A few words about healthy choices from McDonald's.
Over the past few years, McDonald's has been all about making healthy choices. We're not just about food now -- we're about a lifestyle. We've introduced healthy menu choices, and continue to encourage being active.
And you're not taking them! You still buy the Double Quarter Pounder with extra bacon. You're stuffing down fries, not a cool and refreshing Fruit and Walnut Salad. And we know you're not using that pedometer. You played around with it for five minutes and then left it in the closet. Don't try to deny it.
Well, you know what? We're sick of it. No more "choices". No more Mr. Nice Restaurant. You're going to be eating healthy, and you're going to like it.
Or else.
Next time you're at our restaurant, you're ordering the salad with low-calorie dressing. And a bottled water. Don't forget a Happy Meal with milk and apple slices for the kids. And you'd better be using that pedometer, or you're going to regret it.
Because we don't just care about you. We're keeping tabs on you. We will hunt you like the bloated, artery-congested dog that you are. You can't escape us. And if you're still not eating healthy? Well, let's just say Ronald McDonald might not be so friendly anymore. And don't be surprised if Mayor McCheese picks up some brass knuckles.
So enjoy a nice yogurt parfait and keep watching your carbs, because we've got our eye on your every move.
And you'd better believe it.
