Chapter Four
Times of Change
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Sheepishly Matt walked through the hallway to the end and stood at the door to Kuat�s room. It was just a plain wooden door, complete with the works of any regular door. He pressed his cheek to the door, listening to see if anything was going on, before he finally got up the courage to twist the knob and go inside. Right as Matt entered the room, Kuat came out of his bathroom. Kuat looked at him and jumped slightly, before placing his knuckles on his hips as he began to laugh. His hair was damp from recently showering. Embarrassed and taken very much by surprise, Matt closed his eyes for a few moments. Once he heard Kuat�s laughter, he got up the courage to crack them open and look over at him. �Looking for anything Matt?� Kuat laughed, walking over to his closet to pull out a pair of satin ultramarine-blue boxers. Matt let his gaze wander from the Kuat�s eyes, down past his waist and pelvic area, to his naked feet. Kuat was beautiful. His muscles were so defined and his complexion. His thighs were very strong, but remained beautiful because they retained a very elegant and elongated look from all his ballet training. Matt nervously bit his lip as he tried to suppress the urge to go over toward Kuat. Seeing Kuat nearly made Matthew forget about the fact Maeko had touched him. Thoughts of Kuat�s honey- brown skin and lovely body were instantly piercing through Matt�s foggy thoughts. �How can I help you bud?� Kuat walked over and sat in a chair at his computer desk, folding his hands in his lap. Matt�s jaw quivered as he let his eyes follow Kuat to where he sat in the chair. On impulse Matt�s eyes wandered over Kuat�s waist, over the natural bulge under his boxers. Matt felt himself becoming rather aroused by the images of Kuat. Fearing that Kuat knew he was looking over his body, Matt turned his head and looked down to the side. He could feel his cheeks becoming flustered. They probably glowed a blush pink. �I�I just came to tell you something�� Matt took a deep breath, directing his gaze to the patterns the bumps on the ceiling made. �But Kuat� you stole my attention. Kuat your body is gorgeous�� Matt�s cheeks deepened into a tone of deep scarlet. Pleased, an ear-to-ear grin spread across Kuat�s face. �No no no� first I want to hear your news before you go on about me. I know everything about me .� Kuat played humble and looked into Matt�s eyes, raising an eyebrow playfully. �Now dooo tell.� He finished. �Maeko touched me� he comforted me when I was crying. It felt soooo good. I loved the feeling of his fingertips on my skin�� Matt spoke with a little more confidence as he grew more comfortable speaking with Kuat. �Oh sweety, I�m happy for you! See� Maeko�s more than the big tough monster he pretends to be. I trust you know that as well as I...� Beaming, Kuat jumped out of his chair and wrapped his arms around Matt. �He only touched me because I was crying�� Matt mumbled, his face squashed against Kuat�s bare chest. Kuat tenderly held Matt�s shoulders and pushed him back looking into his eyes. �Matt dear� what were you crying for?� Kuat brushed his fingers under Matt�s chin tenderly to keep their stares connected. �Umm� it�s something I can only tell Maeko�� Matt�s voice began wavering, causing Kuat to pull Matt even closer against him and hold the back of Matt�s head in one of his lovely hands. �You told me something you didn�t tell Maeko� and I kept my promise. Why cant you tell me this?� Kuat walked Matt over to his bed and allowed him to lay on it. Instead of laying down, Kuat kneeled at the bedside and gently ran a his fingers through Matt�s hair. �I�ve been told not to tell anyone though. I only told Maeko� because I�ve known him forever.� Matt closed his eyes, allowing himself to be relaxed by the gentle feel of Kuat�s fingertips on his scalp. He knew that the bulge in his pants was still there and he hoped dearly that Kuat not turn his gaze over the pelvic region of his body. �I�ve known you for as long as you�ve been friends with Maeko� please trust me Matt. I could never hurt you� besides I�m big. I�m seventeen, don�t you want to tell someone who has the wisdom of the ages?� �Are you sure? Kuat, promise not to tell anyone. You just can�t. I�ll get murder�� Began Matt, closing his eyes and arching his neck under the feel of Kuat�s tender lips pressed against his skin. �MURDERED BY WHOM?� Kuat interrupted, Matt twitched in his content position and opened his eyes. �My uncle�. Phil said he�d kill me if I told anyone about how he abused me�� Matt stopped speaking when Kuat crawled onto the bed with him and pulled him into his arms. Matt relaxed in the feel of Kuat�s warm arms. He�d never felt so welcome, and appreciated, as he felt in the Trouillefou home. He was beginning to trust people, whether or not the only people he chose to trust were the Trouillefous. �Abused you sweety� poor thing�� Kuat went to bury his face in the crook of Matt�s neck and in an attempt to brush his cheek against Matt�s neck, Kuat felt the scratch of the tape that held Matt�s rag-bandage on. �Matt? What�s this?� Kuat brushed Matt�s hair away from the bandage, widening his eyes in horror. It was worse than he would�ve expected. A promising young man such as Matt, a victim of such horrible abuse. �Poor thing� is this what Phil did to you? Did he, Matt tell me he didn�t� god please don�t tell me he sexually abused you� did he?� Kuat choked. Matt turned his head to look into Kuat�s beautiful understanding eyes and painfully nodded, his eyes glazing with tears. �He did Kuat�� Matt buried his face into Kuat�s armpit, smelling Kuat�s fragrance, which was a light combination of colognes and various fragrances. �You poor thing� you�re such a sweet person to have to go through that. Matt� you have to let me tell someone. You don�t deserve it� That man could go to prison forever if we went to the police about this�� Kuat pulled Matt even closer into his arms, desperately wanting to do something about the problem at hand. �You can�t tell anyone!