Reporter: Mr. Osbourne, before I ask you any questions, i do need to advise you under the concealed weapons permit of the city of Montreal, i am carrying a firearm and if assaulted I will discharge it as neccessary. May I proceed?
NRO: Like I haven't been shot before smart ass. Guess the IoA was a bit before your time huh?
Reporter: While yes, it is, i have seen the footgae, it happened here in Canada did it not? Chris Reinhardt shot you with a toxic dart?
NRO: Yeah, all while running around in a Jango Fett suit. Fucking moron. And they say I'm not a Jedi. Riiiiight.
Reporter: So we're back to that again eh?
NRO: Listen you little prick, check your tone before I drop you harder than stock market if you step out of line.
Reporter: Mr. Osbourne there is speculation that you have accepted one of the several open challenges placed this past week and will in fact have a match at Night of Champion, is this true?
NRO: Now, if I answered that honestly I would say yes....but i'm not going to answer you honestly. I'm going with No.
Reporter: doesn't it defeat the purpose of lying to me if you tell me you are lying to me?
NRO: Yeah, I guess it kind of does don't it? ut it makes for great TV!!
Reporter: ........
NRO: That's what I thought. Yes, moron, I will be wiping the floor with one of the many no talent hacks Xamin has padded his roster with. But alas, which no talent hack will it be? The Motion? Why on God's green earth, would I bother even giving this kid the throbbing hard on of getting to work a match with someone of my calibur? This idiot doesn't know a wristlock from a wrist watch...
Reporter: Again, not original...
NRO: Like anything is anymore. Here's the difference moron, I'm Rob Osbourne, I 'm sort of a big deal. People know me.
Reporter: Wasn't that a line from Anchorman?
NRO: (looking at the camera) They never learn, do they?
**Osbourne gives the reporter a swift kick in the stomach and in one fluid motion grabs the young mans head under his arm and shatters the coffee table with his skull in a sickening Badd Dream, his inverted DDT. He stands back up and fixes his shirt and looks directly into the camera**
NRO: Xamin, when are you going to hire some real reporters, unbiassed journalists calling it down the middle? Bah, like you'll ever spring for real talent. That much is obvious by the talent level on your roster. When your people called my people they said 'tell Mr. Osbourne that we have one of the strongest rosters ever assembled'
What a crock of shit.
Magnus Thunder? That 9 foot tall Norwegian retard was past his prime when he won his first CWF match ten years ago.
And please don't tell me the M.u.H. is a threat. I've seen more talent spill out of a used condom Chemical X left in his new tag team's locker room after he 'pumped them up'- how does Chemical X qualify to be anyone's mentor? This guy's career high was mid-carding a house show.
Speaking of Mid-carders, Astro is back in the business. REE RORGE! RITS REAT TO RAVE ROU BACK!!!! Call Elroy and have him pick you up at the pound.
Brian Fucking Admas? Are you kidding me? This guy is crazier than a shit house rat and has broken out of more nuthouses than Paul Blair has jobbed main events. Dude, LABOTOMY, it's your only shot at any kind of peace.
Aside from the rest of the would be has beens that never will be again, there is one man who has yet to contact me since my return to the CWF.
Pledgie Wedgie. Why the silent treatment my old friend? Have you forgotten how much you hate me and I hate you and how much we drive the other to be the best. Of course, in your case, second best. All we need now is The Maniac and "Hotshot" Mike Stewert to come back. But Pledge, then, now, in the future, as Hotshot said best, i will run through you like a knife through butter, brother.
**Scene fades as Osbourne steps over the reporter who is finally coming to. Fade to black**
