Funny Horoscope |
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Aries (March21-April19) You tend to be headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don't give a fuck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn't care less. You're the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding. |
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Taurus (April20-May20) Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get on well with most people because you're bisexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell of piss. |
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Gemini (May21-June21) Your star sign denotes an air of duality in your character. Simply, you're a neurotic schizophrenic. A real fucking weirdo, the type of person who'd kill them self to win a bet. |
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Cancer (June22-July21) You have a businesslike attitude to life and a knack for making money. You're an unscrupulous bastard who would sell relative's limbs to buy a mobile phone. You are likely to be murdered. |
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| Leo (July22-Aug21)
The adventurous type, always looking for thrills and willing to try anything. In other words, stupid. You have the IQ of a garden snail and will never amount to anything. Most Leos are living on the welfare. |
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| Virgo (Aug22-Sept22)
You like the good things in life and you know how to enjoy them. But you're prone to bullshitting and you're a cheap bastard. Virgo men are usually queers and the majority of Virgo women are whores. |
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