� His voice was muffled as he shouted into Kuat�s chest. �Please don�t tell anyone� not yet. I don�t want to get murdered. He said he would make it a point to get out of jail to murder me and then go back in forever if I ever told anyone�� A tear dripped off Matt�s chin onto Kuat�s chest, Kuat sat up enough to kiss the top of Matt�s head. �All right Matt� I won�t tell anyone. But you know� I don�t want this to get any worse you hear? If anything more happens please come here. And if you don�t want us to turn that dirty man in, you can always make our home your home. Our doors are always open to you� we�ll help you if you are ever to fall into times of need.� Matt stopped crying and rested his chin on Kuat�s chest, looking into his eyes. Reassuringly Kuat smiled at him which created a small urge in the pit of his stomach to know what it was like to have Kuat�s lips on his. �Kuat you know what?� Matt asked, a faint sparkle in his eyes to make himself look as if he deserved a kiss. �What Sir Matt?� Kuat smiled, noticing Matt�s morale increase. �I� am beginning to think I need a kiss from you�� Matt blushed a deep red again and turned his face away from Kuat�s, resting one of his cheeks on his chest. When Kuat chuckled, the force of his chest moving bounced Matt�s head up and down. �You really want one dear?� Kuat asked. Matt closed his eyes in excitement then put a fist to his mouth to keep from shouting �YES!� �Mmm� sure�� He nearly whimpered but managed to compose himself as he turned his neck back to look into Kuat�s eyes. Gently Kuat pulled Matt a little closer to him, and planted a warm gentle kiss on Matt�s lips. After the kiss Matt closed his eyes and pulled away, a genuine smile on his face. �You know...� Kuat began, pulling Matt so that he was laying secure in his arms. �Matt� I think if you really take Maeko as your best friend you shouldn�t be worried to tell him about these feelings of yours. Only the Goddess knows how he�s going to react when he does finally find out�� Kuat laid his hand flat on Matt�s back to hold him securely as he nudged his chin over Kuat�s shoulder and laid with his head in the white feather pillows.. �I really would like to tell him� I�m just afraid of how he�ll treat me afterward. I don�t want him to hate me.� �You always find out who your true friends really are when you come clean�� Kuat stated, it had been entirely true in Kuat�s case. Most of his friends had stuck by him when he�d come clean about his sexuality. Thank the gods that his parents were very open minded and supportive of him no matter what. Although, as with everyone who has to come clean in their lifetime, there were the few who were cold to Kuat after hearing the truth. For a few minutes the two laid quietly together on the bed, Matt relaxing in the warm cocoon of Kuat�s strong arms. He�d felt cared for and respected for the first time since the happy days in Nebraska� even though those days could never be replaced. Kuat stopped talking and stared at the ceiling while holding Matt in his arms. As the quiet pressed on, and all Matt heard was Kuat�s gentle breathing and humming next to his ear, Matt drifted off into sleep� and fell into one of his common flashback dreams. Nine years prior, during the balmy Nebraska summer of 1994, Matt had been happy. The day had been warm and sunny like any other summer day in the city of Gothenburg. Until his mother had come in to stir him from his afternoon�s nap. Matt had been four years old, bright eyed and curious about everything in the world. Everything was beautiful, and in need to be discovered. His favorite color had been yellow, and picking the dandelions in the back of the boardinghouse with his mother had been his favorite pastime. �Matt� my dear� its time to wake up.� Meredith, his mother, had said, running her fingers through her sons fuzzy black hair. Matt had turned his eyes up to look into hers. They both had green eyes, and detested asparagus. �Come on sweety� get Snuggles and come down with mommy to the car.� She continued, bending over the side of Matt�s bed to pick up his shoes. As Matt bent his tiny arms up to rub his eyes, Meredith lovingly put his tiny sneakers on his feet. They were decorated with little fighter jets, like the kind most little boys wear. Tears began to well in her eyes. She was giving up her only son. �Where are we going, Merry?� Matt asked, Merry his nickname for his mother. Tears choked Meredith, she only shook her head and grabbed Matt�s hand, he jumped off the bed and walked over to her side and clutched her skirt in his tiny hand. �Merry? Where are we going?� He whined, he couldn�t understand why Meredith wasn�t answering him. Matthew looked up into her eyes that were heavily outlined in black eyeliner that was making black trails down her face from her tears. �Honey don�t ask any questions�� Meredith bent over and grabbed Snuggles, a pale-yellow colored stuffed rabbit, and handed it to Matt. He took it from her and hugged it close to his side. �Snuggles� shh� don�t talk we gotsta be quiet so mom can think. Lets pretend this is an army adventure�� Matt whispered, turning his head to look at the rabbit. Meredith cried more as she glanced at her son again. She felt overwhelmed with guilt for having to take him away. In a quick scoop Meredith pulled Matt up into her arms and kissed his forehead before taking him into the hall and down the stairs to Donnie�s waiting car. Gently she buckled him into the backseat before she opened the passenger door to join Donnie in the front seats. �Hay Meredith� you�re lookin pretty foxy tonight�� Donnie extended his neck to kiss Meredith�s lips, but she sharply pulled away. Matt stared at the two of them puzzled and shook it off in a moment or so. He stared into Snuggles� beady plastic eyes. �The adults are doing� erm� sinful things Snuggles. Best we keep to ourselves...