SERIES : the Squall
PAIRING : Buffy/Angel
RATING THESE PARTS : PG, R
OVERALL RATING : PG is lowest, but highest is NC17
SPOILERS : I Will Remember You
DISCLAIMER : I do not own these
characters.
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PART 1
(PG - Nothing)
She glanced around, she had that
feeling. The feeling that showed her which was up, the one that made her feel
safe. She scanned the room, nothing. She turned her attention back to the task
at hand, and once again, looked up, nothing. Her spider senses were doing a
360, and she couldn’t see anything, she couldn’t see him. She knew he was
there, but where? She looked once more, nothing. She stood up and walked toward
the door, she glanced behind her, beneath the stairs, nothing. She went outside
and began walking down the alleyway. Nothing. ‘Am I crazy? Why would he come
back? What would be the point?’
She shrugged off the feeling and
began walking to Giles’, she had to find out about the crisis of the day. There
was always a crisis, and it had been unusually quiet lately, there must be a
storm brewing. She looked behind and she being followed by a familiar person.
“Oh, you. What do you want?”
“Well, fine way to greet me cutie,
I’ve been nothing but nice…”
“Nice? Spike, there are rapists that
are nicer than you.”
“Well you know, I have killed anyone
in months. I should think you’d be happy.”
“I am, believe me, but it’s not like
you are doing it to be nice, you’re doing it because you don’t have any other
choice.” He caught up with her and they continued to walk.
“Going to Giles’?”
“Yes.” She stopped and looked behind
her, nothing.
“What?”
“Nothing, I just… I just have this
feeling we’re being followed.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time, would
it?”
“I’d think you’d be glad for some
demon thing to be after me...”
“Normally, yes, but I don’t much
feel like defending myself and I don’t much want to tell Giles how you got
eaten on the way over, I don’t think he would give me blood again.”
“At least you’re honest.” She
stopped and scanned behind them. Nothing.
“What?”
“Nothing. Spider senses going awry.”
They got to Giles’ and walked in. Spike jumped on the couch and lay down. “You
know, Spike, just become we invited you in does not mean you’re welcome.”
“Should have thought about that
before.”
“Whatever. GILES?” He came in from
the back room.
“Do you have to scream?”
“No, but it’s fun. What’s the demon
low down?”
“Nothing.”
“I’ve been getting that a lot
tonight.”
“Giles? Got any blood?”
“Yes, Spike... of course.” There was
a knock on the door and Buffy ran over to it.
“Riley!” She threw her arms around
him and embraced him in a long kiss.
PART 2
(PG - Stories)
He watched, he couldn’t do much
else, but in the moment that the door opened and he heard her voice, he hated
him, that boy. Who was he? He remembered Thanksgiving, seeing Buffy talking to
him had driven him crazy, but this was worse.
“Angel?” He turned to see Willow.
“Angel, what are you doing here?”
“Shhh, Buffy is right over there.”
He pulled her out of sight of the door.
“Are you evil cause if you are...”
“No, I’m not evil. I just, I don’t
know what I’m doing here.” He lied. He knew exactly why he was there. He wanted
to see her, he missed her. A piece of him died when she left his office after
Thanksgiving, if that was possible, for a piece of his already dead body to
die, it did. He had thought he could bare the burden of the memory, but he
couldn’t, it hurt too much, stung, worse than death. He had to make up an
excuse to come back, to see her, Cordelia knew he was coming back, she
understood. He had to see her again, he couldn’t stay away, he had and it
hadn’t worked.
“Angel, did your friend have another
vision?”
“No, I mean, yeah, sort of, it
wasn’t real big in the specifics, but it kind of hinted to her needing help. So
I thought I’d come and check things out, make sure everything was quiet on the
Sunnydale front.” He lied, there had been no vision.
“Yeah, well you should tell her this
time that you’re here, I don’t want to keep another secret from her Angel. It
didn’t work the last time, she was mad, she was hurt.”
“Willow, I just can’t see her, she
asked me not too anymore.”
“When?”
“When she was in LA, she told me not
to see her anymore.”
“No she didn’t.”
“What? Yes she did.”
“Angel, Buffy told me exactly what
she said to you and that wasn’t it.”
‘Shit, of course, Willow wouldn’t
know about it. Should she? What if she let it slip? She wouldn’t do that. She
would know how much it would hurt Buffy to know.’
“Willow, Buffy wasn’t in LA just for
five minutes.”
“What? Yes she was, okay maybe like
an hour by the time she got to your office and got back on the highway but...”
