Well, where do I begin. I guess it would be where I met my husband of 21 years. Twenty-one years seems like a long time, yet not really long enough for a marriage. I worked at it, and then it was over. I can't say that he didn't work for it either, just not as hard as I did. I met Terry one evening when a friend that I was sharing a place with and I went out for an evening of dancing. We went to a nightclub that we didn't normally go to. Terry was the attraction for the evening. He and his country group performed that night. During a break, he and one of his musicians came to our table to chat. Well, it went from there, we dated a while, then married. I was hesitant at first, even had family members tell me it wouldn't work out, we would be divorced within a year. I had to show them wrong, and we remained married 21 years. There were a lot of ups and downs, have to admit for the first 15 years mostly ups. Then the "downs" came. I won't mention the problem that developed in our marriage, it would hurt too many people, namely my kids. I worked so hard to take care of the problem, but to no avail. But I am skipping ahead, right? Here is the story of my 21 years as a Goffee.
Within the first year of our marriage, my son was born. Such a blessing. Carissa was a little jealous at first, but adjusted to not having "ALL" the attention. I can't help but mention once incident that was totally cute, yet scary at the time. I had a hard time healing after Terry's birth, and had to lie down on the sofa with the bassenet legs lowered so that Terry could be even with me. I needed something while changing his diaper one evening and asked Carissa to get it for me. She just sat there. I asked her again, still no reaction. Finally I had to raise my voice, it definitely got her attention and she started walking toward the bedroom to get what I needed. On her way, I heard her mumbling. She said "I will just run away and live with Wonder Woman". Wonder Woman was her favorite show at the age of three and a half. When she returned, I felt I needed to nip that statement in the bud. Didn't want her trying to run away. I told her that she couldn't run away because for one mommy would miss her too much, and that she wouldn't find Wonder Woman. She said, oh yes she would. I finally told her that Wonder Woman wasn't real, and she flipped. She thought I was lying to her, and wouldn't accept the fact that I was telling the truth. When it finally hit home, she bawled her eyes out. Finding out there was no Wonder Woman ruined her world, lol. I let her help me change Terry after that, and be involved in little things with him, and she finally adjusted to sharing her time with him. She became quite the little mama, and remained that day until they grew up. Well, as years went by, but before Carissa was in school, we moved to California, then Florida. Terry wanted to further his singing career, so we made the moves. He was actually quite good. While in Florida, Terry began going into a depression and bad time. Ended up finding out he wanted God in his life. He was raised Catholic and I a Baptist. I explained a lot of things to him. We ended up in church and he began singing southern Gospel music. He wrote a lot of his own stuff. He did well with that, began traveling all over the United States. I would go with him, when I didn't have to work. When Terry, my son, was in 7th grade, I took him out of school to home school him. I don't regret doing that. He was a very smart boy, and is an extremely intelligent man today. His iq rated one below genius. After the home schooling began, he began traveling with his father as a sound man. He is quite good with sound today because of it. That gave his father someone to travel with when I couldn't go, which was most of the time. We moved around to many different houses, and even a few states over the years. I hate it that my two kids didn't have the stability of attending only one school during their school years, and not being able to keep the friends they made. It didn't have a lasting effect on them, I don't believe. Well, one I guess, lol. Within two or three years of her marriage, she owns a home, my son's is almost completed that he is having built. They said they wanted their children to have stability of being able to attend the same school their whole school age life. Other than that, they are both real rounded individuals. Very good people. They were fortunate to have married excellent partners. I pray they have many good years to come, and believe they will. I jump around a lot with this part of my life, but that is because 21 years is a lot of time to cover.
I mentioned above about Carissa remaining her brothers "little mother" while growing up. Here is an example of it. It is too cute. When Terry was in kindergarten, and Carissa in third grade, she fought a boy that tried to mess with him. There was this bully that bothered Terry every day. He lived in the apartment complex that we lived in. One day, when they got off the bus, the bully ran in his apartment and grabbed a butcher knife and took off after my son. Carissa saw it, threw her books down, and took off after the bully. She caught hold of him, threw him to the ground, and he took off running. After hearing about it, it scared the begeebies out of me, Carissa could have been stabbed by the bully. I had the family evicted from the apartments. Naturally, that constituted an immediate eviction.
Throughout the years we lived in four different states. Three of them were for Terry's singing career, and one was a transfer I took with my job. That move was to Missouri. I liked it out there, liked it a lot, but after over a year, got homesick, as every time before, and came back to Ohio. By then, Carissa was 18 and Terry was 15. That was our last big move. For the first time in our marriage, we owned our own home. It was a mobile home, but it was ours. Felt pretty good. After that, things started going sour in our marriage. I nearly filed four years before I actually did, but decided to try and work things out. I gave it my all. I gave more like 200%, than the 100% they say you should give. Finally, in 1997, first of November, I asked for a divorce. The divorce was quick, it was over in April of '98.
He didn't want the divorce, not a bit. I just couldn't handle it though, and went through with it. It wasn't an easy divorce. I thought I would have a nervous break down before it was over, but I made it just fine. Two months after our divorce was completed, he remarried. I remarried two years later. I can't and won't say it was all bad. We had some awesome times. But always during those good times, the bad was lurking. It was there, I just didn't know it. It built and festered until it ended what I thought was a good marriage. I have no regrets about that marriage. It taught me a lot. He taught me a lot, and I taught him as well. I think we are both better people for it.
My daughter married a wonderful man, good provider, great father. They have two children, Tylar whom is now 9, and Bailee whom is 7. Terry married a woman made for him. She took all the wildness out of him, lol, and he too is a great father , husband, and provider. They have two children also, Taylor age 5, and TJ (my dude) age 2. Couldn't ask for better grandchildren, or any more beautiful than these four. Couldn't ask for a better family.
Guess I really didn't touch on much about these years. Basically just summarized it. If I got into many detailed situations, this page would never end. Just wanted you to know about this part of my life. Guess I will move on now to "That Crazy Year". This was the period of time, the one wild year, before meeting my now, and permanent husband. I am getting too old to start over, and train another man, lol. |