� Matt put his hand up to the side of his mouth whispering, to keep his conversation secret. �HAY MATTY BOY!� Donnie shouted exuberantly, looking at him in the rearview mirror through his brown eyes. The usual grin plastered onto his face. Meredith looked at Donnie with a hurt expression on her face. She was giving up her only son, because of him and his business he got her involved in, and all he could do was crack jokes. �Donnie please be quiet�� She said. �WOMAN YOU SHUT UP!� He yelled, Matt pressed a hand over one of his ears and held Snuggles close to him. �Don�t worry Snuggles, Donnie always does that to momma. He won�t hurt her though�� Matt pressed his eyes shut for a few moments until he was sure the yelling had ceased. After Donnie had told Meredith to shut up, he�d started the car. They drove in silence. Matt had even stopped talking to one of his only friends Snuggles. Most the children in the neighborhood beat him up, Snuggles and his mother were his only friends. Meredith rested her head on her hand and looked at her son via the rearview mirror. He held his rabbit and laid down on the seat, staring off into space blankly. They drove for nearly a half hour, which seemed like forever to Matt. Despite his very young age, Matt didn�t complain. He could sense the high tension that hung heavily in the air. After that long half-hour had passed, Matt sat up rubbing his eyes and examined where they had stopped. It was a small house, but attractively painted a bright white with a jade trim. Donnie sat in the car, back straight, and looked out the window while Meredith exited and opened Matt�s door. �We�re here sweety. Time to go inside, hop on out of the car�� Meredith watched Matt jump out of the car and run to sit on the lawn. He still clutched Snuggles. Careful not to let Matt see, Meredith reached across the backseat and grabbed a small suitcase she�d filled with Matt�s clothing and some of his favorite toys. �Ok Matt, come to the front door with me.� Meredith said, Matt�s eyes widened as he caught sight of the suitcase she carried. �Mommy that�s my suitcase! Why is my suitcase filled up? Am I going on a vacation like Merry Poppins? Do I get to baby-sit little children?� Matt perked up a little bit conjuring up the images of being responsible for little children in his mind. �Not quite� come Matt� to the door.� She said, Matt fell into a sulking step behind her muttering about how he wanted to get to be Merry Poppins. Meredith knocked on the door and stood with her hands on her hips, turning her head to smile in an attempt to reassure Matt. A scruffy man with thick matted black hair answered the door. His eyes were a cold grey, his close simple and moth-eaten. He didn�t smile, his face was devoid of any feeling, and his presence was cold. �Hello Phillip.� Meredith had said. �So this is Matt�� The man muttered. Matt noticed that the man had a stubbly beard. �Sweety this is Phillip�� Meredith had said. �Here�s his suitcase Phillip� he�s all yours now. I trust you have all his papers?� Meredith raised an eyebrow and looked at Phillip. �Yes I do. Don�t worry Meredith� I�ll take good care of him.� Phillip said, looking down at the child. He placed a hand on top of Matt�s head, and was startled at the way the little boy darted away from his touch. Nervously he looked from Phillip to Meredith, his eyes bulging in skepticism. �Mommy? Are you leaving me mommy? No you can�t go�� Matt dropped onto his knees and curled into a ball on the welcome mat of the small house. Meredith kneeled beside him and gently rested her hand on his back. �Please won�t you catch, a shooting star for me� and take it with you on your way�� Meredith began singing her lullaby to Matt, tears dripped off her chin and Phil stared at her through his harsh cold eyes. Even seeing his sister crying over giving up her son didn�t stir any feeling in his cold demented heart. �Though it seems, m�dear, we just met� you�re the one I won�t forget�you- you�re in my heart� and here�� Meredith was nearly finished with the song, but began choking when her brother reached down and pried Matt from the doorstep. This was it, Matt was going to be gone from her until she got the say from Domestic Services that she could have her son back. ��to stay---� Meredith finished the song shakily and kissed Matt�s delicate young forehead. He blinked his eyes. �Mommy has to go away for a little while Matt� only for a little while�� She poked his pink little nose and he swatted her hands playfully. She laughed through the tears that were choking her and looked in Phillips eyes as she finished speaking. �Uncle Phil will take good care of you sweety. Good care, you hear that?� Meredith wrapped her first two fingers around the width of Matt�s small arm and shook him gently. �How long Merry?� He asked, eyes glazing over with tears. �Shhh� don�t worry about it. I�ll come back and get you� Remember my dear. Remember the lullaby, go over the song in your head, it�ll help you fall asleep�� Meredith kissed the top of his head, closing her eyes and breathing in his baby-shampoo smell one more time. Without looking into his eyes, she turned around and walked to the door. Phil held Matt in his arms rigidly, as Matt watched his mother walk away. �MOMMY! Mommy� MOMMY! Don�t go� don�t go I want you to come back�� Screeched Matt. Each time Matt cried out, Phillip�s hold grew tighter and more uncomfortable. �Mommy�� He whimpered, still clutching Snuggles to his side. The car drove away. His mother was gone, and he was left only with the promise that she would be back someday. Phillip brought Matt inside, dropping the tiny suitcase off on a dilapidated moss-colored couch with faded pea-green cushions. Matt didn�t kick, he didn�t cry, he only looked hopelessly over