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Lalu special

Once Laloo Prasad of Bihar, sent his bio data to America to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation. A few days later he got this reply:- "Dear Mr. Laloo prasad, You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained. Thanks" Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply. He arranged a party and when all the guests had come, he said "Bhaiyonaur Behno,aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hoon." Everyone was delighted. Laloo prasad continued...... "Ab main aap sab ko apnaa appointment letter padkar sunaongaa par letter angreeze main hai isliyen saath-saath hindi main translate bhee karoonga. Dear Mr. Laloo prasad-----pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya You do not meet----aap to miltay hee naheen ho our requirement----humko to zaroorat hai Please do not send any furthur correspondance----ab Letter vetter bhej ne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee. No phone call ----phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai shall be entertained----bahut khaatir kee jayegi. Thanks----aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.

Sardar Jokes

1

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says, " it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief'.".

2

An Englishman, an American and a Sardarji are called upon to test a lie detector . The Englishman says: "I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. "Ok", he says, "10 bottles". And the machine is silent. The American says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. "Allright, 8 hamburgers". And the machine's silent. The Sardarji says: "I think...", BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.

3

Santa and Banta work in a software company. One day, they were to move their m/cs to another building. Santa was having a tough time carrying his machine. Santa : "My m/c has 500 MB disk. See how easily I am carrying it. Yours has just 250 MB. Can't you carry even this much?" Banta : "But yours is empty and my disk is full"!!!

4

Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?" The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

5

A sardarji with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to your other ear?" "The scoundrel called back."

6

Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he the column SEX. He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote THRICE A WEEK. On seeing this in his appln. form, he was told that it was wrong and what they wanted it to be filled was either MALE or FEMALE. Again our sardar thought for a long time before coming up with the answer PREFERABLY FEMALES.

7

One great day in Bombay, One young couple was on honeymoon tour. They saw one Sardarji in front of Hospital ( Bridge Candy ) was trying to fill some form. So eagerly couple enquired " aare Sardarji kya kar raahe ho " Sardarji replied that I had a baby and I am filling the birth certificate form. Young Couple as per preshedule, they took the Bombay to Delhi Flight for their next destination. On the very next day, they find the same Sardarji, in front of Lal Qilla in Delhi filling the same form. So once again young couple curiously asked "Aare Sardarji kya kar raahe ho" sardarji once again replied that I had a baby and I am filling the birth certificate form. Couple said, "But sardarji yesterday you were in Bombay filling the same form. Why are you in Delhi ?". Sardaji cooly replied "Aare Saab Ye form mein leekha hey ke FILL IN CAPITAL" Aap ko etna bhi patta nahi hei .. Ha Ha Ha.....

8

Q: HOW DO YOU KEEP A SARDARJI BUSY ALL DAY? A: Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner.

9

Q: How do you make a sardarji laugh on Saturday? A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

10

Q: Why did the sardarji stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

11

Q: How do you keep a sardarji busy? A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

12

Q: Why can't sardarjis make ice cubes? A: They always forget the recipe.

13

Q: How did the sardarji try to kill the bird? A: He threw it off a cliff.

14

Q: Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie? A: Because below 18 was not allowed !!!

15

Q: What do you call a sardarji in an institution of higher learning? A: A visitor.

16

Q: A sardarji ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

18

sardarji #1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?" sardarji #2: "No, who wrote it?"

19

What about the sardarji wife who gave birth to twins? Her husband is out looking for the other man.

20

sardarji: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?" MAN: "It's 3:15." sardarji: (puzzled look on his face) "You know, it's the wierdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."

21

A sardarji was driving down the highway to Disneyland when he saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, he said to himself "oh well !" and turned around and drove home.

22

A Master Thief in London was giving a Coaching Class on Stealing and had students from all over the world. The Indian happened to be a Sardar. After several grueling classes on Theory came the final and decisive class of all, a practical demo. The master took all his pupils to a house nearby in the darkness of night and entered that. But by mistake he overturns a vase. Owner : Who's that? Master: Miaooow... The owner is satisfied and goes back to sleep. Mission accomplished. The sardar is very impressed. Returning to Punjab, he decides to open a similar class for his fellow sardars. Does so and follows the same schedule of theory classes. Then he goes for the demo with his pupils. Enters the house of a rich sardar in darkness, and tells the other sardars, " This are the various steps for stealing. You just observe. " Firstly, he goes and overturns a vase. Owner : Koun Hai ? ( Who's that ? ) Sardar : Mai Billi . ( I am the cat.) Owner : Oh, Billi ( Oh. Cat. ) and goes back to sleep.

23

Q:) Why does sardarji brings binoculers in his own marriage? A:) To see his far relatives

24

Once upon a time, a Sardarji saw a boy who wore his cap in the back direction. This event really harrased the social nature of sardarji and then he also decided to wear his pagari in the backward direction .While he was on his way to his office another Sardar saw him and asked "Sardar ji aa rahe ho ke jaa rahe ho"

25

Once a Sardarji was going to his office. On the way he slipped on a banana peel and was badly hurt. Next day , on his way to the office, he noticed a banana peel and Later after two days, he noticed two banana peels and exclaimed" ari sala, aaj to choice hai"!!!!!!