SERIES : the Trilogy
PAIRING : Buffy/Angel, Spike/Dru
[ALSO minor pairings: Spike/Faith, Raith/Riley, Willow/Oz]
RATING: Althought a few parts
are R or PG14, the majority of this fic are NC17.
SPOILERS : I Will Remember You
& my fic the
Challenge, & the Aftermath
DISCLAIMER : I do not own these
characters.
=====================================================================
PART 1 (PG14 – A New Life)
“Well,
Mr. errr… Mr. Angel, it looks at though you can go home this afternoon, do you
need a ride? We can call a cab for you, if you need one.”
“I’ll
walk.”
“I don’t
recommend that, you lost a lot of blood, you were very weak and you still
haven’t told us how you managed to loose that blood.”
“What
can I say? I don’t remember, I was kind of passed out. I don’t have to go very
far, I’ll be fine walking, what time do I leave?”
“I really
can’t let you walk, sir.”
“He
won’t be doing that, doc, don’t worry.”
“BUFFY!”
She walked over to him, he was sitting on the bed. “I thought you had that…
stuff to take care of.”
“It’s
done, and you’re not being very good for the doctor.” He wrapped his hands
around her waist and his forehead fell to her stomach. She caressed his head.
“I’m
sorry doc, I just wanna get outta here.”
“I’ll
start the paperwork.” The doctor left and his hands slowly pulled her shirt up
and he began kissing her belly. He grazed her navel and moved his hands up her
back under her bra and he started to undo the hooks.
“Down
boy.” She tried to back away, but he kept her there.
“But…
it’s been so long…”
“Angel,
you waited 100 years, I think you wait a couple more hours.”
“Yeah, but making love to you is like breathing Buffy,
once you start, you never want to stop.”
“Oh…” she moaned as he moved his kisses upward and his
hands downward, “Angel…” she was breathless, “Angel, I can’t breathe.”
“What?” He stopped.
“Not really, figuratively, I mean…”
“I know what you mean.” She sat down next to him on the
bed and hooked her bra. “So… how’d the thing go?”
“No problem.”
“Cut the cryptic, details.”
“Oh, yeah, I found them, they seemed, well, they were
busy let’s say. I mean, I’m glad he’s moving on, you know, I felt bad just
dropping him, but I mean, it’s kind of fitting isn’t it?”
“What?”
“You know that she falls in love while something thinks
she’s me?”
“Yeah, I guess, what?”
“Oh, right, Faith switched our bodies, I told you this,
you know… she and Riley slept together, he thought it was me, and of course it
wasn’t, I mean she’s totally dif…”
“I would have known.” He looked at her and he smiled.
“I know.” The door opened and Joyce walked in. “Mom, what
are you doing here?”
“Buffy, I, I tried to find you, but I couldn’t and we
need to talk, privately.”
“Oh, okay.” She turned to her Angel. They hadn’t talked
about what happened yet, they hadn’t wanted to get into it in the hospital, so
they hadn’t. She looked at him, “I’ll see you in a couple, why don’t you get
dressed so when they come we can just take off.”
“K.”
“Buffy.” They sat in the waiting area, which was
deserted.
“Mom, what’s up?”
“Buffy, I just… I think you should come home.”
“What? I’m fine Mom, going to classes, keeping up with
the sacred duty and I have time to sp…”
“Buffy, you’re not living at college anymore, you’ve been
living there.”
“Mom, I love Angel, I understand you have your
reservations bu…”
“Buffy, this boy has only caused you pain from the moment
you met him.”
“Mom, this boy is a man and he’s my fiancé, and we’re
going to get married and you might as well deal with that. There’s nothing you
can do about it, Mom, I love Angel, and we’re going to be together.”
“Buffy, he changed his mind before, I just don’t want to
see you…”
“Mom, you made him change his mind before, he never would
have left, if it hadn’t bee…”
“Buffy, that’s not true.” She turned around and he was
standing in the doorway, dressed. “Buffy I was already thinking that, your Mom
just made me say it out loud.”
“No, she did this, she never liked you, not even before
she knew you, she never liked anyone I brought to the house.”
“That’s not true, I liked Willow and Xander.”
“Oh please Mom, you thought we were doing drugs… you
never trust me to make my own decisions, just because your marriage failed
doesn’t mean I’m doomed. I never paid attention to you and dad anyway.”
“Buffy, you don’t mean to say this, let’s go back to the
room and get my stuff, you need to cool down, come on.” He walked to her and
took her hand. “Let’s go, Buffy, you don’t mean these things.”
