The craziness began last night when me, Amy and Elizabeth (my sisters) watched Pirates of the Caribbean for the 234734562472048th time. We couldn�t help but laugh at Orlando Bloom�s entrance, for Will Turner accidentally broke the thing on the wall in Governor Swann�s house, for we always laugh at that part anyways. We also couldn�t help but laugh at the fact that he was practically choking when he saw Elizabeth, and we decided to amuse ourselves further by saying he wasn�t choking because he was in love with Elizabeth, but because he was just insane and he happened to be choking on the air.
We then declared that the 234734562472048th time we saw Pirates of the Caribbean would be officially called �The Time We Made Fun of Will Turner When We Watched Pirates of the Caribbean.�
The next time we saw sweet William was when Jack escaped from Norrington by finding a hiding place in the blacksmith�s shop-thing. (I honestly have NO idea what it�s called.) Because this was the time when we had to make fun of Will Turner, we laughed at him when he began talking to his weapons. (�Not where I left you!�) We came up with a theory that Will had previously been in some sort of mental institution because he heard voices in his head and talked to inanimate objects and had imaginary friends. Every time Will did something �weird� we blamed it on the �voices.� He also had a tendency to say his thoughts out loud, like when he was explaining about leverage to Jack.
Later in the movie, when Barbossa told Elizabeth the story of the Aztec gold, the monkey began freaking me out as usual. We made up the idea that when Will was in the mental institution, his roommate was the monkey. That�s why Will was never cured. Poor Will. L
The arrival of the crew came, and that�s one of my favorite parts, because I find it amusing to watch Will make faces when the crew proved to be crazy. (I love the crew!) After Jack said that Ana Maria would be useful, even though a female on board would be �bad luck�, Jack looked at the sky for a brief second and walked away. Mr. Gibbs looked up at the sky, and Will did too. (Amy was the one to notice this.)
We then pressed pause to get Fudgies from the freezer in the basement, trying to find out a reason why Mr. Gibbs and Will could�ve possibly looked up at the sky for no reason at all, until I began walking up the basement stairs, and a nasty thought came into my head.
Me thinking: Oh my God! What if Mr. Gibbs looked at the sky because he was in love with Jack and admired him so much, he wanted to do the EXACT same thing Jack did? And Will was in love with Mr. Gibbs and admired him so much, he wanted to do the EXACT same thing Mr. Gibbs did?
I nearly had a stroke on the basement stairs.
What resulted from that was a messed-up love pentagon, consisting of Jack, Mr. Gibbs, Will, Elizabeth, and Commodore Norrington. Mr. Gibbs was in love with Jack. Will was in love with Mr. Gibbs. Elizabeth was in love with Will. Norrington was in love with Elizabeth, but having an affair with the Governor. What provoked that nasty thought? When the pirates began attacking Port Royal, it looked like Norrington sexually attacked Swann in some way, and it left a nasty mark in my mind. Norrington then ordered Governor Swann to go into his office. What could�ve happened in the office later on, who knows? It was enough to scar somebody for life. Lieutenant Gillette was also in love with Norrington, but wasn�t good enough. Jack was in love with rum and the Black Pearl. Unfortunately, Swann, Gillette, rum, and the Black Pearl were not a part of the pentagon.
The rest of the time, we made fun of Mr. Gibbs for loving Jack, and we had to continue making fun of Will.
When Mr. Gibbs told Will the story of how Jack escaped from the island, we came up with the idea that Mr. Gibbs enjoyed making up stories about Jack because he loved him so much, and Will of course was willing to listen because his dearest Mr. Gibbs was talking to him. Will always seemed to talk to Mr. Gibbs when they were on the Black Pearl.
Will was sad about the parting with Mr. Gibbs when the pirates destroyed the Interceptor. However, both were reunited briefly. When the pirates gagged Will when they forced Elizabeth to walk the plank, at first we said he was gagged with one of Barbossa�s socks. I then had the nastiest thought. What if it was one of Mr. Gibbs�s socks?
When Jack and Elizabeth were marooned on the island, they messed up the love pentagon! How dare they! Elizabeth then messed up the pentagon even further by proposing to the evil commodore! How dare she!
Ever notice that Will was locked up in a separate cell from Mr. Gibbs? Imagine if they were not� Nasty!
All of the Will/Elizabeth scenes happened because Will was fantasizing about Mr. Gibbs. -_-
There were several other random and rather disgusting thoughts and saying throughout the movie. We learned that we should probably have a tape recorder handy the next time we watch a DVD that happens to be one of our favourites. And I always thought slash was sick and nasty, but it still amuses me�
This would make an interesting fanfiction....