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. Inside The Egg .
Part 1/4
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Title: Inside the Egg
Author: cookatwork
Fandom: HtlJ
Pairing: Iphicles/Strife
Summary: Strife disappears - people suspect Iphicles is responsible ( courtesy of the Incredible Hercules Random Plot Generator which also provided me with the words stuffy / gossamer / sigil to use in my attempt ).
Archive: out of the kitchen, my lj, StrifeLust
Feedback: will be greatly appreciated - honestly
Rating: PG13 I think ( it will go up in the next parts )
Warning: this is my first ever story and English is not my first language
Disclaimer: I know perfectly well that this isn't going to save my ass in the unforseeable case that somebody is going to sue me. All the characters in my story belong to RenPics. I just borrowed them to have some fun and I'm sure as Tartarus not making any money with it.
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Iolaus found the Corinthian castle even gloomier than a crypt. Not that he had visited that many crypts in his life, but he still pictured them as equally somber. He stumbled behind Hercules through shady hallways, dimly lit rooms and outright dark passages. Somewhere around here had to be Iphicles' personal bedroom, if he recalled it right. He didn't look forward to the upcoming confrontation. It would have been easier if he could've supported Hercules in any way. But after trying to flirt with a seemingly nice and pretty young woman who turned out to be a high-priestess of Artemis he wasn't in any shape - literally - to support anybody.
'Just my bad luck, I guess,' Iolaus sighed inwardly, 'any other time else wouldn't have made such a difference. And I really don't remember pissing off the God of Bad timing that much.'
Stumbling over yet another loose stone in the dull grey floor he cursed himself for being an idiot in general and an idiot with the wrong number of too short legs in particular.
'And let's not forget an idiot with enough hair to effectively blind me,' Iolaus added mentally.
'But one thing I know for sure,' Iolaus thought, ' when I get my normal body back, I will never ever go knowingly anywhere near Artemis. Or any of her temples. Or any of her priestesses. I won't live on the same earth as she as far as I'm concerned.'
'Okay, if it were a matter of life and death maybe. But otherwise Artemis has to live without me. Her loss.'
But right at this moment even his admittedly severe problems were not important enough, and so he trotted on behind his best friend to meet Iphicles, who was in his personal chambers - if the head of the guards spoke the truth. Iolaus tried not to grit his teeth upon recalling the scene when Hercules and he had reached the gates. Under normal circumstances the guards would've greeted them both friendly and let them pass without much further ado, maybe a little friendly joking would've passed between them. But now Hercules was asked if he wanted the stable boys to take care of 'that'. And with 'that' they'd meant him. It would've been amusing if it wasn't yet another reminder of his incompetence in dealing with pretty ladies and the goddesses who protected them. But Iolaus knew that Hercules' mind and his fear was already ahead of them, and so he had just staggered behind his friend.
'And staggering being the operative word here,' he thought, annoyed. Whoever built this castle did it purposefully to make his day miserable, because no one in their right mind would've built such gibbous floors and steep stairs just for the fun of it.
'Gods, what am I doing here? I should be somewhere in the nearest temple of Artemis, preferably on my knees and begging for forgiveness. Or at least a hair-cut.'
But inside he knew the answer already. He was here simply because Hercules was here. With the added complication that Hercules didn't want to be here at the same time. It didn't make a lot of sense, but Iolaus just knew one thing - Hercules was stalling. Seen from the outside Hercules would have seemed determined to get to his brother but Iolaus knew the signs that said something completely different. And he didn't like them. He didn't like the nervousness creeping into Hercules' back, making it stiff and graceless. He minded the uneasiness settling in Hercules' arms, making him clench his hands every once in a while. And he particularly hated the little signs of fear slithering up his friend's body like a snake, making him tremble ever so slightly. Nobody would have noticed it, but Iolaus knew Hercules far too well not to see the ghostly trembling in the impressive frame.
