was back. Now I do.”

“You DON’T know. Some great evil takes credit for bringing you back and you buy it? You just give up?”

“I can’t do it again, Buffy. I can’t become a killer.”

“Then fight it.”

“It’s too hard.”

“Angel, please, you HAVE to get inside.”

“It told me to kill you. You were in the dream. You know. It told me to lose my soul in you and become a monster again.”

“I know what it told you. What does it matter?”

“Because I wanted to! Because I want you so badly! I want to take comfort in you, and I know it’ll cost me my soul, and a part of me doesn’t care.” He sobs. Buffy is at a loss for words. “Look, I’m weak. I’ve never been anything else. It’s not the demon in me that needs killing, Buffy. It’s the man.”

“You’re weak. Everybody is. Everybody fails. Maybe this evil did bring you back, but if it did, it’s because it needs you. And that means that you can hurt it.” Angel doesn’t want to believe her.

“Angel, you have the power to do real good, to make amends. But if you die now, then all that you ever were was a monster.” She looks out at the sky as it begins to lighten. “Angel, please, the sun is coming up!”

“Just go.”

“I won’t!”

“What, do you think this is simple? You think there’s an easy answer? You can never understand what I’ve done! Now go!”

“You are not staying here. I won’t let you!” She says grabbing his arm.

“I said LEAVE!” He jerks his arm free of her grasp. In her anger and desperation Buffy punches him. He reacts by shoving her away from him roughly, making her fall face forward, hard to the ground. “Oh, my God...” he whispers, while crouching over her, he grabs her by the shoulders and turns her around to face him.

“No! No!” She cries. He grabs her roughly by the arms and holds her firmly.

“Am I a thing worth saving, huh? Am I a righteous man? The world wants me gone!”

“What about me? I love you so much... And I tried to make you go away... I killed you and it didn’t help.” She shoves him off of her and gets up. “And I hate it! I hate that it’s SO  hard... and that you can hurt me SO much. I know everything that you did, because you did it to me. Oh, God! I wish that I wished you dead. I don’t. I can’t.” Angel gets up now, too.

“Buffy, please. Just this once... let me be strong.”

“Strong is fighting! It’s hard, and it’s painful, and it’s every day. It’s what we have to do. And we can do it together.  But if you’re too much of a coward for that, then burn. If I can’t convince you that you belong in this world, then I don’t know what can. But do NOT expect me to watch. And DON’T expect me to mourn for you, because...”

 

            “Don’t you see? She should have let me burn, die, so I could have gone where I belong.”

            “Angel, you’ve been given a chance, more chances than most get in the time you’ve had so many, because she believes in you, because I do.

            “What?” He looked at me, for the first time, he really looked at me.

            “Angel, I’ve been watching you for sometime, I’ve been watching you hurt, kill, ache, burn, suffer, I’ve been watching it all. I couldn’t do anything, it wasn’t within my power t…”

            “Not within your power? You are the ultimate power aren’t you? The PTB? Of course this was in your power, what’s worth your trouble here? To save my life how many times?”

            “Angel, I can only do what others wish, I couldn’t save your soul, I tried, but even my powers are limited, it is hers that has saved you, it was your desire and love that brought your humanity back, that restored everything. I can give rewards but not if the world doesn’t want it, there are rules Angel, laws that limit even my powers over everything, and the world wanted you back. It showed you in the moments after… look.”

 

We are standing amidst an inexplicable snow fall. Buffy and Angel both look up at it coming down, lightly at first and gradually heavier. They are standing with the snowflakes swirling around them in the gentle morning breeze, and the ground around them starting to become white. Buffy walks to the edge of the hill and looks out at the town as the roofs on the houses below also start to become white. She turns to Angel, and they look at each other, stunned by this apparent miracle. We follow the memories down the street aglow with Christmas lights. It is deserted except for Buffy and Angel, who walk along hand-in-hand, still looking up at the snow as it comes down.

 

            “What the world did that?”

            “Angel, you cannot understand, but yes, it was not your time.”

            “Funny, my time was about 240 years prior to that, why did the world want that?”

            “Angel, there were mistakes, in time, things got out of control, with my predecessor, and your souls didn’t quite match up, it shouldn’t have been you there in that ally, you weren’t to born until much later. It shouldn’t have been you. I tried to fix it, with the curse, buying you time, and it worked. It brought you to her, you remember?”

            “Yes.”

 

“Who are you?”

“Let’s just say... I’m a friend.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I don’t want a friend.”

