Dear Journal,
I can't believe I have an "it" living inside of me. I did some soul searching and am definately NOT going to abort the baby! My mom is excited too. She is changing the spare bedroom into a nursery!
I haven't told Dave about the baby yet. I dont want to! I know I need to though. It just scares me to think that he'll want to be a part of it or that he'll want me to abort it. I might tell Dave to come over and then I'll show him the nursery and let him take a guess!
I still dont know if the nursery will ever get used though because I dont know if I'll keep the baby. I know that if I do then I'll have my mom to help me out.
But then it is a big responsibility!
Frustrated,
Melissa
Dear Diary,
Okay, so I told Dave about the child living inside of me. He says that he wants to father the child and that we should get married, for the baby! I dont want to get married for the baby. Dave and I are not meant to be together and having him around to much would hinder my walk with God.
I went to the doctor today. She says the baby is healthy and doing fine. I cant wait to find out if it is a girl or boy or what! I have to wait until about 25 weeks and I'm only 15! Thats 10 more that I have to wait! How am I going to do that?
My mom is really doing the nursery up nice! She has all the furniture but is waiting to do the decorating until we find out if it a girl or a boy. I'm finishing up my junior year and want to get done before I start to show to much. My best friend Veronica has figured it out, but no one else has really thought to much about it!
Next year I will really be showing, but I think I am going to do correspondance until December and then go back full time. Mom say's that she'll watch the baby while I'm at school. She just wants me to finish high school!
Melissa
So I am starting to show some, but not that much. Thank goodness school is out. I keep putting a pillow underneath my shirt to see what I'll look like in about 5 months. It is really scary! I have just started my 2nd trimester a couple weeks ago and it has been quite an adventure.
I still have to wait another 6 weeks to find out if I'm having a boy or a girl. Dave and I have been talking a lot. He seems to be receptive to my turning to Christ, but he still wants to be in the party scene. He is going to get a job to help support the baby. Oh I want it all over with now! I am really excited but mom is even more excited now that she is working on the nursery everyday after work.
While I'm off to a doctors appointment.
Bye,
Melissa
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