'Like the wind blows through a birch and the leaves do that fluttering, flickering thing,' Iolaus mused. Which was totally weird, but not to be changed immediately because his mind - grateful for being momentarily distracted - conjured up more images, and Iolaus simply had to smile inwardly because Hercules was anything but birch-like. But he could do that flickering, fluttering, rippling -
'Tartarus - what is it that birches do when they do that thing,' Iolaus thought to himself. He was at a loss for words for that special movement. In his mind he could easily see a birch standing in the sunlight, a gentle breeze making its way through the tree and the leaves doing something. They flickered and trembled, they made the sunlight sparkle upon them and they did ... -
'That thing they always do when a wind blows through them,' Iolaus abruptly finished his useless musings, slightly annoyed with himself because Hercules was no birch; there was no sunlight and certainly no gentle breeze.
'Although it would do this place plenty of good. Haven't they heard about fresh air around here?' Iolaus thought. 'Yes, I know. Corinth is an ancient residence. Older than dirt. A fortress against barbarism and hostile forces for centuries. But why do they have to collect the dust of said centuries to prove it?'
He desperately wanted to sneeze or at least snort, which was a lot easier to accomplish in his current condition, but he could tell by the speed of their steps alone that Hercules was hesitating upon approaching the door to the king's bedchamber. Right on cue Hercules stopped at a corner and seemed to be contemplating which turn they should take.
'Sure, Herc. You've only been in this castle, what, a few hundred times as a youth, and some mere dozens or so since your brother became the king. That's hardly enough to get acquainted with the short-cuts.'
The moment he thought it, Iolaus felt guilty. Picking on Hercules was normally one of his favorite ways to pass some time, but right now it didn't seem right. Iolaus sighed but he couldn't help it. Their hasty travel to Corinth was made worse with every stop at an inn or tavern. Everywhere they met people and talked to them. Everywhere they simply had to stop because otherwise even the 'mighty and powerful' Hercules might have dropped unconscious to the floor.
'Most probably because by that time he would have had to carry his best friend for a long time,' Iolaus thought.
It was more like they both were on the run from a horrendous fate or a meeting with the Queen of the Gods than a trip. But he couldn't blame Hercules for it. It was one thing to be outraged by rumours blaming your brother for the sudden disappearance of a god, but it was an altogether different thing to confront the same brother with it. And it seemed that a confrontation was no longer to be avoided because despite Hercules' best efforts to take some more turns they reached the doomed door to Iphicles' bedroom. Hercules didn't have any talent for fidgeting, but his muscles did that birch-thing again. And Iolaus didn't like it now any better then he had on the way to this room.
"Don't bother with the door."
It was the voice rather then the words that stopped Hercules in his steps.
"Now why am I not surprised to find you here, Ares?" Hercules asked, sounding more exhausted than angry. Iolaus, who just barely managed to not crash into Hercules' behind after the sudden stop, glanced at the dark shadows from where the deep voice came, wondering all the same what Ares was up to this time.
Ares sat on the sill of a fake window, perhaps meant to be some kind of alcove, but barely used if the gossamer webs covering the upper vault were any indication. From Iolaus' point of view, it looked like the mighty Ares was actually moping, or perhaps just sulking. But he definitely didn't look like a happy camper at the moment.
'But when did he ever?' Iolaus asked himself. 'He's pissed on general principle, not because something actually got in his way. It's no help at all that he's looking sullen.'
"Perhaps because your mortal half-brother doesn't share your views about your immortal one?" came Ares' lazy reply. He didn't make any attempts to attack them or even to get up. Although Iolaus knew that the god didn't have to get up like a mortal to get the needed balance to maim him, he felt slightly insulted. But Ares just continued to sit in his spider-ridden alcove and be an annoyance.
Hercules sighed.
"I can't tell Iphicles not to go along with the plans and schemes you're using him for."
