| Part 30 (bryan) We all piled in the car and decided to go home. I hadn't been home yet, because I had wanted to pick the kids up first. They were both really quiet in the car, well, probably had a busy week, getting spoilt with attention I thought. "Are you ok now?" Jess asked when we were nearly home. "Yeah." "What was wrong with you? Why did you have to go to hospital?" Dylan asked. "I wasn't feeling too good, but everything's ok now, don't you two go worrying, ok?" They both nodded. We got home and went inside, the kids put their stuff upstairs and I did the same. After that, we all sat in the living room, as I sat there, I realised what I had almost thrown away. "So, what did you guys do at Dereks then?" I asked them. "Well, Derek took us out for a burger!" Jess said, excitedly. "Yeah, that was cool." Dylan said. "What else?" Robyn asked. "Umm, one day Sam had to look after us by herself..." Dylan started mischeviously. "Yeah? What did you do?" "She took us to that park." Jess answered, looking down. "Park?" Robyn asked, she didn't know the exact details of Ally's death. "Yeah, the one where Mummy-" Dylan stopped. Jess and me looked at him, as if it was a secret between us 3. "Dylan, we're not supposed to talk about her in front of Daddy and Robyn, remember?" Jess whispered. "Sorry Daddy." He said, quietly. "It's ok." I said, and stood up. "I might have to go out for a while later on, Robyn can you look after them for an hour or so?" "Yeah, where are you going?" She asked, curiously. "Just out." She sighed heavily. "Fine, don't tell me." "Robyn-" Dylan and Jess just looked at each other, wondering if it was something they said. "Please." I gave the begging look. "Ok then." She stood up and walked into the kitchen. "Dinner?" "Yeah, I'll make it." I called in, I walked in and started to make something for us. "Where are you going today?" "I was going to go to the cemetery if you really want to know. The past week got me thinking." "About?" She asked, I turned to face her. "The past. The future." "And?" I looked at her. "Am I still competing with a dead person Bryan?" "No!" I cried. "But what happened in the past,will always be with me a little bit." "Why?" She asked, although I felt she understood a little. "I guess I'm still carrying guilt over it. "She looked at me for an explanation. "If we hadn't separated, she could, would, still be alive." "How?" "She would've been with me at th einterview, Jess too. Dylan was with Derek anyway. She wouldn't have been at the road, and things would be different." "You regrret what things are like now?" She looked hurt. "I wish she hadn't died, that the kids hadn't went through that, but I am happy the ways things have worked out." I smiled to convince her. "This is like a clean break, you know, well the slate isn't exactly clean for me and the kids, but enough to move on." "Is it?" I nodded, I felt I could move on. "Ok, do you want us to come with you today?" "No, I have to do this alone." "Yeah, of course, I'll take the kids out." "Thanks." |