(Those Trekkies Never Had a Chance!)
If you think cheap, low-budget flops are amazing� Pfft. No wonder there�s so many. I�d MUCH rather wait five years to see a movie that was edited with care and by diligent people with SKILL.
2. None of Star Trek's leading characters have an interminable breathing obstruction.
None of Star Trek�s leading characters are all that imposing, either.
3. Star Trek doesn't have to resort to using petty telekinetic forces to make some action.
No, a bald dude in a chair is MUCH more exciting�
4. Strangely enough, all the leading ships in Star Wars are totally invincible to enemy fire
Yeah, except for the ones that are destroyed. Please, Trekkies, get a grip and face the facts! Mon Cal�s no what the hell they�re doing when they custom-build each ship BY HAND.
5. Star Wars' storyline is either so difficult to understand, or so badly written, that they need to tell us it by scrolling it on the screen before the film starts.
The entire galaxy is on the brink of destruction by ruthless Sith? That�s difficult to understand? I think your brains have been simplified even more so by staring at a bunch of wackos in tacky jumpsuits trying to get home. I�m sure there�s medication for this somewhere out there�
6. And which was created first?
Oh, you got me there. Trek did come first� but who had better special FX than sparkles in water? Oh wait! Original ST was even before THAT! My memory must be slipping, but� which present-day millionaire producer/director was the first to use a blue screen for a white background? What? I can�t hear you�
7. Which sounds better: a 'hyperdrive motivator' or a 'warp core'?
Which adds more to the plot: a big prissy ship that never has any problems� or a souped-up freighter with extra weapons out the wazzoo, illegally modified military long-range scanners, with a hyperdrive that forces the captain and very SMALL crew to prove their skills by fixing the damn thing whilst giving the Imperial NAVY the run of their lives through an ASTEROID field?
8. Star Trek doesn't have some stupid hairy monster out of Bigfoot and The Hendersons
Chewbacca would not only prove that he�s TALLER and STRONGER than either Bigfoot OR Hairy, but he would rip your arms out of their sockets without blinking an eye� and then he�d finish kicking the tar out of the tyrannical government that held him and the rest of his kind slaves for years.
9. One letter: Q.
Yeah, that is one letter, isn�t it? Very good!
10. DS9's Dabo girls vs. no women at Tatooine's spaceport bar.
Well, yeah the Tonika SISTERS, who were actually Mystral spies weren�t women, were they? Honestly. If you can�t notice them when the camera CENTERS ON THEM, you really need more help than I thought. A plus with the Mystral, though. Not only are they beautiful, but they would kick your ass without a second thought. Did I mention they were in the Cantina looking for someone to help them take sweet revenge?