The first part was true. Even Iolaus, who was sometimes optimistic beyond the threshold of human endurance, could not say otherwise. The relationship between the two brothers was a little bit strained, if one wanted to put it very mildly, and non-existent if one had to be blunt about it. And Iphicles didn't take advice, criticism or even a simple conversation about anything concerning him or his reign as king very kindly.
"For my plans and schemes? I'm insulted, little brother. Why not for my pleasure?"
Iolaus found that Ares didn't look particularly insulted but unbearably smug and he didn't like the way Hercules' shoulders tensed or his jaw clenched. He knew that anger was uncoiling inside his friend like a viper in the warm sunlight. He saw it rearing its head in the sudden stiffness of Hercules' neck, heard its first hissing welcome in the way Hercules breathed in through his nose and watched how the scraping of its scales made Hercules' biceps tick. Iolaus knew he wouldn't stand a chance between the two of them but he also wouldn't risk letting Hercules' fear get the better of his friend. But the moment Iolaus decided to step between the brothers, the angry snake lost its battle and Hercules slowly let out the breath he was holding.
If sighing was an indicator for stress, Hercules was reaching his limits pretty quickly by the tremendous heave he managed.
"Don't you start with that." Hercules sounded way too calm to actually be at ease with the situation. " I absolutely don't want to hear about my brother being involved with someone like you. Is that clear?"
Although Hercules wasn't exactly snapping, Iolaus was left with his mouth hanging open. Maybe his friend wasn't reaching any limits; perhaps he already crossed the border to something more than just furious anger. He couldn't recall any meeting with Ares that had reached this point of animosity so fast. And judging by Ares' puzzled look, neither could he.
"Oooh. We're a little bit miffed today." Came Ares' reply.
Iolaus thought Ares sounded miffed as well, but there was so much false sympathy in his voice that it was hard to tell. With any other person or even another god it would have sounded like concern, but since this emotion involved actually caring for another person, that ruled Ares out.
"Well, I beg your pardon, little brother, but it seems Iphicles has been stepping on toes regularly in the past few days."
It was getting better with each passing minute, Iolaus decided. Now Ares looked actually insulted, like somebody had dared not to be impressed by his imaginary overwhelming sexiness. Iolaus snorted at that thought, but a double glare from both brothers ended it there and then.
"He didn't step on my toes." This time Iolaus would have called the sound 'snapping',but he knew that the serpent-like fear about his brother inside Hercules wasn't mastered or tamed. Quite the contrary. With Ares practically lounging on the doorstep all the rumors suddenly took on a fatal edge and the beast once more uncoiled from its dungeon ready to strike at any given moment. "We were in Thessaly when we first heard people talk about Iphicles holding a god captive. Later the rumors claimed that it was Strife he 'abducted'."
Hercules had a hard time giving his incredulity the proper amount of disdain. And Iolaus once more could empathize with him. It was completely insane but he knew that Hercules would take any risks if Iphicles were somehow involved with Strife of all the gods.
"Iolaus and I came to Corinth not because I believe these rumors, but if Iphicles is in any way involved with Strife, I want to be here to help my brother. But that's nothing you would understand." Hercules was slowly losing the battle against his inner demons. Iolaus was sure about it and he just hoped against hope that Ares would simply tell them what he knew about those rumors and be done with it. But somehow Iolaus doubted that they would be so lucky. And he was right.
"That reminds me - where did you leave the blonde pest?" Ares asked, not really caring but unwilling to let a potential victim slip through. And Iolaus felt suddenly very hot. He was praying to every deity he'd ever heard of just to make his best friend find the right words to describe the humiliating situation.
"We met a pretty young woman three days from here."
"Let me guess. He talked her up and is gone for good - or until her husband finds out."
Anger wasn't exactly the right word to describe the feeling inside him, but Iolaus was sure he would've given certain body parts just to shut the God of War up. Preferably in a bloody and disfiguring fashion.
"No. She was a high priestess of Artemis."
Ares looked blankly at his brother, clearly trying to find the hidden meaning in that statement before his head swivelled around and he stared at Iolaus, who had just enough time to think 'He will never let me live that down', before the God of War nearly exploded with laughter.
