SERIES : the Squall
PAIRING : Buffy/Angel
RATING THESE PARTS : PG14
OVERALL RATING : PG is lowest, but highest is NC17
SPOILERS : I Will Remember You
DISCLAIMER : I do not own these
characters.
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PART 5
(PG - Research)
He didn’t know what to think. Who
was this guy? An ex-boyfriend, he was sure. Buffy had mentioned a bad
relationship before, but why? She was so reluctant to give herself over to him
completely. Like she felt guilty about it, like she didn’t deserve happiness.
Why? Why would she feel that way? He had felt she was holding something back
from the very beginning, physically and emotionally. He remembered when he had
been with Faith, or when Faith was in Buffy’s body and he had been with her.
She used her body so much more, muscles that he had never felt when he was with
Buffy in her own body. He felt power and heat that she had never given him. It
was the same body, same capabilities, so why had Buffy never used them? Why did
she hold so much back? Was she afraid of hurting him? Was she afraid of
something else? He didn’t want to look back, but he wanted to see him again,
see what he was looking at. He turned.
“So Angel? Where are you from?”
“Originally?”
“Angel lives in LA, now Riley. So
you said Cordy had a vision, I thought that was your friend Doyle’s thing, what
happened?”
“Doyle died.”
“What? I’m so sorry. What happened?”
“He died to save others, he wouldn’t
let me stop it, he punched me and I fell, and he died... I don’t want to go
into it, he died, and Cordy got his visions from the PTB.”
“The huh?”
“The Powers That Be, the ones that
send the visions.”
“Oh. Well...” she looked at him, his
eyes, so full of pain, she stopped and walked over to him and looked into his
eyes, they were so brown, so intense. “I’m sorry Angel.”
“I know. Thanks, I miss him.”
The door opened and the three walked
in. Willow took her computer from Angel and started hooking it up. “Did you
have any trouble getting it Angel, I forgot about the having to be invi... I
mean, the security in the building, you know they don’t like people just
walking in uninvited without a student.”
“No, the security wasn’t a problem,
I had the key, and Buffy was there.”
“What security?” Riley asked.
“The security they’ve gotten, I mean
the double murder and all in the dorms, I told you about the added security
Riley, I’m sure of it.”
“I don’t remember there ever being
security.”
“You don’t come over that much
Riley.” She had to change the subject. “So Willow, what are we looking for?”
“Anything having to do with mass
production or gatherings of demons. Chances are it’s demons and not vampires,
cause Cordy knows a vampire when she sees one, and she said demon. Now, we can
cross reference demons with risings, ascensions, you know, hellmouthy things.”
“Good. She said something about a
cave? Where?”
“I don’t know, if there are a lot of
details, she doesn’t remember them, it’s sketchy.”
“I guess. Does she know what kind of
demon?”
“I’ll call.”
“Angel Investigations. We help the
hopeless.”
“It’s me, anything?”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s the
Morha demon. Only them from what I saw Angel.”
“You know where the cave is? What it
looked like?”
“No, only that it looked cold.”
“What do you mean?”
“I could see Buffy’s breath.”
“Oh. Okay, is that it?”
“Pretty much.”
“How’s things?”
“Good, quiet, a little vampire last
night on the way home, but I threw a little holy water at him and he ran. Actually
I threw a whole bottle at him, he was mad, but burned, so he left.”
“Yeah, but now’s he probably mad.”
“You think?”
“I would be. Be careful, pack a
stake in that purse of yours, maybe stick close to Wesley.”
“Okay, how are you?”
“I’m... I’ve been better, but I’m
okay.”
“As long as you’re not all grrr
again. I mean, we’ve been there already.”
“I know Cordelia, nothing’s going to
happen, it can’t. Stay safe, and I’ll call tomorrow. I’m at Giles’ in case you
need me for anything.”
“Got it. ‘Night.”
“’Night.”
She couldn’t stand knowing how much
he was hurting. In six months of working for him, she knew when he was hurting
and he was hurting bad. Worse than after Thanksgiving in fact and she wondered
what had happened. She knew Buffy had a new boyfriend, Willow and her kept
correspondence so as to know how they could help their friends. He was her
friend, she loved him. He was family and she didn’t want to see him hurting.
She could count on him, she trusted him, even though he had tried to kill her a
couple times, what friend didn’t want to kill the other at some point? She
forgave him his faults and he forgave her hers. It was their way. Just then,
she fell to the ground clutching her head. When the pain had subsided, she sat
up, “OH NO!”
PART 6
(PG14 - Impending Doom)
“Morha demons, I know them. They are
strong, they see all.”
“How so?”
