I understand why I'm attracted to younger boys who remind me of myself (in physical appearance), but I'm still not sure why I have an attraction to boys my own age. I mean, I want to be younger (I have a strong desire for youth), so the other attraction makes sense, but what about this attraction? It's very different. I'd rather not use the 's' word in any form, so I'll just say that it's more of a hormonal reaction than an emotional one. I mean, it can be frustrating being attracted in that way to someone my age, but it's not like I'd cry over it like I would with my emotional attraction to youth.

I've talked about youth and beauty and that makes sense, but why would I have "other interests"? It's too easy to just say "I was born this way". I've looked back on my life and there wasn't ever any signs or suggestions of how I would turn out. It was just something that suddenly happened when I was 12, almost 13. There was no warning.

I could tell myself that it was because of events in my life, but that just feels like more blame. Then why? Some random gene that suddenly kicked in? Why is anyone attracted to anyone else in that way? It's almost as if there is a subconscious image that if you see anything close to it in real life, your subconscious releases a chemical reaction.

Everyone is different. We all see the world differently. We all see colors differently. Yet, we all have that same reaction towards someone; some person, male, female, or both. Why? Maybe I'm looking for a complicated answer when it's really simple. Well, I'd like to hear what you think. Please email me and put "attractions" as the subject line.