"She turned him ... Bwuahahaha."
'Typical. He can't even finish a simple sentence.'
"Artemis turned ... Hahahaha ...Iolaus into ..."
'It's completely disgusting. Will you just get over it?'
"You mean that is Iolaus?" Ares pointed a finger at him shakily.
'That's it. God of War - if you don't have any more use for that finger, it's ok with me.'
"My sister's truly wei- OW! - He bit me!" Ares shook his hand and glared menacingly at Hercules, who in turn just shrugged.
"What do you expect. He's still Iolaus. Artemis only changed his looks, not his personality."
Iolaus found his vision suddenly filled with a grinning Ares, and decided he could live without that picture. Even with his mane hanging down his nose he could see the hiked eyebrows very well. Ares lifted a hand to remove the hair, but Iolaus just bared his rather large teeth as a sign of disapproval. And Ares understood the hint perfectly well.
"You mean he understands what we're talking about?"
"Would you believe it if he turned around and kicked your ass?" Hercules asked deadpan, and Iolaus was more than tempted to turn around and make it happen.
But it seemed that Ares had decided that being bitten by Iolaus was something he could live with, while getting a kick in some sensitive body parts was something he could live without. Iolaus was sure Ares wouldn't forget this little episode though, if the alarming amount of teeth he was showing in an attempt to smile was any indication.
"But at least she got him in character. I mean, turning him into a pony is bad enough, but making him a midget pony is truly humiliating." He didn't lose that terrifying smile, which made it all the more unbearable.
Iolaus felt how his ears leaned back against his skull and wondered - very briefly - if he would ever master the art of controlling them. He wasn't used to ears that twitched in every possible direction and apparently had a life of their own. Then he simply turned around and showed the still smirking god his backside.
'My - we're fast today, aren't we?'
Iolaus asked himself, amused, as he heard Ares making some gasping noise, and after that the sound of boots growing weaker as the God of War retreated. Iolaus wasn't the type of man to let anything hinder him from a perfectly good kick, least of all his stature. And it seemed that Ares wasn't the type of god to let anyone kick him in the breadbasket just to prove a point.
'Here you go, Ares. Five kicks for free and the rest for small changes. I'll bet Salmoneus could come up with a better ad in no time.' Iolaus couldn't stop himself from neighing and shaking his head.
"He reminds me of a race of ponies Caesar mentioned. On one of the isles of Brittania they breed a special form of pony. Smaller than any other race and twice as stubborn as a mule. I think that's what Artemis had in mind when she changed him. My sister really has a way to deal with men, don't you think so?"
"Honestly I don't know, and I really couldn't care less if she has. I'm here to see Iphicles, if you remember, and try to find out who or what's behind those rumors." Hercules made sure to put the right edge of frustration into his voice so that Iolaus knew instantly that nothing had been achieved, and they once more had served as a mere entertainment for the God of War.
"I'm really sorry to be the one to tell you the truth, you know?" Apparently Hercules didn't know that and judging by the way his eyebrows hiked, didn't believe it any more than he believed the rumors that had brought them here.
"But those are no rumors, you see." No, Hercules didn't see that either, because he still looked more tired and stressed out than convinced. And Ares - again sitting in his little niche - sounding anything but sorry about telling him absolutely nothing, was no help at all. His voice was so thick with mock sympathy Iolaus wondered why he didn't choke on it.
"As far as I know - and I know a lot more than you - it's the truth people are spreading."
Ares had to be the only god in the whole pantheon who could manage to look both stuffy and smug at the same time, but Hercules was a tough match with his outrageous concern. Perhaps if he could take back the wide eyed look a little bit, he would beat Ares as the most gifted actor, Iolaus thought.
"You're lying. As always."
Hercules would have sounded totally convinced to anybody else, but Iolaus saw Hercules' spine going stiff and his neck taut with tension. He knew that his friend was anxious to get to Iphicles, but he also knew that Ares simply wouldn't allow it if they were going to cut off his amusement. And Iolaus began to hate it that he was always right.
