A Night Out With Cap'n Jimmy
First in "The Cap'n and Me", series commissioned by Cap'n Jimmy's Co., by Richard Flontley
Well, looks like you and the Cap'n are closing the place down again. No worries, though. Just have a sip of Cap'n Jimmy's magic brew and wait for the room to stop spinning. Ahhh...goes down awfully nice, doesn't it? Cap'n Jimmy's scotch is made with the finest ingredients by some of the best-paid sweatshop workers in Clancy Gap, Louisiana. Do you feel that gentle tingle on your tongue? The little burn at the back of your throat? That violent cramping in your stomach? Only Cap'n Jimmy's has that signature taste. So go ahead, have another bottle. You've earned it.
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Surgeon General's Warning: Cap'n Jimmy's Authentic Scotch may cause brain injury, seizures, blindness, gastritis, liver disease, cancer, or a bad rash. Do not drink Cap'n Jimmy's before driving, boating, or operating heavy machinery. In fact, you're probably better off staying away from the stuff altogether. |
