bedroom the handyman carolyn see bathroom smoke and mirrors neil gaiman car/walk the stillest day josephine hart
office up r.e.m. car breakheart hill [book-on-tape] thomas h cook living room the sci fi channel
brand x the message came from out of the blue: Brand X welcomes you into its clutches.
1999 april 23
move over, june cleaver
watch out, i'm about to get all girly on you.
while i was lounging on the bed, eating the bonbons and waiting for the birth of the alien [she is still in utero, just in case you were wondering], i decided i couldn't bear to watch soap operas so i sent gene to the store to get me the latest women's magazines. i have an incredible fascination with these magazines and have since i was a teenager. you wouldn't believe the looks i got when in full goth mode, all dressed in black and pale as a bone, i would walk up to the checkout line carrying a pack of marlboro reds, a bottle of tonic water, and family circle.
i not only read the things, i hoard them. right now, if i went through my house in full gather mode, i could probably scare up over a year's worth and that's not counting the ones i have finally gone through, ripping out only the pages i want to refer to later. i save recipes, save gardening tips [this even though i just have pots on the back porch], laundry tips and quilt patterns, save craft ideas and diet regimes.
do i use any of them?
sometimes. the recipe for roasted asparagus came from woman's day, and any day now i am going to make a quilt out of all my old concert shirts; there was also an article about making them into pillows but i really don't want a bunch of stuffed shirts hanging out on my bed. i read all the financial columns, telling me how to budget, and promptly ignore them. i also ignore all the health columns, but again, i read them first.
i have great visions of how organized i am going to be one day, how i will have all my menus planned out a month in advance and will do all my shopping in one coupon ridden trip to a grocery store that doubles those coupons on tuesday. of course, i have yet to find one of those grocery stores but they keep assuring me they are out there. i will make all my own cards and gifts and will refinish and decorate flea market furniture in such a wonderful manner as to make my friends gasp with envy as they gaze upon my impeccably decorated front room. i'll make thanksgiving dinner for 18 without breaking a sweat and a wedding brunch for dozens while dressed in all white.
trust me, i will. i have all the articles to tell me how.
if i knew you were coming, i'd have baked a cake, claire
home - < previous < - > next > - archives