Phil�s shoulder. When Phil was sure that Matt was going to remain calm, he set Matt down onto the prehistoric goldenrod carpeting that stretched throughout the whole house. Matt walked to the center of the cramped living room, where there was a small red rug that was really a bathroom mat. He sat on it and laid down, pausing to look down and make sure that Snuggles was safe in his arms before closing his eyes. Phillip stared the lump of a little boy for a while, evil thoughts buzzing through his head annoying him like the cries of seagulls at the seaside. When he was sure that little Matt had fallen asleep, he walked over to the silent lump and rolled Matt over, tracing his finger over the lines of his face. After sitting by Matt for about fifteen minutes, not saying anything, Phillip stood up and walked out of the room. He forgot about Matt for the rest of the day, leaving the four-year old to explore the house all on his lonesome. That day, and for the remainder of his first week at Phil�s, Matt endured no abuse. However, by the week�s end (on Sunday), Matt wasn�t so lucky. It was on that Sunday that the abuse started. Matt was trapped without a friend in the world with an abusive uncle. Soon the dreaming of his memories began to become painful, and he Matt whimpered in his slip. �Sweety� it�s 7:30. I suppose we fell asleep. Matt, you were whimpering� in your sleep.� Kuat�s voice pierced Matt�s pained thoughts, causing him to wake up. Matt stretched, still laying in Kuat�s arms, and looked into Kuat�s inquisitive eyes. �I was� having a dream. I the same one repeatedly� I never knew I whimpered in my sleep. But Kuat, you must understand I can�t control my mind once my eyes are shut.� Matt mumbled as Kuat slid out from under him and walked over to pull on a white button-up shirt he�d left hanging on the back of the chair at his desk. �Do you want to tell me what it was about?� Kuat asked, buttoning up the white shirt. Matt almost waved goodbye to the gorgeous muscles of Kuat�s torso as they disappeared under the folds of his white t-shirt. �No� not yet anyway. I don�t like it, my dream that is. I probably wouldn�t think of the things voluntarily�� Replied Matt, brushing his fingers backward through his hair. While listening to Matt, Kuat pulled a pair of black jeans out of his wooden dresser and slid them onto his long legs. �Oh, understood Matt. Would you like a ride home?� Asked Kuat, heading toward his closet to grab a blue sweater. �If its not a hassle, that would be nice. Thank-you Kuat.� Matt looked down to the side nervously as Kuat brushed past his shoulder and stood in the doorway of his room waiting for him. �Don�t worry Matt, I wouldn�t drive ya home if it was any sort of a hassle to me. You�re my favorite friend of Maeko�s.� Kuat laughed and walked with Matt through the house until they reached his car. For the third time that weekend, Matt climbed inside. During the ride home, Kuat and Matt shared limited conversation. Matt began to tremble as they neared his trailer house. Of course, the time away from Phil always ended too soon. Matt looked sadly into Kuat�s eyes before he hopped out of the car walked to the middle of the cement driveway in front of the run down trailer house that he was forced to call his home. �Good-bye Matt� and remember our home is always your home. You can always talk to me. I have ears, I�ll listen. Don�t you forget that Maeko�s birthday is coming up� October 31st as every year. It�ll be special, don�t forget to come�� Matt nodded at Kuat�s words, too preoccupied with the thought of facing his uncle after having left and not returned on Saturday night. He tiptoed through the front door, seeing the same moss-green couch he�d seen since the first day he�d known Phillip. Matt breathed a heavy sigh of relief when he saw Phillip nowhere in sight. As quietly as possible, Matt crept into the kitchen to scavenge for what food Phillip may have left. Only seven-hours had passed since he�d last eaten with the Trouillefous, but it felt like it had been an eternity. Inside the refrigerator was a near-empty looking package of hotdogs, and a 2-liter of Sprite. He squinted in disgust at the single molding hot dog left in the package. Disappointed, he turned around, rubbing his temples remembering he still had the task of facing Phil. He looked up, and blinked when he found himself looking straight in the cold-grey gaze he wished he could ignore. Philip sat at the tiny kitchen table, a half-eaten TV dinner sitting in front of him. Matt hadn�t one bit of time to prepare to see those eyes. As the years had passed, Phillip looked the same except for the grey streaks that had cut through his dark brown hair. Limited lines had formed around the corners of his eyes. He still dressed in the same woolen-sweaters and drab brown pants. �Why so late Matthew?� He asked in a husky voice, furry dark eyebrows arching downward. Matt gulped and didn�t move his eyes from Phil�s. Usually Phil acted more severely when he showed signs of fear. �I� I was at Maeko�s house.� Matt responded. Phillip bit his lip in agitation, pushing his chair away from the table and standing. When standing to his full height, Phillip was only a few inches taller than Matthew. He walked over to Matt and circled around him, inspecting him as the skin of his face began to glisten with sweat. �Did I say you could go out?� He stopped in front of Matt and placed his hand on Matt�s shoulder. Tears welled in Matt�s eyes when Phillip harshly dug the nails of his fingers into his shoulder. He squeezed harder when Matt didn�t answer. �No� no you did not. I thought- you wouldn�t care. I cleaned up all the blood�� Matt sniffed nervously. He couldn�t let Phil see him cry. That was what Phillip wanted, and Matt didn�t want to give him the luxury. �I see�� Phillip brushed Matt�s hair behind his neck and inspected the area where he�d torn Matt up the preceding night. When he saw the bandage, he immediately grew angry. His paranoia caused him to jump to the conclusion Matt had reported his actions to a caring human being. �MATT DAMN YOU! YOU FRIGGIN KNOTHEAD! YOU TOLD� YOU TOLD! I can�t BELIEVE YOU! You dirty, rotten, little SNITCH! I could just murder youuu!