| Part 31 (bryan) I stopped the car at the road beside the gravestone, and sat in the car for a while. I hadn't been up here for a couple of weeks, I never spoke about going here to any one. Geez, you would've thought I was mad, talking to a slab of stone as if it was going to help you. I walked up to the stone, the grass sunk a little bit because of the heavy rain the night before. I looked at the stone. "Hey." I said, quietly. "Just thought I'd take a wander up here. Guess you saw what I did last week, pretty dumb, huh?" I looked up at the dark clouds that had formed. "You know I would never leave the kids, but when I read that. I don't care what the damn letter says, we knew all along there was a chance, didn't we? It won't change anything, not now." I paused, I thought I saw someone out of the corner of my eye, but ignored it. "I just don't know what I would do without them, can't remember what it was like before them much." It was true, to me it had been a whirlwind of concerts, signings, parties....but after them, there was focus, someone else to look out for. "I'm just scared, maybe that's why I'm here." "Bryan?" I turned around. Derek. "Hi." He said, quietly, almost whispering. "Hi." I was shocked, but at the same not that surprised. "I just thought I'd come up here...." "Yeah, I do that too, to think." "Yeah, did you hear what I was saying?" I asked, nervously. "Yeah, a little. I was going to drop by the house later actually, to talk." He explained. "Talk?" He nodded. "The kids?" Another nod. "I'm not going to fight you for them, they're yours, I saw that this week. I'm happy now, with Sam, and well, the kids would never be happy with us." He said, sadly. "You're serious?" "Yeah, you win." He gave a little laugh. "Look, you know you can see them, anytime." He nodded. "We're moving to London next month, so we won't be around as much, but yeah, it'd be good to see them now and then." "Yeah." "I better go." He started. "I think I interupted you." And with that he walked back down the road. Once he was out of sight, I turned back to the stone. "Well, that's one thing sorted. Ummm, I had another reason for coming here. I don't know what I'm expecting here," I admitted. "Like a blessing or something? Ot to tell you that I've not been faithful, even though you're gone." I continued. "Well, see, me and Robyn and the kids, are starting again, I guess you know the deal, probably been watching or something," I laughed. "Well, I guess you know about the baby and stuff, so, wish me luck, eh?" I looked up at the clouds, they had started to clear and let some sun through. That was all I needed as my sign. "Thanks." I said, smiling up. I felt as if something had been lifted from me, and headed home. I walked in home, and slouched down on the sofa. "Bryan?" "Yeah, it's me." I called upstairs. "Just got back." "Better?" Robyn asked coming downstairs. "Yeah, much." She nodded as if she agreed. "Saw Derek." "Oh?" "He's not going for custody!" I cried and gave her a hug. "That's great news." "Where are the kids anyway?" I asked, the house was suspiciously quiet. "At your mum's." She explained, she could see my confusion. "I met her in the town, and she offered to take them for the rest of the day." "Oh right, she'll probably feed them then?" Robyn nodded. "What else did she say?" "Just asked how you were, after..." She stopped. " I told her that you came home today, so she'll be expecting a phone call, and she'll be expecting you to pick the kids up later too." "Yeah, I guess." I wasn't looking forward to that. The way Mum had looked so hurt when she came to visit me, Dad hadn't even came to the hospital. "I better call and arrange when I've to collect them then." "Yeah. I think you better." Robyn said, she knew how mum and dad had been too. I walked into the room and picked up the phone and slowly dialled the number. What was I gonna say? 'Hey, it's your fave suicidal son here?', maybe not. "Hi, Mum?" "Bryan? Oh, I'm so glad you called." She was genuinely happy to hear me, unexpectedly. "Yeah, I was going to come by later with Robyn to collect the kids and kind of tell you guys a few things." "Oh, nothing bad I hope?" "Umm, no. You just deserve an explanation of what's been going on around here." "Yeah, if you want to tell us...." "Yeah, I'll be round about 7 if that's ok." "Yeah, I'll see you then, bye." "Bye." I hung up the phone. "Going round tonight?" I nodded. "That'll be fun." Robyn replied a little sarcastically. "Yeah, it will be." |