“No, I do. Mom, I’m not a little girl, I’m in college and
I’ve grown up a lot, I’m not the same dumb naïve fifteen year old in LA, Mom,
I’ve killed vampires and demons and seen them come back to life, I’ve stopped
the end of the world like four times, I’m not some stupid kid. Why can’t you
see?”
“Cause you’re still only 20 Buffy, and that’s young, you
don’t know everything about love, you don’t know everything about life, you’re
a child and you shouldn’t be getting married, even to the Pope himself, you are
just a child. I got married when I was 20 and I made a mistake…”
“A mistake? I’m a mistake? Well, that explains a lot Mom.
My kid will never feel like a mistake, I’m going to love this child and she
will never think that.”
“Your child? Buffy, what are you saying?” Oh no! She had
said it, she turned to Angel and looked into his eyes.
Her eyes looked up at his and he knew, Buffy was
pregnant. She was going to have his child. It made more sense, why Tara had
been so insistent on his return. She was going to have a child, they were going
to. She was worried, he could see, she hadn’t meant to… He smiled at her and
she smiled back. He pulled her to him and he leaned over and hugged her. “A
baby?” he whispered into her ear.
She whispered back, “A baby. Our baby.”
“Buffy! What are you saying?” She turned to look at her
mother.
“Mom, I’m pregnant. Spare me the lectures, I’m happy and
if you can’t be happy for me, then don’t call me anymore.”
“Buffy? Buffy, I just… I’ve always wanted what’s best for
you, I wanted you to be happy and loved and I wanted you to have a life.” Buffy
let go of Angel and went to her Mom.
“I have that now Mom. I am loved, I am happy, I have a
life separate from slaying, I have a happy life, a wonderful one, that I don’t
want to give up.”
“Okay.” Her mom went over to Angel, “Welcome to the
family Angel.”
“Thanks Mrs. Summers.”
“Joyce, please.”
“Joyce, thank you.” She gave him a hug and it took him by
surprise. “I’ll take good care of her, I promise, and this time, nothing can
screw it up.”
“I believe you.”
PART 2 (NC17 – New Lover’s)
“Oh!”
She screamed, he was moving, twisting, turning, reaching inside her. “Oh GOD!”
Her nails pressed into his skin on his back and it made him move faster. He was
in and out, going deeper every time. She thrust herself around and flipped him
over.
“Are we
going to play?” He asked.
“Yeah,
we’re playing.” She was riding him, hard. He was panting, begging for more. She
leaned back and his hands found her breasts and kneaded them, toying with them.
Her hair flew back and tickled his knees, which made him squirm inside her.
“We’re definitely playing.”
“Oh
yeah!” He twisted suddenly and flipped her over and thrust inside, hard.
“UHH!”
She was hot, wet, she was panting, sweating, her skin was on fire. She saw the
stars and with them came the white surge of warmth and he collapsed onto her.
He put his head down on her shoulder and they lay there, breathing, catching up
with the emotions.
“God,
Riley… you’re amazing, more so in my own body.”
“Yeah?”
“Oh
yeah. Riley… I… this is hard.”
“It was,
it will be again, give me a few minutes.”
“No, I
mean, well that’s good, but I… I want to tell you… I want to say that I… I love
you.”
He
raised his head and looked at her. She was frightened, she’d never said that
before. She hadn’t meant to say it, but, she just had to. He had to know she
wasn’t just using him. “You what?”
“I love
you. It’s why I came back. I mean, to steal you from Buffy, but not because of
her, because of me. I know you didn’t know what you were doing, who you told ‘I
love you’ to, but it was me, and I do too.”
“Faith?
I… I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t
say anything, I just wanted you to know.”
He
looked at his girl. She was even more beautiful as she was sitting in sweat
pants and a tank top on the couch. She was reading. He didn’t want to interrupt
her, well he did, but he couldn’t. He was just glad to have a second chance. A
chance to do something right.
“You
know, you look so pretty like that.”
“I’m
reading. That constitutes pretty?”
“Cordelia,
you’d be pretty covered in slime.”
“Hey, I’ve
been before, and it was NOT pretty.” He smiled at her. “You know, you’re over
there, sitting all alone and I’m all alone and if I’m so pretty, why don’t you
come over here? You can rub my feet.” He stood up and walked over to her, she
lifted her legs and he slid under them and began rubbing her legs.
“Doyle?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m so
glad you’re back, I’m so glad we can use Buffy’s house while Joyce is at
Giles’.”