� Hollered Phil as he grabbed both of Matt�s shoulders and slammed him against the refrigerator. A box of cheeri-Os toppled down from the top of the old musty looking Frigidaire and hit Matt�s head before it reached its final destination: the ground. �I didn�t tell�� Squeaked Matt as he brought his wrists up to his face to cover it defensively. Phillip�s grip was very tight and increased with every frightened gasping breath that Matt took. �Get into the bedroom NOW!� Shouted Phil, undoing his belt as he chased Matt into the back room while cracking the belt in his strong construction worker hands. Matt did as he was told, and scrambled down the short hallway into Phillips bedroom. He threw himself onto the bed and buried his face in the safety of his bent arms. Phillip reached the bedroom shortly after Matt. He stood, chest heaving in crazed anger behind Matt; the belt still in his hands. Upon feeling Phillips presence in the room Matt�s body helplessly began to tremble. There were a good many things that could happen when Phil was on an anger trip. Before Matt could move out of the way, Phillip had pulled up his shirt and cracked the brown leather belt over his back. Matt wailed as the belt left a single red blazing band across his back. He felt as if he was a cow at the pasture being branded by his master, although his pain was never-ending. He�d never be taken from the pasture as the cow in the field to be turned into ground-beef; he was going to live through horror until his eighteenth birthday when he would be free. �There�s your warning Matt. If you EVER EVER show any signs of telling anyone about this AGAIN just remember you�ll get the rest of it... and I trust you know what that is.� Phillip belted the back side of his hand across Matt�s side before sitting on his bed and arching his back to crack it. After yelping, Matt hung his head and fled the room. Clumsily he stumbled when he went through Phil�s door and across the short bit of hallway to his small room. �IS IT CLEAR, MATTHEW?� He yelled from his position on the bed. Matt slammed his bedroom door behind him, face contorted into an abominable expression from the stinging band of pain on his back. His jaw quivered a few times, but he soon recovered enough to shout an affirmation to Phil�s bellowing. Matt�s room was pathetically simple. There was a closet in the corner, with dark clothes laying in piles around its entrance. Matt had a simple mattress on the floor, with a flashlight for his bedside lamp and a naked light bulb hanging from the ceiling to be his overhead light. On the wall by his door, was it�s switch that was without the luxury of a switch cover. Matt flicked on the switch that stuck out of the wall among a few exposed cords of various colors. At the foot of his mattress was a simple book case with books about the civil war on its shelves with a few knickknacks scattered betwixt them. Resting on the top bookshelf was a framed picture of Matt and Maeko back at sixth grade outdoor school. In the middle of his unmade mattress, was the famous Snuggles. Besides the few dirt spots that had formed on his head and body, Snuggles still looked the same. Matt stared at the little yellow rabbit that he�d slept with every night from the day he�d been taken home from the hospital as a baby. Snuggles� eyes were still the same beady little lumps of plastic sewn into the cloth of his face. Tears formed in Matt�s eyes, his memories fresh in his mind after the dream. His mother never had come back to get him, not yet. Matt wasn�t about to stop dreaming of how wonderful it was going to be when Merry would come back and save him from Phillip. Snuggles was the only thing that Matt had which he really connected to his mother. Phillip had given all Matt�s other toys away, consequently Snuggles was very special to him because it was the only thing left Matt had that his mother had given him. Slowly Matt eased himself down onto his mattress, feeling pain shoot across the painful crimson band on his back that had been left by the belt. He reached out and dragged Snuggles toward where he laid amongst the unmade covers. Too sore, depressed, and lazy to change into pajamas or turn off the light; Matt curled up with Snuggles and tried to find sleep. As the hours passed, Matt couldn�t bring himself to fall asleep. His thoughts were haunting him. Thoughts about Maeko and Kuat pestered him as he laid curled up in a ball on his bed clutching his rabbit into his chest. It had been so natural to kiss Kuat, and Kuat was a man. He sighed, thinking of how much he would enjoy just one kiss from Maeko. One kiss from Maeko and he would never have any reason to complain ever again. When Matt felt as if his head were going to burst from thoughts, he slowly began to hum his mother�s lullaby to himself, repeating the unchanging lyrics to himself. As always, the lullaby delivered him straight into the world of his dreams. *** �Maaa---eko its time to wake-up.� Kuat rapped on Maeko�s door, pushing it open and entering Maeko�s disaster-area of a room. �Verrry nice bro.� He laughed, looking around on the floor at all Maeko�s clothing scattered about. �Grrrrmmm�� Maeko grumbled, pulling his covers over his head. Kuat walked carefully around all Maeko�s clothes to his bedside and pulled the cover down to reveal Maeko�s face. The first thing Kuat noticed was Maeko�s glaring eyes staring up into his. �Dad says if you come downstairs and make him breakfast that he won�t be angry anymore.