| MONDAY |
8 PM |
8:30 PM |
9 PM |
| COMEDY CENTRAL |
MAD TV. Stereotypical characters get into boring situations, then vomit or scream when the skit becomes unsalvageable.
| Premium Blend. Hispanics, blacks, and Asians make cheap ethnic jokes about their own racial group. |
"National Lampoon's L.A. Riots" (1993, Comedy, zero stars). Ill-considered feature about Watts riots. Chevy Chase as LAPD Sergeant Griswold. |
| MTV |
Real World: Tacoma. Sparks fly when R.J. drops refreshing Pepsi on their handy T-Mobile Sidekick ®. Guest Star: crass Gen-X product placement. |
Laguna Beach. Ohmigod, so, like, Steven totally dumps Kristen, and LC is all, "No!" and it's, like, wow, drama! I totally cried. (RR) |
Next. Teens and twentysomethings confirm every unfavorable stereotype of themselves. (RR) |
| FOOD |
Bobby Flay: You Call That Barbeque? Flay goes door-to-door, relentlessly mocking people's cooking. |
"Emeril: Silence of the Bams" (2005, Suspense, one star). Celebrity chef Emeril must stop a serial killer prowling the kitchen. |
... |
| SCIFI |
"Attack of the Deadly Nightmare Swarm: The Plague of the Fatal Flying Nightmare Robotic Killer Bees" (2005, Science Fiction, one star) |
... |
"Flying Virus Apocalypse VII: The Return of the Original Swarm of Nightmare Killers" (2004, Science Fiction, one star) |
| LIFETIME
| Strong Medicine. Women doctors congratulate each other on how empowered and independent they are. Meanwhile, only three patients die. |
"Deadly Voices: The ShaFonce Bagwell Story" (2003, Docudrama, two stars). Unbelievably biased portrayal of recent media story. |
... |
| VH1 |
200 Most Forgettable Pop Songs |
Best Week Ever. VH1 tears down and ridicules the celebrities and icons it builds up. |
40 Most Desperate List Shows |
| MONDAY |
9:30 PM |
10 PM |
10:30 PM |
| COMEDY CENTRAL |
... |
Chappelle's Show. 100th episode. Dave celebrates by finally using a new impression. |
"Hamburger High: Back 2 School" (2005, Comedy, negative one stars). Comedy Central learns too late why this was a direct-to-video release. |
| MTV |
Laguna Beach. So then LC goes to Steven, and she's all "Whatever," and he doesn't even want to hear it, and they, like, go to a dance and he gets super jealous. Sooo typical. |
Room Raiders. Massage oil?! Scandalous! Only 347 contestants have had that in their rooms before! |
MTV's Maid. Real high school students get forced to dust and mop. |
| FOOD |
30 Greatest Kitchen Injuries. Emeril scalds himself; Rachel Ray falls on a cleaver. |
Iron Chef America. Battle Cheez Whiz. |
Iron Chef America. Battle Hot Pockets. |
| SCIFI |
Galactic Port: Final Crisis. Another anonymous series with explosions and tight uniforms. |
"Armageddon Swarming Death Horde IV: The Unbelievably Long Title" (2005, Suspense, one star). Hahaha, just kidding, this one's sci-fi too. |
... |
| LIFETIME
| "Silent Lies: The Brenda Ficuson Story" (2005, Docudrama, one star). Unbelievably biased portrayal of recent media story. |
... |
"Terror of the Heart: The Jan Smathers Story" (2006, Docudrama, one star). Unbelievably biased portrayal, etc., etc., etc. |
| VH1 |
100 Weakest Premises
| Celebrity Fit Clubbed. Overweight celebrities are beaten with nightsticks, bats, etc.
| I Love The 80s: Part Cuatro. Hour-long commercial for nostalgia items (all conveniently for sale on vh1.com) |