“No, she was there for a day, and a
night. We spent it together.”
“Angel, I don’t understand.”
“Willow, shoot, she’s coming out,
come here,” he grabbed her and pulled her into the bush with him and watched
the love of his life walk by holding hands with someone else.
She stopped. Looked around. Nothing.
“Buffy? What’s wrong?”
“Huh? Oh, I was just thinking I
forgot something, but I didn’t.”
“Great, let’s go, movie, you, me...
what do you say?”
“Sure, sounds great.”
They walked by. She watched Angel’s
reaction, pain. “Angel, why don’t we go into the house?”
“Okay.”
“Giles?”
“Willow, oh Angel, what are you
doing here?” Giles asked.
“OH BLOODY HELL!”
“What the hell is he doing here
Willow?” The two nemeses approached each other, both vamped out. They circled
each other, glaring until Willow stepped between them.
“Now, cool it, both of you. Sit
down.” They complied, still glaring. “Come on guys, be civilized little
vampires.” She sat between them on the couch. Neither wanted to be the first to
unvamp, that would show weakness, so they just stared. “Okay, you guys are
freaking me out, stop it.”
“Fine.” Angel said as he morphed
back.
“I knew you’d give up.” Spike said
as he changed and smiled.
“Stop it Spike or I’ll kick your
shiny white bum to hell, and from what I hear, it’s not too pleasant. Now,
Angel, Spike’s our... well... he’s impotent.”
“HEY!” Spike jumped up. “That’s not
a very nice word Red.”
“Sorry, but it’s true. You can’t
bite, you won’t be biting. The only flesh you’ll be biting anytime soon is your
own.” He turned away and walked to the other side of the room. She was right!
It wasn’t fair. And him? He was back, he had been before, Buffy had been mad.
It wasn’t fair, if only there was a way to get back into the game a little, he
missed being evil. He hated Angel, Angelus, both of them, him, his face, his
voice, he hated him. But, if Angelus was back he might at least drain the blood
of a human for him, which would be nice. Worth a thought. Of course Angelus
would be mad at him for hitting him in the mansion with Acathla, which might be
a problem.
“Angel, what were you talking about
with Buffy spending the night with you in LA, she was gone like less than a day.”
“Willow, she came, a demon jumped
through the window.”
“I know, you killed it.”
“The second time I did, the first
time he left, and Buffy and I went to find it. We chased it down into the
sewers, which is when she told me not to see her face to face anymore. The
tunnel split and she went above to see if he was up there, I went down the
other tunnel. I found him and stabbed him and his blood mixed with mine and
made me human. The blood of a Morha demon carries eternity or something like
that, and it made me human, I found Buffy, and we... you know... during the
night, Doyle came down and told me he had a vision about the demon. I went to
hunt it and I got beat up, I couldn’t fight. Buffy came and saved me, killed
the demon, but he said more were coming, the End of Days, and we wouldn’t stop
it. So I went to the Oracles, to see if he was right and what would happen to
Buffy, and they said she would die, so I asked them to make me a vampire again.
They said they couldn’t, but I got them to give me back the day, turn back time
twenty-four hours, when Buffy left the office. She doesn’t remember, she won’t
ever, they said it was my burden to bare.” He was quiet.
He smiled. He had a wonderful, awful
idea.
PART 3
(PG14 - Vision)
“So, what was that movie about?”
“I think it was about the war or...
I don’t know Buffy. I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was in French.” He smiled and
slipped his arm around her waist. “Wanna go back to my room?”
“No, we should patrol. I don’t like
your room, it’s all, guy-like.”
“It’s suppose to be, I’m a guy.”
“Are you ever.” She smiled at him.
She tried, honest she did. She wanted to be happy, she wanted a normal life and
on some level, she loved him. She couldn’t say that to him, she would never.
Those words were only meant for one guy, vampire or not, she loved Angel, she
would always. She had meant that promise. She looked down at her Claddaugh. She
felt almost bad about wearing it around Riley, but he didn’t know what it
meant, he thought it was pretty. She would never forget Angel, as long as she
had that with her. Never forget? “Deja vu.”
“What Buffy?”
“Oh, just something I was thinking.”
Where had she heard that before? A movie or something she was sure. Like no one
had ever said that before? Still something rang a bell in her head.
“So why are you here?”
“I don’t know. It’s hard. I... I had
to see her, make sure she was okay, not living with memories she can’t explain,
but I can see she’s moving on, it’s just...”
“Hard to see her with someone else?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, you know Angel, you could
always kill him.” They looked up at Spike.
“Spike, you’re not helping.”
