Well the next day at
around 10am the phone rang.
It was Claire. I almost
went out of my head... (you know... "exteriorised".) I was thrilled to bits.
She was just as shocked
as I was. She thought she was ringing a David in Melbourne, a young fellow she knew
through the organisation who she was "interested in".
It was this mistaken
assumption that the receptionist had made too. I must say I do sound young on the phone
sometimes, so I'm told. But this was quite a compliment.
My joy was short lived.
I could barely understand
her speech. I thought she was tired or under the influence of alcohol. I couldn't
understand it.
She said, "Dad. I've
had a stroke." Then she started crying. I staggered in disbelief. "I've had
Leukemia.... I was in hospital... had operations.... heavy drugs." "Not in Sea
Org... Not in RPF... living with Dianne C----." She was so tearful and upset I just
wanted to die on the spot. I suddenly felt a rush of suspicion, anger at Janine and the
"church.
All at once I knew what
had happened.
As I couldn't get a
straight sentence from her I tried to take the pressure off her and suggested she call me
back. Surprisingly she just croaked "Yes" and to my horror, she was gone.
I was dumfounded.
My mind raced over the
last 10 years. The separation from Claire. The persecution. The hatred certain cult staff
had toward me "for leaving" and not going under. The Sunshine Rundown
Demonstration, the statement from Susan that "they were going to make an example of
someone. All at once I seemed to understand more about the panic attacks, and the
heart-turns and collapses I've had over the last 5 years.
How could such a healthy
happy little girl have a stroke? I knew the answer as I thought of the effects on me of
heavy suppression in certain orphanages and foster homes I was in as a child. When exactly
did it happen? What was going on in the Church that this should happen?
I remembered Claire's
many words when she was on her visits before she was cut off from me, how she told me of
the anger from her Mother that she would return from her visits so happy and sometimes
even "weller" than she had arrived. She told me how she was always sick in the Sea Org and that she always wanted to be with me.
Sadly I didn't fight
harder. But I was hamstrung by the Law and my own poverty. I was no match for the
Organisation - the Cult.
I never dreamed they
would do this to Claire. I now recognised and understood the level of revenge
aimed at me for my part in the Demonstation (outside
the Cult building in Castelreagh Street, Sydney in 1985) against their heavy handedness
with an ex-member.
Why was Claire always
sick IN THE "CHURCH" when by their own philosophy "all sickness is PTSness?" Why wasn't "her PTSness" handled?
How could her "PTS Symptoms" be so ignored that she would collapse and arrive at
this condition.? How wrong could their actions have become.
I was to find out.
I have been so grateful
to have Dianne to support me through all of it.
DIARY ENTRY FOR THE DAY
diary-971004-sat.htm
