| ...ally... We follow the doctor upstairs. Bryan kept his arm around me as we walked, making sure I didn't fall, as I was still really shaky. We slowly walked along the corridor, the doctor stopped as we reached the door, he walked past the door and into his office. We followed him in. He motioned to us to sit in chairs in front of his desk. We both sat down. He cleared his throat. "I need to speak to both of you before you go in." He sounded serious. "Ok." Bryan said, nervously, "how bad is she?" "Well," the doctor sighed. "I wont lie about how serious this is." "Ok" I said. "As you know she had problems breathing when she was born, but we have her on a machine to help that, and so we have to feed her through a tube." I buried my head in my hands, and Bryan put his arm around me again. "She is very small, and susceptible to infections, so I'm afraid, we can only let you in to see her, with special gowns on." "What are her chances?" I asked, raising my head. The doctor sighed again. '50 - 50." "What?" Bryan asked, shocked. I looked at him and could see he was crying. "We have her on medication for to help her lungs, so she has an oxygen mask on too." "Can we go in now?" I asked. "Yes." We stood up. "Don't be afraid of the machines and tubes, they're helping her, ok?" We both nodded and followed the doctor out of the room, and back down the corridor. ...bryan... We walked into the room and saw some other incubators were, and other parents stood by them. There were two nurses on duty, one who was maybe a year or two older than myself. She gasped as Ally and I walked in, she was obviously a Westlife fan. "Oh my God, it's Bryan McFadden!" She gasped. "And when he's in here, he is just another parent, don't go hassling him for autographs, ok?" The older nurse warned her. The doctor lead us over to one of the incubators. "Here she is. If you need anything, just ask one of the nurses." He said, and left us beside the incubator. We sat down on the chairs beside it. I looked at Ally, she looked really pale, and tears were in her eyes. "It's gonna be ok." I said, trying to convince myself that it would be. She looked up at me. "Is this my fault Bryan?" She asked, quietly. "Is this some sort of punishment, because of what I did?" "God, no! Don't think that. It would've happened even if we weren't arguing and stuff. Don't blame yourself." I whispered to her. "I just can't believe this is happening. Why her, Bryan?" I couldn't answer her, I had asked myself the same thing countless times in the past hour. We sat in silence for a while. I looked at the baby, it was weird, I could tell, just by looking that there was no way she was Derek's. I don't know how long we sat there, just staring at her, praying to ourselves. I must have dozed off without realising it, because I woke up, still in the chair, still in the hospital. I had hoped it was a bad dream, but no, it wasn't. I looked over at the chair where Ally had been sitting, but it was empty. I thought maybe she had gone for a sleep in one of the rooms, I looked around. "Are you looking for Ally?" The young nurse asked, walking over. I nodded and looked at my watch, it was 8am the next day. " she's outside talking to your parents I think." "Oh, ok, thanks." I stood up and looked at the baby, she looked as if she was sleeping. I hesitated before going to the door. "It's ok, we'll look after her." The nurse said. I walked out of the door. I looked down the hall a little and saw Ally and my parents sitting on some chairs talking quietly. "Hey." I said, walking over to them, stretching. "Oh God Bryan." Mum cried, and gave me a hug before starting to sob quietly into my shoulder. Dad just walked over and patted my shoulder. "Any change?" Ally asked, looking hopeful. I just shook my head and she sighed. "I just had to get out of there Bryan," she explained. "I know." I said, and sat down beside her. "Did you get any sleep at all?" "No." She said, quietly. "Ally, you've got to rest." Mum said looking concerned. "I was just saying to Bryan's dad before we came here, that we'd look after Dylan, until, well, whenever...." "Oh God, I almost forgot about him, where is he?" Ally asked, standing up. "Calm down. Ro and Yvonne took him. We brought some stuff we had at our house for him, we'll pick him up later." Dad said. "Thanks." Ally said, and walked over and stood beside me, I stood up too. "We better get going." Dad said, as he and Mum stood up, "we just wanted to see how you two were." "She'll be ok Bryan." Mum said and gave me another hug, "we'll see you later." "Yeah, thanks for coming down." And with that they walked away, and me and Ally walked back down, and into the room again. ...ally... We were almost at the room, when I thought about Derek. "Bryan?" He stopped walking, "should I call Derek, let him know?" He sighed, "Do you think you should?" "I'll tell him that it's not his, then he'll stop bothering us so much." I said, hoping that he would. "Well, she isn't his, is she?" He asked, he had seen it too. I shook my head. "Will I call?" "No, this is between me and him, Bryan. I'll get it." I said, and walked towards the phone. Bryan waited outside the room, waiting for me to come back. I picked up the phone and dialled his number, after a few rings, he picked up the phone, and sleepily answered. "Hello?" "Hi Derek, it's me." "What? Hi. What time is it?" He asked. "It's a little after 8am." I said. "What's wrong? Why are you calling at this time. Is Dylan ok?" "He's fine, I'm calling about something else. The baby." "Why? What's happened?" "Umm, it's a girl and she's really sick, Derek." "What?! When?" "Last night, and she's Bryan's." "You know so soon?" He asked. "You can tell just by looking, honestly Derek." I told