Depression and shyness often go hand in hand. Expressives and perpetually happy or self-assured people will often say, "What's wrong with you?! Just be happy." Book after book is written on how to be happy. So, why is happiness a choice for extroverts but not introverts? The answer is more biological than psychological.

Some people have naturally low seratonin levels. Seratonin is the hormone that makes people "happy" as expressives often perceive happiness. It's the same hormone that is converted into melatonin to sleep, which is why depressed (low seratonin levels) people have trouble sleeping. So, why do people think that happiness is a choice? You see, to many people with naturally high seratonin levels, they simply can't understand depression, as they've never really experienced it before. They assume sleeplessness is due to stress and thinking too much. They associate depression with worry:

"Don't worry," the expressive says. "Everything will be fine."
"I'm not worrying," the introvert replies.

True depression is really the lack of caring about anything at all. It's not worry, but quite the opposite. In fact, despite the myth, most people who commit suicide aren't depressed. When you're depressed, you may not care about living, but you also don't care about going out and killing yourself. So, why do introverts have lower seratonin levels than extroverts?

Shyness, like most things in life, is biological. Now, that's not to say that an introvert can never be an extrovert under the right conditions. Cortisol levels make a person less talkative and more shy. Cortisol is the hormone released by the adrenal glands to help us cope with stress. Prolonged high cortisol levels build up fat around the organs to protect them. That's why over-stressed people easily grow fat around their stomachs while loosing intromuscular fat. Cortisol also lowers testosterone and estrogen levels. You see, estrogen makes a person talkative and testosterone makes a person aggressive. Low hormone levels are associated with introversion. That's why adult Asians are perceived as so quiet and shy by Americans. They have naturally (cortisol being artificially, so to speak) low hormone levels. It's pretty much impossible to be shy with high hormone levels. For example, openly gay men (man-lovers) have ridiculously high hormone levels and they're typically very expressive.

So, if you have low hormone levels, you're just doomed to be depressed? Not quite. Just as prolonged exposure to cortisol while in the womb is often associated with elevated cortisol levels throughout life, people are often born with certain predisposition. However, many things raise seratonin levels--chocolate being the most famous besides drugs. Many things also raise estrogen and testosterone levels. Yet, consider shyness is a natural comfort zone. Altering hormones simply removes the barriers. It doesn't really expand an established comfort zone. You'll always be more comfortable one on one. The myth that you'll get more comfortable in front of crowds the more often you practice is just that; a myth. It depends on your hormone levels. You can give oral presentations until the cows come home, but it will only make things worse. Being tired raises cortisol, which is why people tend to be less talkative when they go without sleep. Also, being stressed (by having to speak in front of people) raises cortisol. So, you can see the vicious cycle that well-meaning expressives and extroverts try to trap shy people in. And, then, when the nervousness doesn't go away, they wonder, "What's wrong with you?" They try to get you to conform and be more like them by making you feel as though there's something wrong with you for feeling so nervous (i.e., you have a disorder). Alas, it's difficult for anyone to understand anyone besides themselves. Still, shyness and introversion lead to more introspective thinking, both of yourself and of people around you. That's why shy people are more intelligent and aware than other people. An expressive may ask, "How did you know that?" You may feel like saying, "Because I was paying attention while you were yacking away," but, being a true introvert, you hold your tongue.

Depression leads to sleeplessness and sleeplessness leads to depression. Why? You see, cortisol lowers seratonin levels too. it's a vicious cycle, but sleep really is the key. It may be harder for you than for others, but any effort is worthwhile. Turkey contains tryptophan, which makes you drowsy. Magnesium relaxes you. Eating the right carbohydrates (not sugar) helps the conversion of seratonin to melatonin. Fish oil balances hormone levels and lowers cortisol. And, keeping yourself in good condition will make you feel better about yourself and reduce controllable depression triggers. Really, I could go on and on. The hardest part of depression is making a conscious effort to combat it. Its' not as simple as "thinking happy thoughts", but being aware of why you feel depressed is the first key to combating it. It will always creep up now and again, but, with plenty of sleep and the right diet, deep depression may become a thing of the past. It may be difficult to deal with, but I find it a small price to pay for the quiet wisdom that comes from not being "mindlessly happy".

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Shyness