“Me
too.”
“Hold me
Doyle.”
“Okay…”
“NO HOLD
ME!” He took her head and she squirmed under the pain. She looked up at him,
“Doyle, there’s trouble.”
“Not
exactly a news flash, there’s always trouble.”
PART 3 (R – Sweet Love)
“Love?”
“Mmmm?”
“You
were going to kill him for me?”
“Yes
Spike, I was, I did, I don’t know what happened. Sorry.”
“It’s
okay pet. We have another way.”
They
held hands and got to the car, top down and just drove. The air flew through
her hair, she was so beautiful, she was glowing, beaming.
“Buffy?”
“Yeah?”
“I love
you.”
“I know.
I love you too.”
“We need
to talk.”
“Yes,
but not now, let’s just drive.” She inched over to him on the seat and rested
her head on his shoulder. He moved his arm around her and rested his hand on
her stomach, where his child growing. He never thought he would ever have
children and now he could. He drove around a while and when they got back to
the apartment, she was asleep with her head in his lap. He picked her up and
carried her inside and placed her on the bed.
“Angel?”
“Oh, I
didn’t want to wake you.”
“Angel,
make love to me.”
“Buffy,
do you think we should, with the baby?”
“Angel,
make love to me.” She took his hand and pulled him to her. He lowered his mouth
to hers and was swept away by the taste of her. She leaned back on the bed,
resting her body on her elbows and he straddled her. He took his shirt off and
went down and kissed her passionately. She pushed him up again and unbuttoned
his pants. He stood up and she went with him and she took her shirt off. In a
second, they were naked and they slipped under the sheets on the bed. She
kissed him, touching the tip of his tongue with her own, driving him crazy. He
knew she knew it drove him mad, mad with need to be with her.
She
looked over at him, and the light was streaming in through the window on him,
he was an angel. She saw the scar on his neck that matched her own and she
kissed it gently. He rolled on top of her, forging his way into her body. She
moaned as he grinded against her, moving, twisting, passionate kisses. He
pressed on into her core.
“Are you
okay Buffy?”
“Uh
huh.” She stopped concentrating so much on him and just let the sensations wash
over her. It took her back to the dreams she’d had, feeling what she saw. She
rolled over and began kissing his chest, moving down further, licking and
teasing. He had his hand around her head, massaging her, touching her hair.
“Buffy…”
he said.
He
couldn’t stand it. He had been inside, now he wasn’t, he needed to be there. He
wanted to be. He pulled her mouth to his and she impaled herself on him and he
rolled her again and pushed deeper. She looked into his eyes, and she wrapped
her legs around his waist as she’d done before, and she pulled him in. “Uhhh,
oh Buffy…” she wrapped her arms around his chest and held on tightly. His body
took over the rhythm and she pressed up against him. The explosion came and he
fell on top of her, panting, gasping for air. He buried his head in her
shoulder. Their bodies relaxed a bit and he just laid there, still inside.
“Are you
okay?”
“Angel,
I’m fine, I’m perfect.”
“You
are.” He went to roll next to her, but she held him there.
“Just
stay here, with me.”
“I’m not
going anywhere.”
“No,
just stay right here.” He looked into her eyes, he could see, she was thinking
about before, what they had to talk about, and she didn’t want to ruin the
moment, the rush of sensations, emotions, the feeling of being filled
completely.
“Okay.”
He put his head back down and she had her hands on his back, moving them
around. He kissed her gently on the neck and remembered a time when that would
have meant so much more. He began remembering the scenes, the consequences of a
wish he was glad had been taken away. They remained interlocked for some time
after that, just breathing, feeling.
“Doyle,
we have to find Angel, he should know what I saw. I wonder where he is.”
“The
doctor said he went home.”
“Let’s
go.”
“Cordelia?
He’s been in the hospital for two weeks, I doubt they are having tea and
crackers.”
“Right.
Well, the vision isn’t that important, it can wait a day, right?”
“We’ll
head there after dark.”
“Okay.”
PART 4 (NC17 – Silence & Passion)
Silence.
Between him and Buffy, silence communicated so much more than words some times.
He was lying on top of her, in her and everything was just silent, quiet, calm.
He knew what she was thinking about, and she knew what he was thinking.
“Angel?”
her voice startled him.
“Yes?”
“I have
to pee.” He started laughing and rolled next to her. She stood up and he
marveled at her body. She was unique, perfect. To think that he had found
someone that fit so perfectly against him. When she was there, he felt
complete. She came back.
“Why
didn’t you tell me my hair was a rat trap?”
