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1998 october 23 language skillsi am having one of those days when i doubt my command of the english language. sleep and i are out of sorts lately; in the entire month of october i have not had a good night's rest. i have absolutely no problem falling asleep, i just can't seem to stay asleep. i'm not terribly concerned about it since my sleep cycles have always pedalled to their own beat, but this stretch is beginning to annoy me and take its toll on my day to day functioning. i write better than i speak, more correctly (scary, isn't it), more concisely, more clearly. when i speak, my language is full of slang and clairisms and even the dreaded "you know" and "like," although i am desperately trying to break myself of the latter. even with all these strikes against me, i usually have little problem making myself understood. all that is changing this month. my mind and mouth can handle short words, one syllable words, and usually even those with two. give me more than that, however, and lord knows what is going to spill from my sleepy lips. scissors become cigarettes. hatchery becomes halfway. competition becomes communist. a psychiatrist could have a field day with me. it's like some out of control word association game. on the other hand, some of them are funny and i fully intend to add them to my vocabulary. i was telling gene a story last night and as a time reference i said, "it was while i was on my honeymourn." honeymourn, now there is a word and a half, descriptive of time, place and flavor of the moment. i like adding words to my personal vocabulary. marvinator, as in "i am a...," as in i am starving -- interchangeable with hungarian. retailiation, as in getting revenge upon one's significant other by going shopping with their credit card. if i could get my memory to cooperate, i could list dozens of amusing words, but its not, so i won't, but if you remember a really good one you have heard me use, send it to me so i can write the dictionary of claire one day. gratuitous brag alert: since we are talking about words, i'd like to say a few about the power of seeing one's name in print in a really excellent place. surf on over to amazon.com and do a search on my name*. don't worry, i'll wait... ...back already? pretty cool, huh? i'm famous. i hope all those bitchy cheerleaders from highschool are idly surfing one day and start looking up classmates. success is a dish best thrown in the face of those you hated in adolescence. sleepily and successfully, claire *obviously, this little literary treat will only be of amusement to those of you who know my real name, which should be all of you reading at this early stage.
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