Just then the door opened, “Honey,
I’m home.” Spike walked in. “Buff! What’s cookin’? See you got your old toy and
your new toy here, that’s great, that’s really great. Now all we need is Dru
and we’ll have a party.”
“Funny Spike, I don’t see her
banging down your door. Guess she’s rather have a chaos demon than your sorry
butt, of course I can’t say as I blame her, since you can’t even bite anymore,”
Buffy walked up to him and pushed him into the wall, and leaned on him, “I
mean, what would she want with you? She’d probably kill you anyway, oh yeah,
that’s right, didn’t you say she didn’t even try to kill you? You weren’t even
worth her time, and you’re not worth mine. You’re unwelcome here Spike. We
shouldn’t have even helped you as long as we have.”
“Tsk, tsk, Buffy, I know things you
don’t... I wouldn’t dismiss me just yet.”
“SPIKE!” Willow ran over to him and
grabbed his ear and pulled it.
“OW! That bloody hurts! Stop it!”
She dragged him into the bathroom and closed the door.
“You say anything about what Angel
told us and I will stake you myself Spike. That’s private and she doesn’t need
to know.”
“Well then maybe he should learn who
he can trust.”
“Don’t you have any compassion at
all? In your own sick and twisted mind don’t you have an ounce of compassion or
sympathy at all? You must, I believe you genuinely loved Drusilla, can’t you
find that last ounce of humanity in you to just spare Buffy the agony of this?”
“No I can’t Willow.”
“Fine, I’ll just call Riley in here
and he can ship you back to the Initiative, where you can waste away until you
die of famine or disease or until they decide to see how much holy water it
would take to wear away your skin. Oh RILEY?!”
“Fine, I’ll be quiet. Just
don’t let him push me around.”
“Who?”
“Angel.”
“OH, scared of the big and bad
Angel? Interesting. Very interesting.” He couldn’t resist. She was so cute when
she was pensive, he dove at her mouth. Touching the tip of her warm tongue with
his own. He kissed her lightly at first, but she responded and he kissed her
more deeply, moving his hand through her fiery hair. She moved her hands under
his red shirt and the kiss was amazing. It had been so long, well not that long
really, it had only been four months since he had been engaged, but this was
willing, not magical.
It startled her at first. She hadn’t
been expecting it, it was the last thing she thought about, but the first thing
she wanted. There was sparkage, a mix of hatred and adoration, obsession and
curiosity, passion and mystery. He was an experienced kisser, he was very good
with his mouth, years of practice. He was probably an even better lover. What was
she thinking? She pulled away, withdrawing her hands from around his waist.
“We shouldn’t. I have research.” She
opened the door and left, wiping her mouth off.
Buffy and Angel both looked at her,
curious as to what happened in the bathroom, although for different reasons.
Buffy thought Spike was going to spill the true nature of Angel’s species, and
Angel thought he was going to tell Buffy about Thanksgiving. Willow looked at
them both, “No problem.”
She resumed her post in front of the
computer. Trying to get herself over the exhilaration that was surging through
her body. She hoped no one noticed. Spike had not yet come out of the bathroom.
This was bad. He had thought he
would one day have his way with her, but he not been serious. Or had he? He wanted her. Was it because it had
been so long? Or was it something more? He had always thought she was cute,
pretty, beautiful even. He reminded him of Britany. He had not thought about
that name in a long time, a hundred years or more. She had been semi-red haired
and beautiful, curves in all the right places, the kind that drove men of his
standing to want her and men of higher standing to worship her. He had done
both and then he had killed her. He shook it off, a single tear. He looked into
the mirror and he smashed his hand into it.
This was bad, no this was worse,
this was doomed.
PART 7
(PG - Temptations I)
The gang worked through the day,
classes were missed. That night, a cell phone rang.
“Lilac, go ahead.” He said okay a
few times and then hung up. “Buffy, I have to go, the Initiative, we have a
code 19.”
“What the hell’s a code 19?”
“It’s classified, nothing too risky
though, I’ll stop by later, here or at your room?”
“Probably here.” He kissed her
gently, as she had refused his offers of more for the past twelve hours. “Be
careful Riley.”
“Always.”
“That was cold.” Spike said as she
sat down across from him.
“What are you talking about?”
“A little peck, I mean he’s your
lover right?”
“Spike, you are the most insensitive
person on the face on the Earth and I hope you rot in hell.”
“Well, that’s the point isn’t it?
Have fun here, pillage, murder, maim, then pay for it with eternal damnation?
Like it was my fault, it was all his fault, blame him for me.” He pointed at
Angel.
Angel looked up from his book,
“What? What’d I do?”
“You made me the man I am today.”
“No, Dru did.”
