- A fellows student talking about the scratch he got from falling off his bike.
"Jon...Go buy a Ken doll, rip its head off and shove it up its own @$$...that's you..."
- Susie Emo (My aunt), after I told her that I'd been missing classes for the last two days because of daylight savings time.
"Man who go to bed with itchy but wake up with...STINKY FINGER."
- Erik Odom, trying to come up with his own Chinese Wise Man Saying. This phrase had me cracking up all night a few years ago at Far East Drama. It's a classic that deserves to be on this page.
Mrs. Laughlin: I just want to stop the car and slap her in the face...
Mr. Laughlin: ...on our way to church...
- Mrs. Laughlin voicing everyone's sentiments in the ride to church after we got stuck behind some lady going about 5 miles per hour.
"Eliza Dushku? ALBANIAN."
- Tony, revealing to me Eliza's ethnic background and showing off his national pride...Also Albanian: The Belushi Brothers and the guy who won the Nobel Prize for inventing Viagra. Bet you didn't know that, did you?
MR. GUIDRY: So, what do you do besides sewing?
JON: ...uh...I don't sew...
MR. GUIDRY: NO! You SEW!
- My COSTUMES teacher after he saw my sewing. I guess I'm really good or something.
Avi: Why do they call him the bullet dodger?
Tony: Because he dodges bullets...
- SNATCH
Me: Who's Phil? (someone laughs)
MyLynn: What?
Me: Oh, who's Phil? (pointing to "Phil's Festival" on the calendar...
MyLynn:...Philipino's Festival...
- at the Asian Students in America (A.S.I.A.) meeting
"HEY, LOOK! A little kid! ...that's not a little kid, is it?"
- Me, not wearing my glasses, seeing a really short guy in the Marshall Center...I realized my mistake after he went to the ATM.
"This better make my @$$ look good..."
- There's this gay guy in my Technical Theatre class. He said that after I started climbing up a ladder after him...
"Dude, you are so gay..."
- Same gay guy after he found out that his roommate was in the Costume segment of Technical Theatre...that's where I have to go once the lighting segment is finished.
"...SHUT...UP..."
- My College Algebra teacher. He doesn't speak fluent English, he has like a Mrs. Bean accent. But, he was writing on the board and suddenly turned around and busted out with that.
"The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they will be when you kill them."
- I heard it from MIKE OWENS.
"BASKET WEAVING..."
- SARAH MOYER'S major in College. Proposals of "Living in a van by the river" and "Chinese Acupuncture" were shot down...
- David Fondacaro on why his day was so good...
"Why do I get the feeling you're going to be the death of me?"
- Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) to Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christenson) - Star Wars: Episode II
"See what I told you about the shocks?"
- Jason Statham in THE TRANSPORTER
"...match made in heaven, struck the side of a conflict...soon burnt out, leaving the ashes of what once was..."
- A portion of TIM AKERS MSN screen name. It made me kind of sad, but it was sexy.
"...too much pride, between you and I, not a jealous man, but females lie..."
- One of Fred Allison's MSN screen names.