Part 5
I lift my head up off the pillow and grab my phone.“Hello?”
“What the fuck were you thinking Britney?”
I sighed. “Justin, I really don’t need this from you.”
“No. Do you have any idea what you just did?”
“Yes Justin, I do. I got married. What more than that should I know?”
“You got married just like that and you see nothing wrong with it? Are you insane?”
“From what I’ve heard, you obviously think so.”
“What? I said nothing of the sort.”
“Oh really? The story of you telling your fans at you shows that I’m crazy aren’t true?” I paused. “Why don’t you go tend to your girlfriend instead of me.”
“So what…I’m not allowed to care for my friend?”
“Friend? Just, we haven’t been friends in a long while.”
“Why are you turning this onto me Britney? I didn’t do anything wrong. You married someone you barely know.”
“For your information, I’ve known Jason since grade school.”
“You two weren’t even together.”
“And how would you know Justin? How could you possibly know the truth about my relationship with him?”
Silence fills the other end.
“Face it Justin. You don’t know me anymore.” I paused and blinked away the tears threatening to spill over. “Why don’t you own up to the real reason why you’re upset? You’re upset because I married before you did! Or maybe it’s the fact that I married him instead of you!”
As those last words left my mouth, I am met with a click.
“He hung up on me.”
“From what you just told me, it appears that he still has feelings for you.”
“I highly doubt that. I can’t see how he could after all the things he said. And even if he did, he obviously doesn’t care much because he’s in a relationship.”
“Well, what about you? Do you still have feelings for him?”
I take a deep breath and lick my lips. “He was my first love, so I guess I always will.”
She nods and smiles faintly as she glances down at her watch. “Time’s running out. I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.”
“Brit, why are they having a premiere for a commercial?” Jamie Lynn asks, sitting at the top of the bed.“I don’t know baby. They just are.” I said as I finish packing.
“How long will you be gone?”
“Probably a few days. Then I’ll be going back to New York.”
“Can I go with you to New York?”
“Jamie Lynn, you know you have to go and start filming. You can’t get out of that.” I zipped my bag and tossed it on the floor. “Why do you want to anyway?”
“Because I love your apartment!”
I laughed and rolled my eyes. “And to think I thought you wanted to spend time with me.”
She giggled. “Of course I do.” She hopped off the bed and wrapped her arms around me. “So then you can buy me things.”
“You’re lucky I love you.” I picked her up and threw her on the bed. The doorbell rings and she rolls off.
“I’ll get it!” she screams as she runs out of the room. I shake my head and begin to fix the bed.
“Britney, you have a delivery!”
I make my way downstairs and into the kitchen.
“What’s this?” I ask as she hands me a card.
“Don’t know but someone paid an awful lot for these.” She said, eyeing the large vase of what roses. I open the envelope and pull out the card. My breath catches in my throat when I notice the familiar handwriting.
Britney,I’m sorry. I had no reason to act the way I did the other day. I know you probably hate me and it’s understandable if you do. But I really am sorry. For everything.
Love, Justin
“Brit, you ok?” she asks. “Who’s it from?”
She reaches to take the card form my hand but I jerk away from her.
“I’m fine. I’m going to my room. Come get me when Mama gets home.”
“She nods and I turn quickly, ascending up to my room. I shut the door behind me and lean against it. My heart beats faster as I look over at my purse. Pushing off the door, I grab my purse and search for my phone.
“What does he think he’s doing?” I say aloud as I dial his number.
“Hello?”
“Justin…”
“Britney! I’m so sorry. Did you get the flowers I sent?”
“Yes I did and they’re beautiful. Thank you, but you didn’t have to do that Justin.”
“I know I didn’t, I wanted to.”
I sighed and fell back on my bed. “Justin, you really shouldn’t be sending me things like that.” I paused and began smile. “But thank you…and I accept your apology. I’m sorry too. I should have said the things that I said when I knew they weren’t true.”
“It’s ok I deserved it. Besides…” he paused and cleared his throat. “You were right.”
I sat up and sprang up onto my feet. “What?”
“You were right. I was upset that you rushed to marry this guy and you didn’t do that for me.”
My heart sinks, hearing the hurt tone in his voice. “Justin, that’s not it at all. You know that I would have loved to spend the rest of my life with you. Despite the things that happened between us before we broke up, I don’t want you to think that I didn’t want to marry you.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
“Why does it matter now Justin?” I said, changing the subject to avoid the feelings that started to stir inside me.
“I just want to know.”
I take a deep breath and close my eyes. ‘Please let this come out right.’
“I was scared.”
“Of what?”
“That we weren’t ready. Things in both of our lives were changing and we were both going in the opposite direction.”
He remains quiet and my eyes begin to tear.
“Justin?”
“Can I see you?”
“What for?”
“I need to see you. Please Britney.”
I scratch my head. “I have a premiere in London tomorrow and I’ll be there for a few days. I’ll be heading down to New York afterwards.”
“That’s fine. I’ll see you there.”
“Justin…”
“I got to go Brit. I’ll call you. Bye.” He hangs up suddenly and I pull the phone away from my ear, staring at it strangely.
“Good bye to you too.” I place the phone next to me and stuff my face in my pillow.