“I didn’t say I was yours.”

 

PART 21 (PG - Kisses)

 

“Angel, you keep thinking of the bad, but what about the good?”

“What good? The night before I was a monster? The night we spent together, the happiest night of my life? The night that killed Ms. Calendar, almost ended the world twice? That night?”

“Angel, there was other happiness.”

“Yeah…” he looked down, and he tried to remember. I helped him.

 

We are in her kitchen where Angel  takes off his jacket and his T-shirt. Buffy looks at him from behind and sees his tattoo. She brings over the first aid kit.

“Nice tattoo. It was lucky you came along. How did you happen to come along?”

“I live nearby. I was just out walking.”

“So, you weren’t following me? I just had this feeling you were.” She begins to bandage him.

“Why would I do that?” he says with a smile.

“You tell me. You’re the mystery guy that appears out of nowhere. I’m not saying I’m not happy about it tonight, but... if you are hanging around I’d like to know why.”

“Maybe I like you.”

“Maybe...”

 

“I shouldn’t have said that, I shouldn’t have stayed that night. It was wrong, a vampire and a slayer, what was I thinking? I should have told her.”

“But you did.”

“NO, I scared her.”

“But you didn’t, did you?”

“We’ll see about that…” he was beginning to know how to see what he wanted, how to show me.

 

“So! What’d you do all day?”

“Uh, I read a little.” Buffy looks over to her diary. It’s out of place. “And just thought about a lot of things. Buffy, I...”

“My diary? You read my diary? That is NOT okay! A diary is like a person’s most private place! I... You don’t even know what I was writing about! ‘Hunk’ can mean a lot of things, bad things. And, and when it says that your eyes are ‘penetrating’, I meant to write ‘bulgy’.”

“Buffy...”

“And ‘'A’ doesn’t stand for ‘Angel’ for that matter, it stands for... ‘Achmed’, a charming foreign exchange student, so that whole fantasy part has nothing to even do with you at all...”

“Your mother moved you diary when she came in to straighten up. I watched from the closet. I didn’t read it, I swear.” She just looks at him.

“Oh! She looks down, and realizing what she just said, says, “Oh.”

“I did a lot of thinking today. I really can’t be around you. Because when I am...”

“Hey, no big. Water... over the bridge, under the bridge...”

“When I am all I can ever think about is how badly I want to kiss you.”

“...over the dam... Kiss me?”

“I’m older than you, and this can’t ever... I better go.”

“H-how much older?”

“I should...” Buffy approaches him.

“...go... You said...” They kiss. They kiss again. They kiss passionately. She puts her arm around him. The kiss goes on for several moments. Angel suddenly pulls back and looks away.

“What? What is it? What’s wrong?” He turns to face her and growls. She sees he has his game face on and screams. He takes a last look at her and jumps out of the window. He slides down the roof and off onto the ground.

 

“SEE? I scared her. She should have killed me.”

“She tried, but she didn’t, she saw who you are, why don’t you choose to forget that?”

“I haven’t.”

“Show me.”

 

We move to the Bronze. Angel is in his game face and Buffy has her crossbow trained on him. Angel morphs back into his human form.

“C’mon! Don’t go soft on me now!” Buffy launches the bolt. It hits the wall next to him.

“Little wide.”

“Why? Why didn’t you just attack me when you had the chance? Was it a joke? To make me feel for you and then... I killed a lot of vampires. I’ve never hated one before.”

“Feels good, doesn’t it? Feels simple.”

“I invited you into my home and then you attacked my family!”

“Why not? I killed mine. I killed their friends... and their friend’s children... For a hundred years I offered ugly death to everyone I met, and I did it with a song in my heart.”

“What changed?”

“Fed on a girl about your age... beautiful... dumb as a post... but a favorite among her clan.”

“Clan?”

“Romani. Gypsies. The elders conjured the perfect punishment for me. They restored my soul.”

“What, they were all out of boils and blinding torment?”

“When you become a vampire the demon takes your body, but it doesn’t get your soul. That’s gone! No conscience, no remorse... It’s an easy way to live. You have no idea what it’s like to have done the things I’ve done... and to care. I haven’t fed on a living human being since that day.”

“So you started with my mom?”

“I didn’t bite her.”

“Then why didn’t you say something?”

“But I wanted to. I can walk like a man, but I’m not one. I wanted to kill you tonight.”

She puts down her cross bow and walks over to him, “Go ahead.” He stares at her. “Not as easy as it looks, is it?”