"I'm not." The god in question said flatly. "Why should I? I don't gain anything with lying."
Which was even more surprising because it was the truth. He couldn't gain anything with telling such lies. He would look like a fool for having such an inept second-in-command. He would put some unnecessary strain on his relationship with Iphicles and, he already had Hercules riled up just with being here.
"But I can prove it to you. Right now. This very minute. That is, if you're brave enough." Again Iolaus was wondering what Ares was up to exactly, what reaction he desired to provoke, and why he had to be so incredibly mock-friendly about it.
'As if anybody would fall for it,' Iolaus mused inwardly.
Hercules looked surprised, which was no small feat for him because it involved another facial expression than the slightly supressed fear about Iphicles, and Iolaus could tell he was worrying far too much to give it up for some mere astonishment.
"Nobody knows where Strife vanished to, but I'm sure Iphicles has nothing to do with it! He wouldn't do such a thing, even if he could." Iolaus heard the unspoken denial. Yes, Hercules was convinced his brother wouldn't do such a thing, but it was more the conviction that Iphicles couldn't do such a thing.
And that had been the main point of earlier discussions and later - after the meeting with Artemis - monologues on their rushed journey to Corinth. Both men knew that gossip started mostly with exaggerating some facts and telling the personal choice of half-truths, but saying the mortal king of Corinth held a god captive obviously lacked any kind of credibility. Up to this point Iolaus had been convinced that everything was a great big lie, but here he saw the 'mighty' Ares - obviously annoyed with the king or perhaps with the rumors- and still waiting at the door like a good little mortal. Iolaus became intrigued by what was really happening in Corinth, in the castle, in that bedroom behind the ominous door.
"Hah! " Snorted Ares. "He can and he did!" Apparently Ares had stopped questioning those rumors some time ago. Now he sounded like a former disbeliever already proven wrong by reality.
Suddenly he jumped up and started pacing in the hallway. Hercules - genuinely surprised by his brother's sudden urge to move around aimlessly - was now also aware of the facts. Iphicles might be mortal, but why on Gods' earth did Ares wait instead of transporting right into the bedroom and telling Iphicles a thing or two about the proper way to treat gods? Hercules looked at the door again and became suddenly very intrigued by what he saw. Iolaus was at a loss again because he saw nothing more than a fairly common oak door, not especially sturdy, with no other ornament but a seal in the form of a sun, moon , or some other round thing. Hercules got a little bit closer to the door to examine the seal, which was right in the middle of the door, and Iolaus followed close on his heels. Only to discover yet another disadvantage of being a rather short pony because he had to crane his neck really awkwardly to get a look at the mysterious thing on the door. It was definitely something round and it was carved out of some kind of shell or pearl because it was vaguely iridescent. Iolaus couldn't say if there were any inscriptions on its surface but it was clear - judging by the scrutinizing look he gave it - that Hercules hadn't seen this thing before, and especially not on the door to his brother's private chambers. He reached for the seal -
"Don't touch the Phoenix-sigil!" Ares shouted.
Both Hercules and Iolaus looked at him with the same question written all over their faces, which was quite an effort for the latter. What the heck was a Phoenix-sigil? Iolaus had never heard about such a thing and judging by Hercules' expression, neither had he. But it seems that Hercules was already one step ahead of him.
"Er ... and why not?" Came Hercules' voice right on cue albeit a bit wary and questioning some other things as well. And Iolaus had heard it, too. There was something in Ares' voice that wasn't as smug and self-absorbed as the rest of it. He sounded almost fearful. Iolaus was sure neither he nor Hercules would survive hearing Ares being fearful, but he was cautious about something and it seemed it was contagious, because Hercules who wouldn't follow any of his godly brother's orders slowly drew his hand back.
"Because it' is too much of a charm for you to handle. " Came Ares' reply a tad bit too prompt for Iolaus' taste.