� Kuat laughed and walked into the middle of Maeko�s room, where there was an island of clear floor. �Tell him to go jump off the burning cliff�� Maeko mumbled, sitting up on his bed and rubbing his eyes. �Now Maeko that�s not nice� he�s willing to forgive you I think you should give your pa a chance.� Kuat looked at Maeko sternly before breaking out in laughter at Maeko�s fuzzy hair. �Its so funny how two people who look so much alike� and who in the past were such good friends, are nearly always on each other�s backs about something�� Kuat laughed some more. It was the truth. Maeko and Samren had been the best of friends ever since the day Maeko was born. They�d stayed best friends until the year that Samren went on a worldwide tour with his band. Things were peaceful up until about a month after Samren got back and he and Maeko began to notice their differences. Their relationship deteriorated from there, because they�d grown so estranged from each other they couldn�t repair their differences. Samren, a grown man, could easily put the fight behind him and move on. Maeko was his son and Samren loved all his children more than anything. Things with Maeko were different. Maeko was only an immature child who didn�t know how to place things behind him. Things had only gotten worse when in the previous year Maeko had started doing drugs when he hung out with Jon and Kent. Luckily he got past the drugs, moved to a new school, and began to start talking to his father again. Their relationship was still choppy, but Maeko and Samren were slowly repairing things to normal. �It�s his fault.� Maeko retorted, glaring at Kuat. �Well� I think you should take up this chance Maeko. It�ll get you off your grounding. He was only kidding about breakfast� dad said he�ll let you off if you go and talk to him.� Kuat smiled as he stared into Maeko�s glaring eyes. Maeko rolled his eyes before he looked over at his digital clock. There was but one hour left to get ready for school. Maeko furrowed his eyebrows and looked angrily at Kuat. �Will you please GET OUT so I can get dressed� I�d rather you not be in here.� He grumbled. Kuat looked at him sadly before walking out of the room. Kuat continued downstairs until he reached the kitchen. His mother, Maraea, was cooking breakfast and his sister sat looking inquisitively at her father telling a story. Other than being a first-class musician, Samren Trouillefou was also a master storyteller. �Dad what happens next?� Jenevive asked, here childlike eyes widening. Usually Jenevive acted in a very mature fashion for her tender age, twelve, but her father�s stories always brought out the child in her. �Jen that all depends� what story is he telling you?� Kuat made his entrance into the discussion and sat at the table, folding his hands on top of it and turning his eyes into his sisters. Her eyes were a very unusual color, nobody in the family had eyes like Jenevive. Rather than the deep brown tone of her father�s eyes, or even the emerald green of her mother that Kuat had been gifted with, Jenevive�s eyes sparkled in an iridescent pale blue-green. Her face was formed much like her mother�s and her hair was shiny black. �He�s telling me the tale of the Oiseau-b�te de Chassieu.� She beamed as she recited the title of her father�s tale brilliantly in French. �OH� the silly bird of Chassieu�� Kuat laughed, and looked to his father. �Chere monsieur Trouillefou� I believe that is a dirty story. Isn�t that the story of the two Roma who fell in love? They played mad tricks on all the pedestrians in the cities in the areas between Chassieu and Lyon� except it all ended in tears, wasn�t Beti the oiseau-bete de Chassieu? Silly bird�� Kuat snickered to himself, remembering the details of the story. He�d heard all of Samren�s tales numerous times, probably enough to be able to go on and tell more people the stories. Samren professed all his stories to be based on fact� but it was evident that he enjoyed placing high quantities of hyperbole in them. �SHHH!� Samren banged a fist on the table causing Jenevive, Maraea, and Kuat to start laughing. �Now�� Samren cleared his throat, smiling and looking into his wife�s eyes, before turning his eyes to continue telling the story to Jenevive. �AS I was saying� Beti was completely enamored with the beautiful Karpak. Every note that whined from his violin set Beti�s heart aflame. With each passing day Karpak began to feel the same for his dearest Beti�� �So they fall in love? Father please not another one of these�� Jenevive placed her chin in her palm and looked to the ceiling, releasing a disappointed sigh. Just as Samren put his hand on Jenevive�s shoulder to reassure her it wasn�t just another love story, Maeko walked into the kitchen. Kuat turned and looked over at his shoulder at Maeko. He�d dressed, and dragging at his feet was his olive green backpack that he�d drawn and written all over in permanent black marker. Samren stared at him, surprised that Maeko had complied to his offer. Although the previous night�s battle was not the worst they�d experienced, Samren thought Maeko would stay angry for a lot longer. Maraea turned from her cooking and looked at her son, placing a hand on her pregnant stomach. Maeko had spiked his hair as usual, although the tips of his spikes were a sea green rather than the normal iced blue. As if he were a person who possessed great power, Maeko walked over and joined his family at the table. Shaking her head, Maraea returned to the eggs that simmered on the stove. �Maeko� you�re down here early. Just in time for the oiseau-bete de Chasseiu story�� Samren said, locking his eyes on his son. Maeko looked to him impetuously, placing a tiny amount of anger in the pit of Samren�s stomach. �I don�t want to hear your story�� Maeko crossed his arms across his chest, looking away from his father. He hardened his gaze when Kuat reached over and slid a finger up one of his spikes. �DON�T TOUCH ME!