 

“See?”

“See what? That one time, she didn’t kill me?”

“There were other times, when she couldn’t because she knows in her heart, you belong to her.”

          

“You know what the worst part was, huh? Pretending that I loved you. If I’d known how easily you’d give it up, I wouldn’t have even bothered.”

“That doesn’t work anymore. You’re not Angel.”

“You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you? It doesn’t matter. The important thing is you made me the man I am today!” Buffy kicks him in the face. He blocks her next swing and punches her in the face and in the gut. He grabs her and swings her around to throw her, but her footing is good and she regains her balance. He kicks her in the face and this time she falls to the floor. Angelus grabs Buffy as she tries to get up and heaves her over onto her back again. She rolls around to her feet and comes at him. She swings, but he blocks and hits her instead. He follows up with a backhand punch and she hits the floor again.

“Not quittin’ on me already, are ya? Come on, Buffy. You know you want it, huh?”

She leaps up and kicks him in the face. He arches backward and then snaps forward. Buffy knees him in the chin and then delivers a series of punches to his gut. She ends with a punch to his face. He isn’t fazed, and lunges at her. She grabs his arm and diverts him into a display case. He crashes through the glass, but immediately straightens back up, breaking the top pane and the frame of the case as well. She kicks him in the face and again in the chest, and he staggers backward into a potted tree. She pulls out a stake and stands ready to finish the job. Angelus straightens up and faces her. Buffy doesn’t move, but instead lowers the stake and just stares at him.”

“You can’t do it. You can’t kill me.” Her anger takes over and she kicks him extremely hard in the groins and he moans in extreme pain. He collapses to his knees. Buffy turns her back on him and walks away.

“Give me time.”

 

“She should have.”

“You believe that?”

“Yes.”

“She did. Didn’t she? And it killed her more than you. There was a time when you were already dead to her, but then she had to do the unspeakable.”

 

PART 22 (PG – Unspeakable Things)

 

We’re in the mansion yet again, at a different time. Buffy holds up her sword and faces off with Angelus. He holds his own ready to fight her also. “You almost made it, Buff.”

“It’s not over yet.”

“My boy Acathla here is about to wake up. You’re going to Hell.”

“Save me a seat.” She thrusts at him with her sword, but he parries and swings around with a thrust of his own, which she also parries. They clash blades several times, and Buffy ducks a wide arcing swing from him. They face off again and trade one thrust and parry after another. Angelus tries another arcing swing from above, but she easily ducks and sidesteps out of the way. They face off again in front of Acathla and trade a few more blows. Angelus tries a swing from above a third time, and again Buffy ducks it and escapes to the side. She jumps up on a low table and swings at him again. He parries, and swings at her legs. She jumps up and over his blade and lands on the floor. He tries for her legs again, but she blocks his attempt with her blade. Again they trade several swings, and Angelus tries a wide swing again, and this time cuts her superficially on the arm. He tries to take advantage of her distraction and comes at her with his sword held high, intending to swing from above, but she drops to the floor and rolls out of the way, so he only manages to smash a bowl on a table behind her. Buffy kicks his legs out from under him and scrambles back up. He turns to face her still on his knees and swings three times in rapid succession, all of which she parries. He swings a fourth time, and this time Buffy knocks his sword into the table with her parry and pins it there. He backhand punches her in the face, and she spins away. He pulls the sword from the table and swings it hard at her. She blocks it with hers, and kicks him in the gut, making him double over. She jumps over him into the clear, and raises her sword to continue the fight. He thrusts, and she parries. Then he kicks her in her sword arm, and she stumbles back a step.

 

            “What is the sense in all this?” He looked at me, with anger in his eyes. He had to see it, I had to make him see, we were running out of time, he was running out of time.

            “I don’t know, you are in control of this Angel, your memories, your feelings, you are in control, you must make sense out of what your eyes need to see.”

 

Angelus has dropped his sword and holds his cut. Buffy does a high kick to his face, and he falls backward into Acathla and lands on his knees before her. Buffy raises her sword to dispatch Angelus, but stays herself when he suddenly gasps loudly and groans in pain. She sees his eyes glow bright red for an instant and go back dark. He looks up at her, but quickly collapses to the floor, crying. Buffy stares down at him, but still holds her sword raised behind her. Angel raises himself back up, his eyes heavy with tears, and looks into her eyes.

“Buffy? What’s going on?” She just looks at him, confused but not yet ready to lower the sword. He looks around a bit and gets to his feet. “Where are we? I-I don't remember.”