'And that is of any concern for you why?' He wondered. 'Normally you can't wait to get us into trouble and now you're acting all concerned and worried? You really think we'll fall for it?'
"I never heard about such a charm." Hercules interrupted Iolaus' internal monologue. He sounded wary and Iolaus was sure he was thinking about Iphicles on whose door the mysterious object was placed.
"No big surprise for me here,"Ares told him dryly. "Your education leaves a lot to be desired, but I think we both know who's to blame for that lack of knowledge."
And that was so totally Ares, Iolaus thought. Only this god could make an insult in passing so to speak. But - since it didn't answer the question about this sigil-thing - Hercules didn't react to it, although Iolaus saw his eyes flashing. But there wasn't really a choice to be made between his dearly beloved but dead mother, and his also loved and still alive brother. Hercules wouldn't give Ares the satisfaction of yet another delay. That much was clear.
"And it's more than a charm." Ares glared heatedly at the seemingly harmless object, which didn't seem affected by it. " It's an ancient charm symbolizing the unbreakable egg of the Phoenix and thereby closing the room for everyone - even for gods!"
And judging by the pissed-off look he gave the sigil, it was also a very personal insult to the God of War, Iolaus thought amused.
"My brother's trapped in an egg?"
Hercules asked with a deadpan expression. Iolaus was impressed, but he heard the unspoken: 'how dumb do you think I am if you actually believe I'll trust you with this one?'. And he couldn't really blame Hercules for being incredulous because Ares wasn't exactly known for tact and seriousness when it came to harassing his youngest mortal brother. As a matter of fact Ares was the logical suspect if anything about this sigil sounded fishy.
Both Ares and Iolaus flinched at this comment, but Iolaus recovered quickly, knowing very well how his friend reacted when he suspected his friends were in any kind of danger. Ares possibly just thought his little brother was finally going nuts, if the returning smirk was any indication.
"Not exactly, dumbass. He's not trapped. He's the only one who can enter and leave that room." Iolaus simply hated it when Ares pulled off his I'm-a-God-I-know-everything-routine. And doing it with that sugarcoated voice he had perfected over the years didn't help either. "In small words: we can't get in and anybody inside can't get out without Iphicles' permission. Does that answer your question or shall I draw you a picture?"
Iolaus didn't know which god exactly he should thank for the fact that Hercules didn't answer that question. He seemed to be contemplating the information and -judging by the way his brows were drawn together - was weighing the odds carefully, whether he could trust Ares enough to believe him, or call it yet another godly trick or trap. His friend didn't have much faith in his godly relatives, and Iolaus knew he had more than just one memory to remind him of their treacherous ways. But the whole scene couldn't be called anything but surreal, and a great part of the problem with Ares resulted from the latter's habit of not always lying, of sometimes telling the truth. And Hercules had to be careful with every word he heard from Ares as long as he didn't know if Iphicles was alright or not.
"That would explain some of the insane rumors going 'round about him," Hercules mused absent-mindedly before he pulled himself together visibly and shook his head. "But I'm still not convinced about it all. I mean, why should he do such a thing? How did he get this sigil thing in the first place?" Frustration made him shake his head in denial.
"It doesn't sound like something you just stumble upon. How would he know how to use it? And - the most important one - why would he trap Strife of all the gods with it?" Although Ares always insisted on Hercules being Zeus' favorite son - and that being a total injustice to him personally - Hercules' glance at the dark wooden ceiling while mentioning Strife's name, didn't prompt the King of the Gods to appear suddenly.
For which man, god and pony were equally grateful.
'Good questions', Iolaus thought, 'I really wish I had answers to them all.' Hercules turned away from the door and faced his brother with a determined look on his face.
"Why didn't he trap you inside his room? That would at least be understandable." Hercules blushed a little bit at the end and Iolaus once again contemplated the weird tangled knot of sympathy and animosity between and among the three half-brothers.