“I
didn’t notice.”
“Right.
It just escaped your noticing.”
“Buffy,
I’ve told you before, you could be covered in slime and you’d still be
beautiful to me.” She squirmed under the covers and pressed herself against
him, he wrapped his arm around her.
“So…”
“So…”
“Should
we do this here, or should we get dressed.”
“I don’t
think we need to be dressed. EVER!”
“Angel,
we will eventually, we can’t just forget the whole sacred duty thing.”
“I
know.” Silence. “Buffy, I’m… I’m sorry.”
“I know.
Angel, I was so scared. You were dying. Don’t ever do that again.”
“Buffy,
I… I saw Tara again.”
“What?”
“I… I
was with her, somewhere, I don’t know where. She showed me what was happening,
I saw you crying. I hurt you so much, so much pain. I asked her to erase the
past two years.”
“Angel?
How could you?”
“She
said that it’s not always better. Buffy…”
“Angel,
didn’t you learn the first time?”
“Let me
finish. We… she showed me, took me to all these places, to where I drank from
you, when we first met, when we were fighting in the department store, and with
Acathla, I saw everything Buffy, when I came back from hell, watching
everything, like… like a fly on the wall… Buffy, I saw the fear in your eyes,
when I didn’t stop drinking, I was looking into your eyes Buffy, I… I thought
it would have been better if I hadn’t come back. I wished for it. She made it happen.”
“What?”
“I guess
she really didn’t MAKE it happen, but she showed me what would have happened,
Buffy, it was horrible.”
“What?”
“You
were with Spike, making love to him, and I had to watch. Then, you were drunk
and you went to the Bronze and…” he choked, silent.
“Angel?
Tell me.”
“You
killed Willow and Oz and Xander, and Cordelia.”
“What?
Was I a… a vampire?”
“No.”
“What?
How is that… I wouldn’t…”
“Buffy,
you were drunk, depressed and you beat Willow up and Spike finished her off, and
you killed Oz and Xander with an axe.”
“How?
What?”
“Then,
he drank from you Buffy, and he cut his wrist and gave you the choice, the one
we didn’t have. I think you decided not to, but then your head fell on his
wrist, and you began to drink. He buried you and brought your mom and you
killed her, Buffy, it was awful. That’s when… Buffy, I never thought about it
that way, never thought what would have happened, I just figured you would have
been better off, but I was wrong. I see that now, I came back to you Buffy, I’m
sorry. It’s so hard for me. I had given up hope of ever being normal again, and
now we’re having a baby.” Silence.
“Angel,
why’d you do it?”
“Do
what?”
“Kiss
her.” Silence.The pain in her voice cut into him. How could he explain it, how
could he tell her about before? The girls? “Angel? I don’t care what the answer
is, I just want one. How could you? Was it magic? Like what she did with Giles
to get him to tell you the secret to awaken Acathla? Was that it?”
He would
have loved to say yes, to lie, but he couldn’t. “No, it wasn’t magic… I knew it
was her.”
“Oh.”
“Buffy,
I… she has a part of me inside her, she always will, she has my blood, I have
hers. That’s all, it’s just perverse attraction I suppose. It means nothing. I
don’t love her, I don’t care about her.”
“It’s
because you can do things with her, you can’t with me.”
“What?”
She was figuring it out, he didn’t want to have to explain, but he feared he
would have to.
“You
can… you can do things to her, things you would never want with me.” Silence.
“I’m right, aren’t I? That’s why you’re so quiet. I’m right. You can…”
“Buffy,
do we have to get into this?”
“Angel,
I want to know, how do you know what you can do until you talk to me about it.”
“Buffy,
I’ve done the bad girl thing, we’ve talked about it, I love you and I would
never dream of doing anything to you that would hurt you.”
“Do you
want to hurt me?”
“What?
How can you ask me that? Of course I don’t, I never want to hurt you.”
“I
meant, I a good way.”
“What?
Buffy, let’s not.” He withdrew his arm from around her, and he sat up on the
edge of the bed. He couldn’t explain this to her, how could he? There were some
things he just didn’t ever want to say, to anyone.
“Angel…”
she kneeled behind him and wrapped her hands around his neck and slid them down
to his stomach. His stomach was so muscular, his whole body was, years of
fighting had paid off. Although he probably had been this perfect even before
he was changed. She kissed his shoulders and his neck and she leaned over him
to kiss his cheek. He didn’t respond. “Angel, I know you don’t want to talk
about it, but how can move past it, if we don’t talk?”
