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| The Inquisition Part 1 |
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| Author: Reena Email: [email protected] Rating: uh, average, PG15 Something just wasn't right in Max Evan's life. He just couldn't put his finger on it quite yet. And then it all became very clear to him. His friends were nuts. Certifiable. Wacko. It was really that simple. How else could anyone explain the lunchtime shenanigans that just happened? And now he was stuck listening to Maria ramble on from what happened when Kyle pulled her into the Eraser Room to have a "chat" all the way up to Michael's blunder regarding shopping and his newfound probation (again) to her conversation with Tess. There is always a telltale sign that a person has known Maria DeLuca too long. Her run-on sentence ramblings make sense courtesy of the "Maria Filter" as Alex dubbed it. Actually, everything about Maria makes sense when someone has known her long enough. "So can you believe him! I swear! I just wanted to help him out and noooo...he has to be his stupid buttmunch self! Okay Max...like I know you all de-podded together, but why do you hang around the guy? Seriously." "Why do you suck face with him?" "You men. You have no concept of 'the point.' Why couldn't Isabel have trained him?" "Like a dog?" "Sure. Whatever. He can't shop. He can't hold a normal conversation, he can't-" "Maria. You know all of this. And you're still with him. So why are you complaining?" "Why am I complaining? Two words. Michael. Guerin." Poor, poor Max. After he was out of Chemistry, he went to English. With Michael. Which meant that he'd hear the "Maxwell, I'm telling you, the girl is seriously a few French fries short of a Happy Meal..." speech. He pitied Michael, he did. Michael had a great girlfriend-extreme-but great. And why was she great? She put up with him. She kept his broody, clueless best friend happy. Half of the time. The other half...well, he was impressed with the insults the two could come up with for each other. It was like Fifth Grade revisited. At least he hadn't heard the "cootie" word in a while. "Maria. Can we please not talk about Reasons for Michael Going Back Home today? Please?" "Oh, I get it. You're on his side, aren't you? You guys just stick together. Regardless of how stupid you all are. It's amazing that girls even put up with boys, I mean, the things we have to deal with on a day to day-" "Girlfriend. Chill." "Whoa. You sounded like me there. Hmm...something is definitely up with you. What is it? You can tell ol' Girlfriend here." "Nothing's up." "Aha! Liz. So what's up with Lizzie?" "Nothing." "Hmm...You guys didn't like fight or anything did you? I mean, I know it's in the air and all, but it's you and Liz. Like the non-fighting perfect, vomit-gag-vomit, couple." "No, we didn't fight. Nothing's wrong with me and Liz." "Lying King." "I'm not lying." "Then what is it?" "Nothing. I'm just thinking about something Alex said." "What?" "Nothing." "Wrong answer. Try again." "Maria, it's nothing." "I'll get it out of you, I swear." "Maria, we have a lab to finish." "So? Where have you been this year in Chemistry? I don't do experiments. I believe that was established like week #2 of school. Or do you not remember?" "I remember. So I have a lab to finish." "Uh huh. Not until you tell me what's got your boxers in a bunch." "Nothing." "You are so sounding like Michael right now. And in case you don't get the translation on that one-not a good thing." "Fine. If it will shut you up, fine." "Okay, now you're totally sounding like Michael. I think you need deprogramming. We'll shop on Saturday, okay? Clean you out. Make you all better. Alright?" Max Evans just groaned. Again. Like he had been doing all day. Groaning, groaning, groaning... "Fine. So do you want to know what my problem is or not?" "All ears, your highness." "Alex told me about Liz's temper. And I'm trying to picture Liz-" "Wait a sec. We're not talking about that time when Liz was eleven and totally had a spazz attack when-" "Yes." "Whoa. Alex told you about that? Is he insane?" "What do you mean?" "That was like, a solemn promise between us three to never reveal that little incident to outsiders among the group." |
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