But he still thanked every deity in existence that Ares didn't get the full meaning of that sentence and its implications. Hercules knew about the rumors ghosting all over Greece saying his brothers were sleeping together. Telling the king of Corinth was nothing more than a toy for the God of War. Whispering about the king's talent to hold a grudge. Reminding Iolaus that this could very well be the reason why Iphicles should lock up Ares in his bedroom. Speaking about the king's revenge for the humiliation as the God of War's plaything. But Iolaus flinched nonetheless for it was the first time Hercules acknowledged these rumors about his brothers.
"I don't know, and frankly I don't care." Ares couldn't fool anybody with his concerned-uncle routine, and apparently he knew it. "Maybe he pulled a prank on Iphicles, maybe he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. What I want to know is, how long will it last." He turned away from Hercules only to spin abruptly on his heel and face his brother again. "I'm sure you don't understand it, but I have wars to ignite and gossip to spread."
For once Ares was right. Iolaus knew Hercules didn't understand it and wouldn't want to neither.
'And people think they can't even agree on the time of the day.' Iolaus thought, amused despite the still noticeable tension.
"And - the most important thing here - I simply don't want to wait like a common mortal until your brother decides -"
At this point the ominous door opened without making any creaking noises that would have fit in the whole scene so well, and the king walked out of the room. Iolaus got a good glimpse at sweat-tangled hair and a flushed face, which gave Iphicles a disturbing 'just-out-of-bed-look'. Iolaus felt his right ear twitching and wished again that he could control them a little bit. He was sure he looked silly with one ear cocked to the side.
Hercules naturally was the first to shake off the effect of the sudden appearance. He stood there a bit awkwardly, not knowing if his brother would welcome him or even acknowledge his presence. But this time his fear was for naught because Iphicles faced him almost instantly with an odd expression on his face. With his brows drawn together as if to scowl - 'Nothing new here,' Iolaus thought - but without the usual disdain in his eyes, the king looked concerned.
"It's good to see you, Iphicles" Hercules started at the same time as Iphicles.
"Did something happen?" They looked at each other and Iolaus would have sworn at that moment that Iphicles was smiling, which was more than enough to freak him out.
'Well, the sun's still shining and the birds are singing, so I assume it's not the end of the world. But if he does that again, I'll better check if I'm still alive.' Iolaus shook his mane vigorously.
"Let's try that again, shall we?" The king asked good-naturedly. Now both of Iolaus' ears were twitching, but he was too busy being surprised to really care about it.
'Since when does Iphicles do good-natured?' was too important a question for him to let his ears distract him.
'What's happening here?' Iolaus had to ask himself. 'They're both in the same room for at least two minutes, and Iphicles neither growled nor glared at Hercules. No threats of bodily harm, no whining about Alkmene's favoritism. Something's seriously wrong here.'
"I'm glad to see you too, Hercules, but I didn't expect you in Corinth. At least not before the winter's solstice." Hercules was at a loss for words, which was understandable because even Ares was showing signs of surprise.
'Maybe he has just problems with breathing through the nose' Iolaus snickered mentally 'but he looks funny with his mouth hanging open.'
"No. We ... just heard some ..er weird rumors."
He wasn't exactly chickening out, but it was clear that Hercules wouldn't risk ruining this truly surreal and unexpected moment. Iolaus understood his friend's hesitation to mention the nature of the rumors very well. Iphicles wasn't exactly known for taking any form of patronizing well, especially not in a brotherly way.
But the next miracle happened and Iphicles smiled again.
"I think I know what rumors bring you here. But where's Iolaus? Weren't you both on your way to help the village near Thessaly?"
'Here we go again,' Iolaus thought without mirth, 'I just hope he doesn't laugh his ass off like the fuzzy grumbler.'
