| Part 21 (bryan) The next day, we had some photoshoots and interviews. We'd just finished the photoshoot and had a hour long break for lunch. I decided to go for a walk during the break, I grabbed a sandwich and walked outside. "Hey mate!" Mark had followed me out. "Oh, hi." I replied quietly. "What's up?" He asked, looking concerned. "You and Robyn had a fight?" "Umm, no, what makes you say that?" "You seem, quiet." "Oh, sorry, just tired." I answered, and sat down on a seat. "Things have been a bit hard lately." "Yeah, but you're getting over it a bit now, ain't you. You've got Robyn, and the kids..." He trailed off. "Yeah, I guess." "Something's not right." He said, and sat down. "Is it the kids?" I nodded. "Jess still having her nightmares?" "No, well, not as much as before. Derek made me test Jess." "He did?" Mark asked, shocked. Obviously he hadn't realised how serious Derek was. "Yeah, we find out in 2 weeks." I sighed, staring at the ground. "2 weeks." "Is that all, or is there something else?" I sighed, he could read me like a book. "Things ok with Robyn?" "Well..." I started. "I kinda lost it with her yesterday." "Lost it, how?" He asked. "I got angry, it wasn't even her fault, just when I'm getting over, well, you know, she'll do something that reminds me of Ally." "Oh." Mark said, he understood. "I just, I don't know. What if I'm with her for all the wrong reasons? What if I'm doing it to get over her, what if I'm with her because she reminds me of her?" "Only you know that one." Mark said. "Just be careful, don't hurt anyone." He sighed, "including yourself." "It's not always that easy, is it?" I said, and stood up again to go back inside. "Come on, let's get this interview over." We walked back inside. This was the first proper interview since that day, sure we had some little interviews with the last single, but this was the first real interview, and it was individual interviews, so the others wouldn't be there to back me up. "Who's first then?" Stacey, the interviewer stuck her head round the door. Mark noticed my nervousness. "Why don't you go in first, get it over with." "Yeah, guess so." I walked in and slowly sat down. "Bryan, I'm not going to eat you, don't look so nervous." "Sorry." I said, quietly. "It's ok. Kids not here today?" "No." "Awww. I wanted to see them. Thought it was a bit quiet." We both laughed. "How are they?" "They're ok. They're with Robyn." Stacey gave me a questioning look. "She's the childminder. It's hard to look after two kids when you do this job, and with Ally being gone..." "Yeah, I know." She said, sympathetically. "Is this going to be in the interview?" I asked. "If you want. It's up to you." "Yeah, but don't mention her name. I don't want her to be bugged by the press or anything." "Yeah, I guess." "Ok, what questions do you have for me then?" I asked, smiling a little. "Right tough ones?" "Be prepared McFadden." She laughed again. "Ok, question 1. How did you cope over the past 8 months?" "Well," I thought back, it was still a bit of a mystery to me. "It has been really tough. But the other guys helped me through, my family too. Of course, the kids, I'd be lost without them. But I'd like to say a big thank you to the fans for their letters and stuff." "Yeah, of course." She answered , looking sad. "Ummm, question 2 - did you ever consider leaving the band?" "Yeah, but I never. After something like that, you just don't think clearly. I didn't think I'd be able to keep the band on, having Dylan and Jess to look after, but the record company were understanding, and gave all of us time to get over it. But we're back!" I gave my trademark cheeky grin. "Well, we're glad you didn't!" She laughed again. "You ok there?" "Yeah, just thinking, you know." "I'm sorry, we can stop the interview, if it upsets you." She offered. "No, I'm ok. Just strange doing this. The kids are usually running mad." 'I Laughed. Most times when we had interviews, Ally would've brought Dylan and Jess down too, so everyone had gotten used to them being around. Now I was back, alone. "Next question?" I nodded. "Question 3. - do you have someone special in your life?" "Ummm, not at the moment, no." I felt guilty, thinking about Robyn at home with the kids, but I was doing this to protect her in a way. "Question 4 - plans for the future?" "Umm..well, band stuff mostly for the mo. Christmas too, man, its tough trying to pick pressies...hehe. This christmas will be weird, it's the first one with just me and the kids." I looked down, this year would be hard. We spoke more about Westlife and what we were goig to do, did we plan another Christmas number one and stuff? "Ok, Bryan, thanks for that. Have a nice Christmas. Say hi to the kids too. Take them next time if you want, you know we love them down here." "Yeah, I will. Thanks. I'll see you later." I said, and walked out. |