Easter™ is my second favourite holiday, surpassed only by Corporatemas™. It is a time of great celebration of the corporate way of life and its idol, the EasterTM Bunny.
The story of Easter™ is an old one. It is a story about great loss and great hope. It is the story of the death and rebirth of the Easter™ Bunny.
Once there was a great depression; very few people had jobs and the economy was slow. No one ate much chocolate during this depression, so the health problems such as obesity and bad teeth were few and far between. Today, we have much obesity and poor dental hygiene to support the health sector of the economy, but at this time, the health sector suffered greatly. Doctors and dentists had few patients, so they could not make enough money to properly support themselves. In fact, one dentist, could not even afford to buy food for himself and his bunny rabbit. In fact, the situation got so bad that the poor bunny died. The bunny died for our sins of under-consumption. However, the bunny realized that he had not fulfilled his dreams of owning a complete set of novelty carrots and he rose again three days later. He appeared briefly to finish his collection and then ascended into heaven with novelty carrots in tow.
In sorrow for the poor bunny and happiness for its return to consumption, the dentist's family began observing a holiday. The Friday associated with the bunny's death was met with mourning and called Good Friday in remembrance of the good rabbit. The Sunday was associated with celebration and named Easter™. It was celebrated by the giving of chocolates and other candies to children. The hope was that all the fat children with bad teeth would have enough health problems to properly spur on the health sector of the economy. Only with a strong health sector, can we be assured that no more poor dentist's rabbits will die due to economic depression.
Today Easter™ is a time of hope through consumerism and it is practice by all great economies.
Back to Main Page.
© 2004 Corporate Fish