1999 october 01public restrooms...or more than any of us ever need to know. in many respects i am a modest girl. i went through my exhibitionist phase when i was younger but even then i always shut the bathroom door whilst taking care of business. maybe i am a product of my culture or maybe i had traumatic toilet training experiences or maybe it is just the way it is, but the bathroom is a private place and people in them should have a similar demeanor to the one they wear in a church or other sacred place. okay, that's probably taking it too far, but you know what i mean. in any event, when i use the bathroom at the office, i try not to make a spectacle of myself; in, do whatever i need to do, and out all as quietly as possible. i have a coworker that i rarely interact with for a variety of reasons most of which can be illustrated by my nickname for her, the useless cow. it seems our bladders are almost in sync as we are always crossing paths on the way in and out of the front and back doors or even the bathroom door. but until today, we have never shared the bathroom space. may we never do so again. after a mere thirty seconds, i know entirely too much about her toilet paper consumption and her personal hygiene routine. i will save you the graphic description but will tell you the former must cost her a mint and the later involves some very, and i do mean very, vigourous scrubbing with the former. ick. and ouch. not too long ago i saw a short film about a woman who could only relieve herself in a public restroom if she was the only occupant. it was pretty funny at the time but suddenly i have all sorts of sympathy for her. vowing to drink less water while i am at the office, claire
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