Let the Journey Begin :)
I posted my 3 month post-op pictures today and with the comparison of pre-op vs. 3 months is really remarkable. I really felt that I had let myself down this month with only a measily 12 pounds lost, but I really have to stop beating myself up. I have been very successful in a very short time frame and I should be celebrating instead of sulking. I cannot compare myself to anyone. I enviously read on AMOS what people have lost (especially the ones who've lost amazingly fast) and am in awe. I want to be the person who loses 100 pounds in 4 months....but I'm not going to be that. I'll be lucky to get there in 6 months (can you believe I have the audacity to say THAT??? - I should be grateful to lose 100 stinkin' pounds in 6 months!!!!). I am a very "want it yesterday" type of person....never satisfied with the here and now....always dreaming of what life will be like IF I HAD MORE MONEY, IF I LOST WEIGHT, IF I HAD A BETTER SENSE OF SELF, MORE CONFIDENCE, WAS SMARTER, PRETTIER, FUNNIER, CALMER, (sheesh I could go on forever) etc. etc. etc. I really need to try to be more IN THE MOMENT, instead of wishing and hoping life will be better WHEN *insert topic*. I really just cannot wait for all the weight to disappear. I guess in the back of my mind I'm always thinking that this will not work for me, I'll be the ONLY person that WLS doesn't work. Why am I so doom and gloom?? Sheesh, I better get over myself. I'm going to be a success just like everyone else, only in MY own time frame, so I better get used to it NOW!!!! Ok, whine session is OVER!!!
On the exercise front, I walked 1.5 miles in 30 mins. I know it's not too fast, but with my knee I really cannot go any faster than that speed. I am hoping that I do walk everyday (like I vowed last week) so that I can kick-start the weight loss. I'm starting a new month tomorrow and want to put my best foot forward.
All is really well, in spite of the 1st paragraph written today! I'm really feeling fantastic, water consumption is WAY up and no kidney stone pains (figures, since I'm going to the Urologist on Wednesday!!!). I do need to get more protein in and will try my best over the course of the week to document what I'm eating so that I can truly know what I'm ingesting. Overall, life is good, feeling better about myself daily, wake up well-rested and happy to start a new day, I have a family and a boyfriend who loves me (in spite of myself sometimes, ok I have a BIT of a temper and am surrounded by calm rational people...lol). I have a fantastic job, a wonderful boss, I got a great appraisal from work last week, got a raise, getting my yearly bonus on Friday, getting a really nice chunk of change from my taxes, so what's to complain about?? I'm a work in progress and I'm really liking what I see (even if it's in a timeframe that I find frustrating!!)....patience my dear, patience.....until next time...
March 11, 2002 - (Monday) - 67 Pounds GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAPPY 3rd-Month ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!!!!! to ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, 3 months ago today, I was just into my hosptial room and pressing that PCA pump like a fiend..lol. So much has happened in these past 3 months, learned an awful lot about myself and how to deal with WLS and it's aftermath. The learning is still an on-going process. I throw up (a lot) still but things have progressively gotten better as the days/weeks/months go forward. I lost 67 pounds, so I'm happy with that, so much more to go, but I'm definitely on my way. Feel better everyday!!!
On the eating front, I am very good today. Started my food journal and documenting everything that went into my mouth. I also walked for the 2nd day in a row (which I'm very happy about). I got the Friends video collection for Christmas and plugged a tape in yesterday and walked to it, and did the same thing again today -- boy that 1/2 hour goes really fasssssssst!!! I gotta keep plugging with the exercise and I know the weight will start to melt off (or I hope so)....either way, it's a good thing for me to be MOVING!!!
Not much to say today, since I updated just last night, but needed to say that I'm very proud of my progress and want to thank everyone in my life who is supporting me daily with my struggles and successes with WLS. I hope next month there will be more weight to celebrate, but I'll take these 12 pounds and rejoice since they are OFF rather than ON.....until next time..
March 13, 2002 - (Wednesday)
I just got home from my marathon of Drs. appointments today. 3 mo. post op visit, Endoscopy follow-up and finally Urologist! You have NO idea how tired I am. All these appointments were in Morristown, however, hours apart, so the first one was at 11:15 and the last at 4:30, so a lot of waiting around....didn't realize how tired I'd getting waiting around on a rainy day in my car in parking lots....thank God for Jack, talked to him most of the time during the "down" times between appointments. Anyway, every appointment went good, even the Urologist. Now I have to get a stone sample tested (that came out from the sample urine I gave at the doctor today...he said weirdest shape stone he's ever seen, but that's besides the point!) and I have to go for an CTscan and see what's doing in my kidneys. So more doctors, more appointments....sheeeeesh!!! Since this surgery all I do is make doctors appointments and take vacation days to go to the doctors.....can't wait to feel better!!! On the whole, I am great and have been walking daily, documenting my food consumption (which still needs work, I really need to get in more protein/calories). Water consumption is fantastic, so all is right with the world (well, my world, at least). My weight loss seems to be at a standstill, but what am I going to do about it?? I have to keep doing what I need to do and let the weight catch up when it's ready...oh well, that's all for now, till next time.....
