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Dear Mr. Gates:
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Date: Wed, 24 October 2007 10:04 WesternIndonesiaTime Subject: The Meaning of Living Normally Unrelated With Sexual Orientation
The above photos of you become some kind of reminder for me to write more about my previous letter of "A Plan to Live Normal, and the Cat Died". Especially since those photos were made during your visit to San Francisco, a city which is famous of having much gay people.
To avoid misunderstanding about my previous letter of "A Plan to Live Normal, and the Cat Died", there should be some more explanation here about what was the meaning of living normally in that letter. Of course what I meant of living normally was not about sexual orientation, because like I mentioned in my previous letter 'Misunderstanding About the Word "Straight" ', "............but I am straight, to be sure of.......", meaning that I am not a gay. The plan to live a normal way was because I have been living in the house of my sister for more than five years, getting financial support from my brother and my sister for more than ten years. I thought it must stop, the consent to move to the eternity was just nonsense, I had to live normally. Just like most of my other friends and most of other people, live normally, get a job, find a match, getting married, develop a family, and so on. But after the experience that day in 2006, I began to feel like I could not wish to live normally anymore, I always have to concern with my commitment of having the consent to move to the eternity. Even if God allowed me to get married before I moved to the eternity, it should always connected with my consent to move to the eternity, my wife would be someone conducive with my consent to move to the eternity. It was strengthen with my other experience like written in my letter of "Arief Mulyadi Down at Thailand Plane Crash With 88 Others Died". Whereas on Sunday afternoon 16 September 2007 at home I scrawled the draft of my previous letters, about Tangkuban Perahu, about Anita Roddick died, and about Paris Hilton's wearing Lady Di's hairstyle. Inevitably came some strong doubts in my mind about what was I doing, writing all those things that seems to be related with me, what if all those things were merely coincidences, have I gone crazy that I needed an urgent counseling, who am I anyway. A few hours later on TV there was the news about a plane crash in Phuket, Thailand, after attempting to land in bad weather. At first I thought, it has nothing to do with me, especially since it was still unconfirmed about whether there were any Indonesians among the casualties. Later on at night, additional information came on TV, there was an Indonesian among the casualties, and he was the pilot. And his name,.............Arief Mulyadi. A name that sounds familiar to me since Arief is also the name of my former neighbor's husband, Anita's husband. Anita, the woman that I just wrote a few hours earlier in my scratches of letters..............and the plane crashed just a few hours after I felt strong doubts about what was I doing, writing all those things that seems to be related with me, what if all those things were merely coincidences, have I gone crazy that I needed an urgent counseling, who am I anyway........
So I think I should always stick with my consent to move to the eternity, and therefore sacrificing my wish to live normally like other normal people. Of course it has the risk of people laughing at me, but as long as it is for the good of this world, why bother.
Date: Wed, 24 October 2007 10:38 WesternIndonesiaTime Subject: Intertwine Background
Your speech during a launch announcement at the Unified Communications Server 2007 conference in San Francisco, Tuesday, Oct. 16, 2007, was having the background of intertwine color tapes at the background. And it was after my previous letter of "Mistake of My Showing No Sufficient Gratitude On Rahma's Appearance In My Life" dated 28 September ' 07, whereas I wrote the word intertwine in the sentence of ".......The explanation about this intertwine is rather complicated, and should require a flash back, but I am quite sure it is not too hard for you as a computer genius to comprehend, since it is like some kind of a part of computer game of your Microsoft Xbox.........".
Date: Wed, 24 October 2007 11:12 WesternIndonesiaTime Subject: Reminder About the "Red" Part
These photos of you holding new Zune portable media players appeared on October 2, 2007, after my previous letter of "Mistake of My Showing No Sufficient Gratitude On Rahma's Appearance In My Life" dated September 28, 2007. It become like a reminder to me regarding my observation of "something red" in 2001. During the time I made approach to Rahma Sarita in 2001, I happened to also began my observation about "something red" under woman's body through the Internet adult sites. It could have been another fatal mistake of me, because it could have confused the angels who were responsible of managing the difference between good energy and evil energy, and such confusion could have caused the trigger of disaster. I deeply apologize for that. But I also have my explanation about that. My approaching Rahma and asked her to get married around that moment was to make sure I would not practicing the effect of such observation with randomly chosen girls. I did asked her to get married, not just to fool around. But then again, I might not the kind of person that she wish to get married to. So it comes back to the necessity of realizing my idea of "experiment of love" like mentioned in my previous letter of "Chaotic Moment Whenever I Seriously Falling in Love", to make sure I will be more prepared to be accepted. And if such experiment still cause disaster, it would only strengthen anyone to help me moved to the eternity, for the good of this world.
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Thank's, A.M. Firmansyah Tel. +62812 183 1538
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