“You
want to know about me? Buffy, before I was changed, I hurt people, I liked it.
I loved getting into brawls, then I would pick up some young girl in a bar and
go some where with her and we’d have sex. Innocent girls, sometimes teenagers,
Buffy, I’d tell them I loved them and we’d have sex and then I’d leave them
there with bruises. Is that what you want to know? There it is!”
“Angel,
that was then. Things change. What do you feel now? I don’t care what you were
like before. Do you wanna know what I was like? Before I learned about my
destiny, I was such a bitch, I was like Cordelia. I was a cheerleader and if
you didn’t buy the right type of clothes, you weren’t even in my world.”
“It’s
not the same as beating up innocent girls during sex.”
“Angel,
it may not be the same, but we both changed. We grew up. That guy would have never
thought about having children, or getting married. You do. You’ve changed,
things they liked, you don’t, so what do you want now? You’re not him, not
anymore. And you’re not Angelus either, so don’t even bring that up.”
“Buffy…”
“Angel,
I thought you were at first, I was confused, but then I realized you’re not the
same, you’re not him, he was hateful and mean, and his eyes had anger in them.”
She climbed around and sat in his lap, with her legs wrapping around him,
looking into his eyes. “You want to know what I see in your eyes? I see love,
and kindness and I see the man I want to spend forever with. He can’t even
compare. You’re so much more than that, so much more than you think you are.”
Her lips
brushed his gently and his arm wrapped around her. “Angel, there are plenty of
people in the world, good people, who like it rou…” He put his finger up to her
mouth. She understood, she was offering. Was she?
“Shhh…
don’t say it Buffy, please don’t say it.” Silence. She stared into his eyes
with fire and desire and he knew.
She met
his eyes and she glared into them. Silence. She knew it was coming, and she was
ready. Quickly, he jerked her around and flung her on the bed, her arms pinned
above her head. He leaned down and forced his tongue into her mouth, she pushed
against it with her own, and bit his lip lightly. He held her arms there while
he moved down and nibbled on her breasts slightly. She wiggled up and he made
contact with her thighs before she squirmed out from underneath him and jumped
off the bed. He chased after her and he caught up with her in the kitchen and
he threw her up on the counter and bent down to take advantage of her delights.
She giggled, “Angel…” and then jumped up, standing on the counter and jumped
down to the floor, he chased after her and pinned her into the door jam of the
bedroom. He got her hands above her head again and moved in for a kiss. She
slipped under her again and he grabbed her and they slammed into the wall.
He looked for her eyes, he had to find them, he wanted to
make sure she was okay, they had slammed into the wall harder than he’d
expected. He looked into her eyes, and she was okay, her chest was heaving,
gasping for air and he suckled her nipples ferociously as she squirmed around.
She jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist and he dipped into her
warmth a little. He carried her to the bed and threw her onto it, and she
looked at him with a hunger in her eyes, he’d never seen before. He jumped on
top of her and forced himself inside. He pushed hard, deep and she responded,
arching her back to allow him further entry. He welcomed the invitation and she
scratched at his back as he pressed on, harder, deeper.
She was panting, begging for air, but he was all the air
she needed. She felt him pushing inside, reaching into her. She tightened
around him, squeezed him and he groaned and pushed on, harder. She lifted her
pelvis up toward him and he hadn’t been expecting it and he jolted inside,
deeper than he’d ever been. She felt it, it was almost painful,she smiled and
growled softly. He paused for a minute.
“Buffy?” He wasn’t sure what to do, he didn’t want to
stop, but he wasn’t sure what she had said, had he hurt her? He knew they were
the closest they’d ever been, he felt it, felt her around him more than ever.
She locked her legs around him and he continued, she was okay. He pushed harder
and she bit into his shoulder. He moved his mouth down to hers and forced his
tongue in, trying to go to the same place the rest of him was. She responded
wildly, with passion and hunger he’d never imagined she could possess.
He felt so good inside, so perfect, she relaxed as the
rush came and the motion slowed. He laid on top of her for a few minutes,
breathing. She could feel his heartbeat on her bare chest, it was loud. It was
erotic. She was mad with desire for him again. She didn’t want to stop, but she
couldn’t breathe, so she lay under him, twisting slightly and he moaned. She
relaxed her muscles around him and she rolled him over to be on top and she
just put her head down and listened to his heart slowing to normal. He was
sweaty, she could smell it, feel it under her skin. Silence stretched seemingly
into forever between them. Stretched on into the afternoon. Silence.