“Yeah, but you carried me to her. I
remember, maybe not much, but I remember.”
“I’m sorry, how many times do I have
to apologize for things?”
“Hey, not to me mate, I mean I was
perfectly happy until you stole my girlfriend and ran us out of town. Of course
then I come back to finish you both off, and then I get this chip in my head,
and now I’m just as helpless as a puppy, so I guess everything is your fault.”
“Spike, your girlfriend left you
because you weren’t good enough. You got the chip in your head because you
didn’t know how to stop when you were ahead and as far as him being responsible
for your current condition, she did it, not him. Okay, can we move on? We have
impending doom coming up and I’d like to stop it before finals.” Buffy stood up
and went over to Willow. “Anything?”
“Not much, but I think if I had my
other modem, I could download things a little quicker, I’m going to go get it,
I could use the air, the air’s thick in here.”
“I know what you mean, let me come
with you, I don’t want you going alone.”
“No, Buffy, you have to stay here
and keep the peace, and the information search, and just in case Riley comes
by...”
“I’ll go!” Spike jumped up off the
couch. “I’ll make sure Red stays safe.”
“Gee Spike, what’ll you do, feed her
to the first hungry vamp that walks by?”
“Now, if I did that, how long would
I live once you found me?”
“Not long.”
“And if I was going to kill one of
your friends, giving that I could only pick one, I’d have to be one of your
boy-toys although I’m not really sure which one I’d pick. I mean visual effects
I’d have to go with blondie, all that blood would be pretty, but I couldn’t hit
him, so I’d have to go with Angelus over there.” Buffy whipped out a stake and
pushed it gently into his chest.
“I wouldn’t tempt me.”
“Okay, okay, let’s go Red!”
“Great. We’ll be back.”
She was trying to sustain her
breathing, slow, her heart was racing and she was trying to calm herself down.
But he was walking very close to her and she could sense him there.
“You know Red, I can hear your
heartbeat, so you might as well not even try.”
“What? What are you talking about?”
He grabbed her arm and spun her around.
“I can hear your heartbeat pounding,
so don’t bother trying to modify it by taking shallow breaths, depleting
yourself of oxygen won’t help very much, it’ll just kill off brain cells.”
“Whatever Spike.” She started to
walk away but he wrapped his hand around her waist and pulled her to him. His
hand was so big, and strong. She looked into his eyes, he looked into hers and
smiled.
“You know, if I had a heartbeat,
it’d be racing too.” He glanced behind her and she watched his face change. He
let go and moved in front of her. “Stay here.” She turned around and saw two
vampires approaching. “I don’t suppose you...” she grabbed a stake from her
jacket pocket and threw it to him and he caught at it. He fought well, she
couldn’t deny that, and there was something about watching him kick butt that
just... what was she thinking?
The two vamps were dusted within a
matter of minutes and he turned back to her. “Takes care of that, now where
were we?” He approached her and went to grab her waist but she moved out to the
left and avoided him and continued on her way.
“Let’s just get my modem and get
back to Giles’.”
PART 8
(PG14 - Temptations II)
They were alone, a bad place to be
for them. A place that lead to heartache and pain and loss of control. He
looked at her sitting in the couch, legs curled up under her tiny body. She
looked so fragile, but she wasn’t, not physically anyway. She was reading, her
hair around her face. She looked so... so yummy in those pants. He smiled at
the thought of her saying that in bed with him. He couldn’t allow his mind to
go that way. He looked back to his book.
She looked at him. She knew he had
been looking. His brow had that intent something look about it. She knew that
look, but it wasn’t her something to be concerned with anymore, he wanted it that
way. It killed her to admit that he was right, they couldn’t be together, for
several reasons. But they had been good before the Prom, kissing only, she had
even slept over one night after patrolling and nothing happened. It was their
imagination that led to problems. Thinking too much about the one night they
had spent together. That’s all, one night, which made her dizzy and sad all at
once. If that were all she would ever know of passion, she would surely die.
She looked back at the book, but the words would not focus.
He put the book down angrily and got
up. She looked up for a second and then focused on her book. He was glad, he
went to the refrigerator, she shouldn’t see him. He was hungry, not by choice,
if it was a choice thing he would never touch it again, but he had to, in order
to sustain life. Sometimes his own habits sickened him. As he drank, he thought
of a time when he had taken in Buffy’s life. He didn’t like to admit he thought
about it, but he did. It had been one of the best experiences of his life, in
the worst way possible. Ordinarily, any vampire would have been happy to take a
Slayer, but not his slayer. He couldn’t explain it to himself, it had been
intimate and special and it had tasted so sweet.
“Angel?” He spun around and she was
standing there.
