1999 january 26

ed wood

while we were strolling through the video store last week, i casually mentioned i had never seen ed wood. after i let gene put on his little show of feigned horror, followed by his declaration that he would have to move out because what sort of woman not only hasn't seen the movie but will admit it in a public place, i offered up the fact i had seen plan 9 from outer space, reckoning that would put me back in his good graces. it did, but barely, so we left with ed wood in hand.

i quite liked it but figured the real people, the real ed and his real girlfriends, were probably not nearly so attractive as johnny depp, sarah jessica parker and patricia arquette. it had been years since i had seen plan 9 and i couldn't remember what any of those actors looked like, except the stand-in for bela lugosi; it's rather difficult to forget a black cape strategically draped across a face.

enter edfest.

gene and i do this periodically, find an actor or director or theme and then rent three or four movies that fit the bill, park ourselves in front of the television with snacks and watch until our eyes bug out. saturday night we rented plan 9, night of the ghouls and glen or glenda; we ate popcorn, godiva chocolates, spinach dip with celery and washed it all down with pepsi [gene] and decaf with cream [me]. peter parker contented himself with some cat treats and water; daphne just had water.

there are times i dislike knowing i have neighbors connected to my ceiling and north walls, like when i am laughing hysterically, and endlessly quoting lines from bad movies at the top of my lungs. plan 9 from outer space is widely held to be the worst movie of all time, but i truly must beg to differ. while it is plenty bad with its cheesy flying saucers and cardboard mausoleums, not to mention the atrocious acting, i found glen or glenda to be even worse.

a strange justification for his own cross-dressing, ed wood's film has all the charm of those 1950's era school movies about sex and puberty. bad lighting, uninformed script, wooden acting, patronizing dialogue -- they were all present and accounted for, as was a nonsensical character played by bela lugowski. i suppose he was meant to be a sort of god/creator figure but what he mostly was was incomprehensible, offering up the exhortation to "pull the strings!" whenever he wasn't rambling on about "puppy dog tails and big fat snails." but the very best part, the very worst part, was a strange dream/fantasy sequence in the middle of the movie, full of scantily clad women in quasibondage, s&m poses and situations. i still don't know what it had to do with ed's need to wear angora. and yes, ed wood is much uglier than johnny depp, and makes a much uglier woman.

sadly, we both fell asleep during night of the ghouls; i think it had too much plot for us.

roasted asparagus

• 24 spears fresh asparagus
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• salt
• pepper
• parmesan cheese - optional

preheat the oven to 425F. snap off and discard the woody ends of the asparagus spears. toss them with the olive oil, making sure they are well covered, then spread them on a baking sheet lined with foil and sprinkle with the salt and pepper. roast for 12-15 minutes, stirring once. sprinkle with cheese, if desired [i usually don't]. serves 2.

as a child, i absolutely detested asparagus. in my 20's i grew to tolerate it. then i discovered roasted asparagus. it surely must be a food of the gods, i could eat it every night and never tire of it. i made it sunday night with halibut, last night with salmon and will probably make it one more time tonight, with stuffed chicken breasts.

i wonder what it would taste like in a breakfast omelet...

contemplating asparagus and angora, claire