him. "Are you at the hospital now? Who's got Dylan?" He asked. "Yeah, Bryan's parents are taking him until she's a bit better." I explained. "I'm coming over there." "What? Why?" "I want to see for myself, and I'll look after Dylan, after all...." "Look, don't. You can't do anything, he's fine where he is." I lost my temper a little. "Look, I'll see you later." And he hung up. I walked back over to Bryan. "Well?" "He wants to come over, I told him not to, but ...." I sighed, tears welling again. "Hey, let him come over if he wants, he can't change anything." He said, and we walked back in. We sat back down in the chairs we had been sitting in all night, I realised we hadn't spoken about things properly since the argument, when Bryan had left. What was going to happen with us? Were we broken up? Or.....? "Bryan," I started after we had been sitting for a while, " we need to talk, about things." He looked up. "Ally, this isn't the time to be discussing what happened, OK?" He said, quietly. "I want to talk about it, what's happening with us? Are we together, are we...?" I couldn't finish. "Well, last night, I thought it was over, I mean you and him, I thought you had been having an affair...." "We weren't, one night, Bryan, that's all, I regretted it ever since." "Look, I'm willing to forgive and forget, we can start again, we've got to do this. I need you to help me through this." He whispered. "Yeah." I said. We sat there for a while, and I felt my eyes getting heavy, I didn't want to sleep, I had to stay awake in case anything happened. It was no use, I must have fallen asleep, because I woke up in a bed, still at the hospital. I sat up and looked around, slightly confused as to where I was, after all, last thing I remember was sitting next to Bryan in the ICU. Someone was sitting beside my bed, and it wasn't Bryan. "Ally?" "Derek, when did you get here?" I asked him. "Not long ago, I came straight here. How are you?" "Where's Bryan?" "He's in the ICU with the baby. He let me see her for a moment, I know what you mean, she looks like him, huh?" He said, with a smile on his face, but I could tell from his voice he was a little disappointed. "He wanted to sit with you, but I told him I would." "Thanks." I said, then I couldn't help but start to cry a little. "It's not fair." "I know," he said, and walked over and out his arms around me, "she'll be OK, she's got to be." We sat there for a while like that. "Are you going to see Dylan later?" I asked him, once I had stopped crying. "Yeah, I'll just say hello, or do you want me to look after him for you while you guys are here?" He asked, sitting back down on his chair. "Bryan's parents are looking after him, but I'm sure they wouldn't mind you taking him one night, this whole situation has them worried too. Look, they don't know anything about the thing between me and you, OK? So, don't tell them why you showed up." I explained to him, and stood up. "What time is it?" "It's...." He looked at his watch, "nearly 4pm." "What?!" "You needed the sleep, after last night." He said, and walked with me to the door. "I'm going to go back in and see how things are, if there's any change." "Ok, I better go too, I'll come back and see you, maybe bring Dylan in too." "Yeah, that'd be good, thanks." I said, and gave him a hug. "Call me if you need anything.I'll see you later." He said, and let go. I nodded, waved and walked back in to see Bryan, he hadn't moved at all in the past few hours it seemed. It seemed to stay like that for the next few days, only leaving the room to get some food, ad after a few days, we decided that one person should go home to Bryan's parents and stay there for the night, as Dylan was unsettled by not seeing us. Bryan's parents had tried their best to explain what was going on to him, but being 18 months old, he didn't understand. All he knew was we weren't there, we were with the new baby, so understandably, he felt left out.The others came back from Sligo as soon as they heard and showed up at the hospital to show support. The guys were supposed to be travelling through the UK to promote their newest single, but understandably Bryan was reluctant to tour, when I say reluctant, I mean, he refused to tour. We spoke to Louis and Ronan, Lou saying this was exactly why he had the 'no wives, no babies' clause in the contract initially, but Ronan was quick to point out, that the clause had been removed before Nat and Pnut had married Mark and Kian. In the end, it was decided that Bryan couldn't do the tour, this was far more important, that the other guys would cover for him, putting his absence down to a virus. We had both agreed that we wouldn't tell the media the real reason. If we did, we would have had press trying to gain access to him and the baby, which we both couldn't handle on top of everything else. One night, about 2 weeks after she was born, I was sleeping at Bryan's parents house, things seemed to be going well, the baby, now named Jessica, had gained weight, but still couldn't breathe on her own. Anyway, I woke one morning and went downstairs, to find Bryan's mum on the phone. "Hold on, here she is now." She said, and handed me the phone, "it's Bryan." "Ok, thanks." I took the phone, "hi Bryan." "Hi." He said, his voice was funny, had he been crying. "Ally, you've got to come back to the hospital." "Bryan, what's wrong?" I asked, starting to panic. "She's got worse Ally, she's got some sort of chest infection." He blurted out. "Whoa, slow down, is she ok?" "The doctor - he said we could lose her." He started to sob. I dropped the phone and ran upstairs, got ready and ran back out of the house, got in the car and drove to the hospital as fast as I could, I didn't know how bad this was. |