20. In Texas, if the American flag hits the ground, instead of the flag being burned the person is burned screaming "I wish I wasn't such a moron to let the flag hit the ground."

19. In Cananda, all people have mandatory bacon eating sessions where each person from each of the provinces join up in Ottawa. That means all of the 53 people come to eat bacon.

18. In Florida all sharks that eat people will be sentanced with the "ANIMAL DEATH PENALTY". This is because animals are so much like humans in the sense that they can be cold blooded killers...I feel sad for writing this.

17. In Deleware, all people pray on tuesdays that they will merge with the other small piece of crap states to make one super crappy state.

16. In Brazil, all people will speak portuguese... just to piss off the other spanish countries that surround them.

15. People in Zimbabwe must say there countrys name 20 times a day to remind them that Zimbabwe is a cool name for a country.

14. In Russia, all poor men drink vodka...thats it.

13. In Russia, all rich men drink vodka as well.

12. Every March 24, California celebrates there states element on the periodic table. In a related item, all other states laugh at California on March 24.

11. The president Willian Henry Harrison is celebrated for his 33 days as president by no one giving a shit in the state of Virginia every february 24.

10. In Mexico all people must speak Mexican...not Spanish.

9. The inventor of the hovercraft is celebrated in England by everyone speaking even weirder then normal.

8. In Alaska people will celebrate being part of the United States every October 12. Later that day Russian nukes bombed the whole 24 people in Anchorage. There are no survivors. WHY CAN'T THEY BOMB THE TV SHOW SURVIVOR?

7. The creator of the windows, Bill Gates (FOR THOSE 2 PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT) will give Jared Hook 1 billion dollars on his birthday. Thanks Bill Gates.

6. The Boston Marathon will always be ran in Boston, however, the Grawn marathon will always be run when someone gives a damn about Grawn.

5. In Germany, all people are Nazis.

4. The creator of the first toilet, Sir John Crapsalot, will be celebrated when he cleans his mess up.

3. Every tuesday, wednesday, and thursday I will celebrate "South Park" as a ritual by watching the show at 9:30 pm.

2. Australia will always say "AH YEAH" in that stupid accent just to piss the whole world off. Why hasn't anyone bombed Australia yet? Because it is too far to fly to.

1. In France, all people can drink Alcohol. In a related story I'm moving to France. YAY!