“Think about, kill him, Buffy isn’t
with him, you move on in and...”
“And what? Killing her new boyfriend
isn’t the plan I was looking for. Besides, I thought about it, she’d be mad.”
“Yeah, but it would make me happy.”
“Well, we don’t care about you Spike. Don’t you have some crypt somewhere
to go haunt or something?” Willow said.
“Funny. No, Buffy’s new boy-toy and
his pals ran me out of my home. Screw-happy-boy certainly does find lots of
time for Buffy and lots of time for chasing me out of every place I go.” He saw
Angel’s face cringe at the comments, it made him tingle inside. It felt good to
hurt someone, despite the fact he couldn’t torture him, this was just as bad.
It was all part of the plan.
“Spike, you need to leave now.”
“But?”
“No, GO! The kitchen is closed, go
haunt someone else, go stalk some little girl, go watch a movie, just GO!”
Willow pushed him toward the door. She was cute when she was forceful. He liked
it. The innocent schoolgirl thing worked wonders on him. One day, he would have
his way with her. Today, he would leave as she requested.
“Well, when you see little Buff, our
little Slutty the Vampire Slayer, tell her I said good night.” He walked out
quite satisfied with himself.
“I should check in with Cordelia,
can I use the phone Giles?”
“Yes of course Angel.”
“Angel Investigations, we help the
homeless, I mean hopeless, we help the hopeless.”
“Cordelia, it’s me.”
“Angel, I’m glad you called, I had a vision.”
“A real one?”
“Like duh!”
“What?”
“I don’t know exactly, but I saw you
and Buffy in a cave type thing, and I saw like hundreds of demons, thousands
even. That’s all I got, not very big with the details, but you get the jist,
end of the world or something. Be careful and don’t worry, Wesley and I are on
top of things, with Kate’s help.”
“Okay, try to figure out what kind
of demon’s they were, I’ll call in a little while.”
“We’re on it.”
“Willow, up for some
research?”
“Sure, what kind?”
“I don’t know, maybe another
ascension type thing, thousands of demons, like an army, possibly having
something to do with the end of days.”
“We’ll start here, I’ll leave a
message on our machine in case Buffy goes back there after patrolling. Oh, and
I might need my computer.”
“I’ll go for it.”
“This is nice.”
“What’s that?”
“That part where you walk me to my
room.”
“What about the part where we go
into your room?” He kissed her neck.
“What about Willow?”
“We’ll be quiet.” She unlocked the
door and checked the messages.
“Willow’s not coming, she’s going to
be at Tara’s.”
“So we’re alone?”
“It seems that way.” He grabbed her
and lifted her up to him. They kissed and he lifted her up and carried her to
her bed.
“Wait!”
“What?” She jumped up and threw a
blanket over Amy’s cage. “Okay.” He kissed her deeply and he removed her
clothes, as she took his off. He entered inside and she tried to concentrate,
but she wasn’t into it tonight. Something was up, wrong, out of whack. She felt
it again, and she heard the keys. “RILEY! Get off!” She pushed him to the side
and the door opened, her jaw dropped.
PART 4
(R - Surprise)
He closed his eyes immediately and
turned around. He wanted to kill him for touching his Buffy like that but he
couldn’t. This was what he said he wanted. He started walking down the hallway.
“ANGEL!” She ran after him, throwing
a shirt on as she ran into the hallway. She grabbed his arm, wrong thing to do,
any contact was a punishment on them both. She released him immediately and he
turned to her, looking away. “What are you doing here? And with a key?”
“Buffy, there’s...” he looked down,
she was wearing his shirt. He could hardly stand the thought of what was
underneath it. Soft tender skin waiting to respond to his touch, to his mouth,
eager for tasting, exploration. She was wearing nothing but that shirt, she was
ripe for the taking, he turned away, he couldn’t look at her. Looking led to
thinking and thinking led to losing touch with reality and that only led to
touching which led to killing. It was dangerous. “Buffy, you can’t be here like
that.”
“Right.” She stood there, half
naked. Part of her knew what he meant, she shouldn’t be standing out in the
hallway half naked. She had to get dressed, part of her knew what he was
thinking. Part of her knew that this would just lead to bad things. Part of her
didn’t care.
“You shou... I should go, I’m going to
go.”
“Why are you here?”
“Buffy?” Riley came to her and put
his hand on her shoulder. “What’s going on?”
“Riley, this is... a friend, my
friend, and old friend, Angel, Angel this is Riley.” The two shook hands
cordially. Both knew there was more significance to the introduction.