� He sputtered, looking over at Kuat who had dawned a startled expression. �Maeko� don�t you speak like that. I only wanted to know what you used on your hair today. It smells good�� Maeko smirked, his arms still folded across his chest. �I used your toothpaste. There, I told you, happy?� Maeko squinted his eyes and put on a highly artificial smile, looking like a four year old. �Again� you used my toothpaste again�� Kuat muttered off and looked toward Samren. �Go ahead and finish the story father. I have nothing further to say to my four-year old brother.� Maeko glared at having been called a four year old. Slowly guilt began to fall over Maeko again, and he softened his gaze. Like a little puppy dog wanting its owner to forgive it for piddling on the carpet, Maeko looked across the table into his father�s eyes. He would�ve looked a little more innocent if he wasn�t wearing his heavy black eyeliner streaked halfway down his face, but a humble look from Maeko was so rare that it didn�t matter what he was wearing. �Dad I�m sorry. I�ll listen to your bird story again. I�m also sorry about the other night.� Maeko unfolded his arms and sat back when his mother brought a plate with eggs and a croissant on it to Samren and placed it by his morning coffee. Samren still couldn�t get over the French breakfasts he�d been raised on� which usually consisted of some sort of pastry and an egg if he was lucky. Coffee topped the small breakfasts off nicely. �All right� everyone�s here� none of you have to use the restroom do you?� Samren grazed his eyes over every soul sitting at the table. They shook their heads negatively. �No we don�t, and please dooo go on my dear father.� Jenevive said, looking up to her mother, expressing her thanks to her mother when she dropped her breakfast off in front of her. Maraea smiled warmly and messed up Jenevive�s hair with one of her smooth, ring-covered hands. �All right� no little party poopers headed for the bathroom� everyone is here�� Samren laughed as he took a bite of one of his poached eggs and swallowed before continuing his story. Maeko stared at his father, eyes glazing as his thoughts wandered. �Beti began to grow angry when her Karpak did not take advantage of his feelings. She didn�t know how to cope with her anger. All Beti saw was the violinist Karpak. Even successfully playing tricks on people couldn�t make Beti happy when she didn�t have Karpak as her own. When Karpak refused her love, because of his own insecurities, Beti responded by taking up hold in the tower of the Chassieu church and shut out the whole outside. Now� Beti never descended from the tower. Eventually her skin lost its glow and the sparkles left her eyes. However, the only thing that did not leave Beti was her voice.� Samren paused to catch his breath after speaking. Jenevive had regained interest, Maeko sat in his same position, and Kuat eagerly waited for Samren to reveal the rest of the story he already knew. �Beti remained in the churchtower until finally one day a beautiful cloaked sorceress climbed the steps of her tower. Beti did not know the raven-haired woman was a sorceress, although she should�ve. The sorceress had heard of Beti from Karpak, because whether or not Beti knew� Karpak still cared. In desperation he sought out the sorceress for help. He wanted his dear Beti back. He longed to hear the soaring notes Beti sung to once again accompany the rich sound of his violin on the streets. He often called her le oiseau, the bird, because of her extraordinary singing talent�� Samren stopped speaking and took a gulp of his coffee. �No� father� the sorceress, is she good or bad?� Jenevive�s thin black eyebrows arched and her face paled. She was so into the story. Samren chuckled at his daughter as he began to finish his story. �The sorceress presented herself to the beautiful young Beti as a wealthy gypsy woman who had recently experienced leaving her love, almost exactly as Beti�s story sounded. Day by day the sorceress studied Beti as she walked around the tower and go over to sing at the window as the sun glittered its evening goodbyes. Beti sung of her life, and her love. It was then the sorceress realized how she could return the silly girl, fille-bete, to the Karpak that adored her�� Purposefully, Samren trailed off. He knew just where to leave his children hanging in stories, so that he could provoke emotion from them. �Oh father this is torture!� Jenevive cried, �What did the sorceress do to the beautiful Beti?� Jenevive placed her chin in the space between the top sides of her hands and stared at Samren through wide eyes. �The sorceress decided that if Beti wanted to act with the silliness of the bird, she was more than welcome. In horror Beti watched the train of her dark blue dress melting into a sea of green, that had been her ornately woven diklo, and forming into feathers. Beti began to shrink, tail feathers sprouting out of her back as her fine nose conjoined with her mouth and formed a sharp beak. By the time the transformation was complete, Beti was a peacock. In horror she squawked. With every squawk of contempt that Beti directed toward the sorceress, the uglier her call became. She couldn�t believe her lovely song was gone� Beti�s song was now more like the sound of a cat in heat.� �Beti? She�s a peacock now? Is that where the peacock came from? But father, only the male peacocks are gifted with beautiful feathers�� Jenevive was quieted by Kuat. A grin was plastered across his face. �Shh� Jenevive this is the best part�� He added, looking toward his father intently to hear the rest of the story. �With the peacock Beti in tow, the sorceress returned to Karpak. When Karpak saw the bird, and not his lovely Beti, he protested. Angry at Karpak�s ungratefulness, the sorceress cast a charm over the peacock, changing the set-up of peacocks so that females were drab brown and the males were blessed with the beautiful bouquets of feathers. For the rest of his life, Karpak wondered why Beti was the only female peacock that had the lovely iridescent feathers. Secret was, Beti wasn�t a female. Karpak spent the rest of his life with his oiseau-b�te, thinking of his bird he loved as a female. Rather, Beti had been turned into a B�te� amazingly similar to her new name. �L?Oiseau B�te-de Chassieu.