| REALIZATIONS... REALITY #1 It took me awhile to realize this, but I am such a bitch. I push my faults off onto the guys I piss off because I continually think it's them and not me. But, what I couldn't see or admit to maybe was that it was me. I get along great guys. I'm one of the biggest flirts that even existed in this town, and most of the school knows it. Get me a halfway decent guy, and I'll flirt my ass off like there's no tomorrow. I also get along so good with them because I act like them more often than not. The perverted and sexist jokes that usually offend chicks like me, I find hilarious. Plus, I always manage to find some come-back to them, which surprises guys even more. So, pretty much, I'm able to talk to a guy about some of the most disgusting things ever known to exist in the eyes of a normal female. With this being the case, I think I earn a sort of good ranking in the eyes of a normal male. This also gets me in trouble. You see, since I am a flirt and pervert, I attract some strange guys. Usually the overly horny ones who just want a good lay. I believe that sex is a beautiful thing and you should only do it with the one you love, not whomever comes along that's willing to give it to you. That's one thing that separates me from all my guy friends. You see, though, whhen a guy comes onto me by golding my hand or hugging me or sitting with me and leaning against me, I'm not going to complain. I love attention from the male genre, because, in a way, it makes me feel wanted, pathetic as that sounds. But it does. And that makes guys assume that I want to go farther with them, just because I like to cuddle. Then, when I shrug them off and they start getting mad at me, I blame them. It is partially their fault, but it's more mine. If I didn't lead them on so much then they wouldn't come after me. They only problem is I like their love. I, like many teenaged girls, like the feel of a guy's affection. But, I'm also different than most teenaged girls as well. Some girls get in the habit of believing that in order to get a guy to really like them, they've got to give up some booty. They usually begin to think that a guy will stay with them longer, love them more, etc. if they take part in the act that should only occur between loved ones. This gets them in trouble. Most guys with all their working male organs will either dump a girl after they get what they want and move onto the next challenge or just use that girl for sex only. There are the choice few high school couples that really do have feeling for each other and they do feel the attraction. But, most are just in it for the hell of it. I love my guy friends more than anything. They are easier to get along with than girls at times. But, I've got to start telling myself to watch out. Because even guy friends will want something if they believe they can get it, disregarding the feeling already set. There are only a few guys I'm close to that wouldn't do anything that I didn't want them to, and for that I'm glad. But, there are others who will try anything...and I do mean anything, just to satisfy their needs. |