“Hi, pleased to meet you.” He lied.
He wasn’t pleased to meet her new boyfriend, to see her in his clothes, to see
his hand on her shoulder. To know what they had been doing, they had been...
“Pleased to meet you too. Buffy,
what’s going on? Where’s Willow?”
“Willow’s at Giles’, she’s doing
some research for a paper, she needs her computer, I told her I’d come and get
it.”
“Well, come in and get it.” She led
him to the door and he went in. Riley and Buffy followed. She grabbed her jeans
and put them on.
“I’m sorry... for interrupting. I
didn’t know...”
“I know Angel, it’s fine, don’t
worry. It’s right over there.” He glanced at her bed, how he longed to just
grab her and throw her onto it. To take his pleasure of her for as long as he
could before he changed back to what he was. To relish her taste, her moist
heat and to not care about the consequences.
She shifted her eyes between the two
men. Angel was so much more than Riley could ever be to her. He was nice, and
gentle and human, but he was not the one. She knew that, had always known, but
shouldn’t she take the next best thing? She didn’t want to be a person who
settled for second best, but what other choice did she have? Could another love
be that intense? Could she ever have another love so deep and mind altering
than that of hers for Angel? She often pondered these questions. If Angel were
human, would she love him as much? Was the attraction because he was something
she shouldn’t have? Forbidden love.
She remembered her study of Romeo and Juliet in high
school English. They had debated about forbidden love. Was it because it was
forbidden that they had fallen so in love? Were they ever really in love, or in
love with being in love? She looked at Angel, smoldering, emanating sex, he was
the embodiment of every fantasy she had ever had. Her handsome prince, her
lover, her friend, she had to stop this. This was one reason she hadn’t been
able to move on, why she felt dead inside, a feeling she was sure he could
relate to.
She followed his eyes to the bed, she shared his thoughts.
She wanted him to sweep her away with kisses and caresses. She wanted that
feeling of exhilaration as he brought her to orgasm over and over again with
his mouth, his tongue, his hands... He had been a kind and gentle lover, he
knew it had been her first time, to her it was her only time, nothing she’d had
since could even compare. He had been so loving, tender, leading her to her own
pleasure, touching her, letting her respond to him in her own way, she hadn’t
been afraid. She had always thought the first time would be scary, but it had
been wonderfully delightful. It aged her, as did the consequences of their
actions. She flashed to his cold eyes, telling her to grow up, she shuddered.
“Angel, why did you say you were here anyway?”
“I think we should talk about that privately.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s a professional visit and I don’t think I
shou...”
“Angel, Riley knows I’m the slayer, he knows that vampires
and demons are real. Just tell me.”
“Cordy saw us in a cave and then she saw thousands of demons
marching, an army of them. She’s trying to track down the type they were, but I
have a feeling I already know, anyway Willow is going to do some research on
the net. We need the computer, we’re at Giles’.”
“Fine, let’s go.”
“Hey Buffy?”
“Yeah Riley?”
“I kinda need my shirt.”
“Right, Angel would yo...”
“I’ll wait outside.”
He took the computer and left, closing the door behind him.
If the mirror in the hallway would have shown his reflection, it also would
have shown the tear that fell down his cold cheek.
“Who’s that really Buffy?”
“What? He’s a friend.”
“Buffy, come on, I have friends too, but then I have friends meaning ex-girlfriends, and I
can tell the difference.”
“It’s complicated Riley, and I don’t have time to explain, I
have an apocalypse to avert.”
“I think that’s a strong assumption.”
“Yeah, well, I like to plan big, so that if it’s a little
thorn in my side, at least I was prepared. Let’s go.” She changed her pants as
he put his shirt on. She took off the khakis and put on leather ones. She
smiled at the thought of Angel in his, he had looked good. She wanted to wear
these, it made her feel like she had control over him. He made her feel so lost,
so vulnerable, dizzy. She wanted to have some control over him, she hoped these
would provide that. If only in her mind.
The door opened and he barely was able to stand up straight.
She brushed by him, Riley following her like a lost puppy. What did she see in
him? How did he know about demons? Maybe he was one and she didn’t know it,
what if he was trying to impregnate her with his demon spawns? He had been
there and done that, and it wasn’t really fun. He should warn her. No, what was
he thinking? He had to give Riley a chance, he didn’t want to. He hated him for
being there when he couldn’t. He hated him for being able to touch Buffy in
ways he couldn’t. He hated him for being the man in Buffy’s life, he hated him
for taking his place. He hated himself for giving Riley the opportunity.
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