When I say this year was crazy, that is an understatement. As you know by now Terry and I divorced. I lived in Oberlin, managing a retirement center. I liked my job, really loved dealing with the seniors. There were a few there that I grew quite attached to. Never should do that in a job, especially with the ages of some of those people. There was a woman named Tina (short for her actual name). She was from Russia. During the WWII she was a prisoner in a concentration camp. Our American Soldiers rescued her, and she felt she owed them big time. She would go do chores, etc. for them for nothing. She met a soldier, fell in love, and married him. She then came to the states where they lived happily until his death. She told me so much about her life, in the camp, and a horrible life that happened to her, dealt to her by her adopted daughter, once her husband died. Tina could have no children because of damage done to her in the camp. I won't go into the story, but I loved that woman. So pure and good. She died while I worked there. As she was leaving on the stretcher to the hospital, she begged me not to let them take her, cause she knew she would not return. I assured they were going to make her better and she would be home in no time. It didn't happen, she never returned home, she died in the hospital. That affected me for a long time. Another person I grew to love was Judd. He was still living when I left, and was 101 years old. When he died, he was, I think, 104. He still walked around town, said it kept him young and alive. He told me stories about his past, and I loved hearing them. He remembered his youth so vividly. Well enough of that, guess I will get on with the craziness after my divorce.
I swore I would never marry again. I needed to be my own person. More about that later. I had it horribly bad during and right after the divorce. My ex staulked me. I would go to a grocery store, he was there. No matter where I went, I would turn around and find him. He would start the begging and crying thing in front of whoever was there. Finally I would not go anyplace unless mom or someone was with me. I didn't bring my two kids into it, didn't think they needed to know what was going on. Didn't bring my family in it either, but he sure did. He called my sisters telling them how he cared about them, and asked them to talk to me, so I would go back with him. He told a lot of stuff, in the end, that made me look like the bad guy. He told this to my kids. They began watching me also. I got to the point where I would lock myself in my apartment, stay on the computer and talk to people from around Ohio. I didn't want to go to my kids homes, cause of what he was telling them, he even had my mother involved. Had her convinced I should return to him. Finally it all came to a head. Me and ex came to blows, not physically, but verbally. I told my kids why I divorced, and they ended up discovering the stuff they were told by him about me were not true. Finally, I started going to bars with a friend I met on the computer. She lived near me. I did that every weekend, and that was bad. I wasn't a bar person. But I needed an escape from everything, and that helped me escape. I dated around, never wanting to get serious with anyone. I hated that life. It made me begin to think I should have never gotten divorced after all. Finally, once the divorce was final, everything calmed down. Mom was no longer down my back, nor were my kids. My ex finally left me alone, he had found a new love.
I had quit my job at the retirement center, because, for one reason, the stress I went through, and other reasons as well. I got another job, and ended up sharing an apartment with one of the women I worked with. One night after work, she asked me to stop in a bar by work with her, because she was to meet someone there for a drink. I didn't want to, but she ended up talking me into it. Guess it was a good thing she did, I met my future husband there. He was with the man that my roommate was to meet. Don wasn't a drinker, he didn't frequent bars, guess it was fate that he was there. The man my roommate was meeting was at Don's shop, and asked him to go with him to meet my roomie for a drink, and they would shoot a couple games of pool. Don wasn't going to go, but finally figured what the heck. Well, we all sat at a table and talked, Don ended up asking me if I would like to go to the movies the next evening, I said yes. We went to see "Saving Private Ryan". What a mistake. I cried my eyes out, on a first date yet, lol. Well, after the date, he took me home. When I got up the next morning, someone had broken the rear window out of my car. I called Don, cause he owned an Auto Body shop, so figured he would fix it cheaper than taking it somewhere else. Me and my son took the car to his shop. I made my son go with me, cause I didn't know Don very well, and didn't want to be alone in his shop with him. I wasn't planning on a relationship with him. Don fixed my window, and wouldn't let me pay a thing for it. That impressed me. He knew I didn't have the funds to pay for something like that, without taking out of bill money. At first I thought, ok, I see what is up, this man is trying to impress me so I will go to bed with him, lol. Ended up, after seeing him for a while, finding out that this was just Don. No strings. He gives freely anything he has, especially his time. I can't count the times he helped my two kids, giving his time freely. They appreciate him a lot. Don has his faults, guess we all do. But his goodness outweighs his faults. It is funny that we got along so well because we are total opposites. I always had to be totally dressed to the nines, he always wore flannel shirts and jeans. I wore a Gucci watch, he didn't care for watches. Our likes and dislikes are totally opposite of each other. Yet, something clicked. Something was just right about us. We got along great, and he kept on and on showing his goodness. He is a little rough around the edges, but guess he is the man for me anyway because Don and I ended up getting married two years after we met. For more of the "now" me, you will have to read my next page, "Then there's now". |