Oddly enough Ares had stood in the hallway the entire time the two brothers were talking. Iolaus risked a quick glance in his direction - and stopped. Ares being speechless was a thing of beauty but Ares looking truly stupefied was a sight to behold. Although Iolaus had to admit that Iphicles being a lot less snarky than any other time he could remember was stunning, it shouldn't be enough to distract a god that much. Iolaus was so caught up in watching Ares looking strangely mortified that he didn't catch the humiliating story Hercules told his brother. He came only back to his senses when Iphicles approached him and asked:"Iolaus? Is that really you in there?"
And what else could he do but neigh and bob his head a few times. He hated being a pony, but at least Iphicles didn't make any comments on his size.
"We'll find a way. Trust me." The king whispered conspiratorially. He wasn't grinning, but Iolaus had the nagging feeling that Iphicles had something up his sleeve. Like he was planning something wicked and Iolaus transformation just added a very appreciated bonus. But Iolaus couldn't find the right word for it. But suddenly it hit him, and if Iolaus hadn't been standing on four sturdy legs he probably would have dropped down on his ass.
'He looks definitely mischievous, ' he suddenly thought, 'maybe it's Strife in Iphicles' body trying to get out of that room.'
He looked at Hercules who was still mesmerized by the way his brother had greeted him.
'Not much help here,' Iolaus thought, ' which leaves only Ares in the picture.'
But when he turned to the god, Ares was still standing in the hallway, his eyes were still threatening to leave their natural home and his mouth was still hanging open.
Iphicles followed Iolaus' gaze and apparently realised for the first time that he had another visitor.
"Ares. What are you doing here? And why are you standing in the dark. I nearly didn't see you," Iphicles asked, surprised.
'Well, that's the price you pay for wearing black. You tend to blend in perfectly,' Iolaus thought.
"He's naked," came Ares voice, sounding as stupefied as he looked.
Iolaus never thought it could get any more surreal than it was but this sentence put another dimension of weirdness into their gathering. He had a nagging feeling that he knew who Ares was talking about and at the same time didn't want to hear anything about it. But Hercules had heard it as well. With his eyes brows drawn together he looked at Ares searching for some kind of trick. But Ares stared right behind him into the bedroom.
At this point man and pony very slowly turned around and followed the god's line of vision.
And there in the door frame stood a familiar figure. At least Iolaus thought it was familiar, although he couldn't remember seeing Strife, the God of Mischief wrapped in white sheet. And a rather short sheet it was, judging by the amount of legs Strife was showing. Iolaus caught himself thinking that it was a very nice pair of legs albeit a bit skinny.
He was faintly disgusted with himself but couldn't concentrate on it because Strife nervously stepped from one foot to the other.
'Maybe he's cold. Or maybe I'm a complete idiot and the world has gone completely mad without notifying us.' His disgust was back with a vengeance. 'This is Strife I'm thinking about. The same Strife that made our lives miserable and would have killed us if he could've found a way to get away with it. - And his legs are the last thing on earth I want to think about at the moment.'
His gaze travelled from Strife's white-knuckled fingers clutching the sheet up to his face.
'Well - if I ever need to know how a pissed-off god looks like I'll remember this,' Iolaus thought dryly.
The slender god looked ready to explode any given moment with blazing eyes and too thin lips. He was breathing through his nose, which made it not only more audible but added the bonus of flared nostrils every now and then.
It was clear that the God of Mischief did do defiant. And he did do it well.
Again it was Hercules who shook off the stupor first to look at Iphicles again, not really daring to ask the burning questions. And Iphicles just stood there and smiled - a truly genuine smile.
"Now - I think one of your questions has already been answered, hasn't it?"
To this Hercules could only smile - albeit very queasily - and nod.
And Iolaus could once again sympathize with his friend.
'Great - the big guy is practically panicking, and his oh so endangered brother is sleeping with the enemy.' Iolaus scolded Iphicles mentally, but with no apparent luck. The king seemed to be determined to make his little brother best buddies with the most nerve-wrecking god in the whole pantheon.
'And the day started so promising', Iolaus thought.
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End of part one
♥. home .
♥. part two .( coming soon )
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