Finally Buffy realizes that the curse has worked, and she slowly lowers her sword. “Angel?”

You’re hurt.” She looks down at her wound and feels his gentle touch on her arm. She ignores her cut, looks back up at him and steps closer. He embraces her tightly.

“Oh, Buffy... God.” She still isn’t completely sure that it’s true, but accepts the hug. “I... I feel like I haven't seen you in months.” Finally she accepts it, closes her eyes and breathes out a deep sigh. “Oh, my God, everything’s so muddled. I...” He holds her even more closely.

“Oh, Buffy...” he says as he kisses her shoulder. She cries into his shoulder and hugs him back. Behind him Acathla lets out a low rumble. Buffy opens her eyes and stares in shock as Acathla’s face contorts. His brows angle down, his eyes glow red, his mouth opens grotesquely and the swirling vortex to Hell opens, small at first, but growing steadily in size and emanating a deep, red glow. Buffy lets go of Angel and looks up into his face.

“What’s happening?”

“Shh. Don’t worry about it.” She brushes her fingers over his lips and across his cheek. She lays her hand on his cheek and kisses him softly. He returns the kiss, and it becomes more passionate. Behind them the vortex has grown to about five feet across and continues to get larger. Buffy breaks off the kiss and looks deeply into Angel’s eyes.

“I love you.” She whispers to him.

“I love you.” She touches his lips with her fingers again.

“Close your eyes.” She nods reassuringly, and he closes his eyes. She tries hard not to start crying, and kisses him again gently. She steps back, draws back her sword and trusts it into his chest. His eyes whip open in surprise and pain, and a bright light emanates from the sword. She steps away from him. He reaches out to her and looks down at the sword thrust completely through him. He looks at her imploringly, completely bewildered by this turn of events. She can only stare at the sword protruding from his chest, and slowly steps further back.

“Buffy...”

Behind him the power of the sword begins to swirl into the vortex. Buffy steps further back, still looking only at the sword in his chest and not into his face. The vortex has enlarged to about twelve feet across, and the two energies begin to interact. Angel still holds out his hand to Buffy. When the vortex finally meets him it suddenly closes into Acathla’s mouth without so much as a spark, taking him with it. Buffy stares at the stone demon for a long moment before breaking into sobs and tears.

 

PART 23 (PG - Shattered)

 

“Angel, she broke with those moments. She broke inside, I felt it, it hurt me.”

“I know.” He took a deep breath, “That’s not the only time…”

 

“What’s with the dire?”

“Its uh, it’s nothing.”

“No, you have ‘something’ face.”

“I think we need to talk, but not now and not here.”

“No. No, if you have something to say, then say it.” He was quiet. “Angel, drop the cryptic. You’re scaring me.”

“I’ve been thinking... about our future. And the more I do, the more I feel like us, you and me being together, is unfair to you.”

“Is this about what the Mayor said? Because he was just trying to shake us up.”

“He was right.”

“No. No, he wasn’t. He’s the bad guy.”

“You deserve more. You deserve something outside of demons and darkness. You should be with someone who can take you into the light. Someone who can make love to you.”

“I don’t care about that.”

“You will. And children.”

“Children? Can you say jumping the gun? I kill my goldfish.”

“Today. But you have no idea how fast it goes, Buffy. Before you know it, you’ll want it all, a normal life.”

“I’ll never have a normal life.”

“Right, you’ll always be a Slayer. But that’s all the more reason why you should have a real relationship instead of this, this freak show.” She is stunned. “I didn’t mean that.”

“I’m gonna go.”

“I’m sorry. Buffy, you know how much I love you. It kills me to say this.”

“Then don’t. Who are you to tell me what’s right for me? You think I haven’t thought about this?”

“Have you, rationally?”

“No. No, of course not. I’m just some swoony little schoolgirl, right?”

“I’m trying to do what’s right here, okay? I’m trying to think with my head instead of my heart.”

“Heart? You have a heart? It isn’t even beating!”

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what? Don’t love you? I’m sorry. You know what? I didn’t know that I got a choice in that. I’m never gonna change. I can’t change. I want my life to be with you.”

“I don’t.”

“You don’t want to be with me? I can’t believe you’re breaking up with me.”

“It doesn’t mean that I don’t ...”

“How am I supposed to stay away from you?”

“I’m leaving. After the Ascension, after it’s finished with the Mayor and Faith. If we survive, I’ll go.” She looks at him.

 

 

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