SACRED SEXUALITY
Frequently Asked Questions
How does polyamory fit into sacred sexuality?
Polyamory and monogamy are both compatible with the practice of sacred sexuality. It is not the type of relationship you have in sacred sex, but the quality of the relationship(s). Practicing sacred sex with a partner requires a great deal of trust and commitment. Some people find these qualities in monogamy, and some find them in polygamy: what is most important is that you be dedicated to furthering your own spiritual growth and the growth of your partner(s), and that you be able to recognize the spark of Divinity within your partner(s).
Do I have to be heterosexual to practice sacred sexuality?
No. Gays, lesbians, and bisexuals can practice sacred sexuality -- the techniques of sacred sex are focused on the movement of energy through the body, and the sharing of energy between partners -- the gender of the body (or bodies) involved is not nearly as important as the strength of the energetic polarities within and between practitioners. These energetic polarities sustain the flow of energy during sacred sex (and in the rest of life as well), creating the conditions which allow you to achieve ecstatic communion with the Divine.
Non-heterosexuals may experience some frustration with the available books and other materials which teach sacred sex, as both Tantra and Taoist alchemy developed in societies whose gender roles were rigidly defined, and most texts today assume that the practitioners will be heterosexual. Many texts even warn against homosexuality, but this is a cultural bias which was transferred to the sacred sexual traditions, not a spiritual truth. Extended practice of sacred sexuality strengthens both the traditionally masculine and feminine qualities -- androgyny, a state of wholeness within the psyche, is one of the end results of sacred sexual practice.
Are bondage and domination (B&D) or sadism and masochism (s&m) compatible with sacred sexual practice?
Bondage and domination and sadism and masochism can be incorporated into sacred sex, if you so desire. Both of these styles of lovemaking can be used to induce and/or strengthen an ecstatic trance. This is a matter of personal choice.
What is sex magic? And how is it different from sacred sexuality?
Sex magic is a subset of sacred sexuality, and incorporates many of the traditional techniques of sacred sexuality into magical practice as a means of raising energy which can then be channeled into a magical working. Sex magical workings can be directed towards achieving union with the Divine, accelerating personal transformation, or achieving goals within the physical world.
What kinds of techniques are utilized in sacred sexual practice?
Some of the techniques used in sacred sexual practice include:
Meditation
Visualization
Chanting of mantras (phrases which are repeated over and over again while the practitioner is in a meditative state)
Gazing on yantras (geometric designs in which various deity-forms are thought to dwell)
Chakra work
Massage
Prayer
Specific patterns of breathing
Contraction of the PC and anal muscles to retain energy and to circulate it within the body
Specific sexual positions
Rhythmical thrusting (the male performsa specific number of thrusts, with a particular timing, repeated a certain number of times)
What about passion and spontaneity? Do I have to give those up to practice sacred sexuality?
Many beginners find it difficult to concentrate on specific techniques while they are having sex -- after all Western society treats sex as oneof the few times in your life where you are supposed to "lose control". Sacred sexuality, on the other hand, requires that you gain precise control over you body: the techniques are designed to help you harness the energies of sex in new and unfamiliar ways. In the short term, this new physical discipline may decrease your ability to enjoy sex, because practicing a special breathing technique or counting the number of thrusts is distracting you from the pleasurable sensations. (This is one of the reasons why it's a good idea to practice these techniques by yourself, during self-stimulation, before you use them with a partner -- it gives you greater control over the type of distraction you will be learning to overcome.)
Once mastered, however, sacred sexual technique increases your pleasure tremendously by slowing down the sexual cycle and allowing you and your partner to remain in the arousal stage much longer -- a necessary condition for experiencing the whole-body orgasm. The techcniques also teach you how to expand the energies of the orgasm and to direct them upward throughout your entire body, inducing a state of bliss in which it is possible to commune with the Divine.
When you first start, you may feel a little bit frustrated or distracted -- don't worry about it. Just keep practicing the techniques until they are second nature. Ideally, the more you practice on your own, the more easily you will learn to use them successfully with a partner.