“Buffy, what?” He put the cup back
on the shelf.
“I was thinking, are Cordy’s visions
real or possible.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, my dreams before were things
that might have happened, like Drusilla killing you or the Master rising, are
hers that way, or are they things that have happened or are going to happen?”
“They are sure things, from our
experience, but we’ve never had a chance to try and change them. I mean she
hasn’t seen you dead, Doyle saw you fighting that’s when I came back before. So
I would say they are things that are going to happen that we need to prepare
for.”
“But how do we prepare for a
thousand demons?” He was embarrassed, she could tell, he was always quiet when
it came to vampire matters. These being cuts, blood, fangs... anything having
to do with being ‘undead.’ Which was a term she never understood, how can
someone be undead? You can’t be unpregnant, you either are or you’re not.
Anyway, he had been drinking and she had interrupted. “A thousand demons...
wait a minute!” She left him and ran to the books, flipping a few pages back
and a couple forward. “AH-HA!”
“What?”
“This...” she said, reading from the
text, “ ‘A thousand years after every ascension comes the March of A Thousand,
known as the End of Days. Demons carrying eternity will march upon the Earth,
strong and justified in their mission, will glide upon the ice and the end of
days will come.’ That’s what it says, the March of A Thousand, End of Days,
sounds fun, ice? Seems odd to be happening in California, but weirder things
have happened.”
“A thousand years though, I may be
old, but it has not been a thousand years since the Mayor.”
“Maybe it’s not that ascension, maybe there was another
one.” She said as he approached her, and read over her shoulder. Her hair was
pulled over to the side and he inhaled the aroma of her sweet skin. She smelled
so good, his hands fell from his hips and one brushed her thigh. He quickly put
his hands in his pockets. She turned around, she was so close but backed up
quickly.
“The only other one on record was
like three thousand ago.” He said, returning to the subject.
“Maybe there was another March of A
Thousand then, maybe we start there. But the years don’t really match,
unless...”
“What?”
“Well, you were in hell for like a
hundred years, there, but three months
here, so maybe it’s on hell time, given it’s the Hellmouth. Yes?”
“Makes sense. So time is weird,
nothing new there.”
“Good, when Willow gets back, we’ll
have her start searches on these things, and we might have better luck in the
books now we have some sense of what we’re looking for. Once Giles gets back
from the store, he might have some suggestions.”
“Right. Buffy, how does Riley know
about the slayage thing?”
“He’s a commando, it’s a government
agency that fights demons, vampires, you know the scum of the underworld. They
did Spike in, put the chip in his head, Riley says it gives ‘intense
neurological pain’ every time he tries to hurt an innocent person. So he’s
helped us out a couple times, other wise he’s just a big pain in the ass, my
ass.”
Speaking of that... he looked at her
as she walked toward the window, she was exquisite in those pants, the burgundy
color was perfect with the sweater she had on.
“Angel, I think maybe we should talk
about Riley, about what happened.”
“No, Buffy, you don’t need to
explain anything to me, you’re moving on, it’s what I wanted for you, to be
happy, to have someone who could...” he couldn’t say it, not after what he
remembered, not after what he had seen. “Who could... who could take you into
the light and offer you a pulse. It’s over.” She walked toward him.
“It’ll never be over Angel, I won’t
let it be. I can’t.” She began crying. He held her in his arms. She was so
upset, she began spilling her guts, everything, he had to know. She knew it
would hurt him more in some levels but he had to know what leaving her meant.
“Angel, I can’t be happy, not knowing how happy we were for one night. Riley
doesn’t even hold a candle to you, he’s nice and sweet, but it’s not like you.
I’m so sad... I can’t keep smiling for everyone and pretending that I’m
happy-go-lucky Buffy, it doesn’t work. Don’t leave me again Angel, please don’t
leave...”
She looked up into his beautiful
brown eyes. His hands were around her tiny waist and the slid down and pulled
her up to him. She opened her mouth gladly to his. He kissed her, and his
kisses always made her dizzy, he sucked on her lower lip and her eyes rolled
back. She lost her balance and started to fall backwards which made him stop.
“BUFFY?”
“I’m okay.” She stood up quickly to
maintain some semblance of poise and pride. “I’m fine, just a little dizzy is
all.”
“You’re tired, lay down.”
“No, I’m fine.”
“Buffy if you’re dizzy you should get
some rest.”
“I’m dizzy because that’s what
affect your kisses have on me Angel, that among other things. I’m fine, we
shouldn’t do this, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said those things Angel.”
“I know, we just need space, lots of
space.”
“Lots and lots of space.” She moved
to the other side of the room, keeping as much furniture between them as she
could. She picked up the book and resumed reading, he did like wise.
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