� Beti�s silliness and na�vet� were surely what did her in to becoming a bird for the rest of her life and ruining things for all female peacocks�� Samren stood from his place at the table and bowed after finishing the tale. �So� Karpak never knew that he chased a bird boy around for the rest of his life?� J�n�vive laughed, eyes sparkling. Kuat looked at her and grinned before looking at his father yet again. �You left the dirty part out� I�m disappointed in you.� Kuat laughed softly and looked over at the kitchen clock. His face darkened when he realized that the time to leave to school was quickly approaching. �Maeko are you ready for school?� He asked, looking over at Maeko who now sat with his head down and his forehead resting on the edge of the table. Sleepily he raised his face and blinked his eyes. �No- but I don�t have a choice do I?� Maeko placed his palms on the table and used it to support him when he stood up. �Well� I suppose that is true too. I guess what I mean is that it is time to go. If you want a ride than you can hop in my car.� Kuat gave Maeko a pat on the back as he walked past. Maeko glared upon feeling his brother�s hand upon his back, but shrugged it off and got into the car clutching his tattered backpack. The drive to school was short, and before long Maeko saw the familiar shape of his school that everyone called the shitbox. Portland Municipal definitely wasn�t the most aesthetically pleasing school in the world. There were few windows and the school had been painted so that it looked like two brown shoeboxes stacked next to each other. Kuat stretched in the fresh morning sun after he�d stepped into the school parking lot in which there were plenty of trees planted. It was about the only good thing about the school. �Another great day isn�t it?� He asked, turning to look at Maeko who was already running off. �See ya Kuat�� Maeko shouted, already halfway toward the school entrance. Disappointedly Kuat watched him. �You�re supposed to respect your upperclassmen Mickey. Even your own BROTHER� I can�t even get a thank-you out of you�� He shouted, mumbling off towards the end. In his disappointment he grabbed his backpack and slid it on, heading toward a different entrance than the one Maeko was headed for. �Do I look like I give a damn about my upperclassmen or you�� Maeko muttered to himself as he slowed his run to a walk. Maeko couldn�t spot any of his friends but Kent. All over the school were signs marked with �SHOW THE PRIDE OF THE CRIMSON TIDE!� and �SUPPORT YOUR SCHOOL SPORTS TEAMS NOW!!!� Maeko laughed halfheartedly and walked over to stand in front of the sitting Kent. �Make-out� its you.� Kent said sarcastically, looking up into Maeko�s eyes through his hollow ones. Kent looked very old for being the same age as Kuat. �Woops Kent- buddy ol pal� you got my name wrong again.� Maeko said back in a voice that was nearly as intimidating as Kent�s. �Fuck you. Did you do that science homework over the weekend?� Kent stood up to his full height before bending over and rummaging through a cloth bag for his science assignment. After finding it, he laughed victoriously and shoved it into Maeko�s palm. �No fuck-you Kent�� Maeko said, squinting as he looked over the worksheet. �Mr. Robinson wanted this by today?� Maeko looked into Kent�s eyes. Kent shrugged and heaved his bag over his shoulder. �I don�t know. Why are you being such a prick, are you still sore about me kicking the ass of your pansy-pants brother?� He jabbed Maeko�s collarbone with his fingers and stood glaring silently at Maeko, waiting for an answer. �I don�t have time to be sore about anything that has to do with Kuat. The only thing is I really wish that you wouldn�t do stupid shit to him like that. He didn�t do anything to you. Oh and one other thing� don�t beat up on Matt. If you want someone to beat up you can always take me.� Maeko felt himself caring for his brother and his friend. It was strange to care for his brother, but Maeko felt natural caring for Matt after Matt told him about what he had to go through at his house. Maeko was always having to save Matt from the football players anyway. �You wanna make that a bet you little shit? Let me remind you that I�m seventeen�� Kent grabbed Maeko�s sleeve when Maeko was attempting to migrate in the front door of the school. �I could take you any day.� Maeko stared into Kent�s eyes rigidly, causing Kent to loosen his grip on his jacket. �It�s easy to take down a pot smoker� I can take Ronnie on pretty much by myself I could easily take you all the way down.� Maeko thrust his chest out confidently and looked as menacing as possible toward Kent. There was a possibility that Kent was stronger than him but Maeko figured if he looked angry enough Kent would bug off as usual. �Well if that isn�t just the finest howdy do. Get out of my sight Maeko before I bring you down right here.� Kent pushed Maeko as hard as he could, causing Maeko to stumble a few steps over but luckily Maeko regained his balance and kept his gaze firm. �Well, later Kent.� Maeko strolled in through the doors and looked over the science worksheet. It was easy, he couldn�t believe Kent could have any sort of trouble with it. Kent was supposed to be a Senior but he was in Maeko�s science class. It went to show how much could be expected of Kent Ryerson, which was very little. None of Maeko�s friends were inside either. Near a pillar on the ground sat Kuat, back against it as he looked into Nowell�s eyes. Rolling his eyes, Maeko ran over to where they sat and climbed onto one of the large cement benches. �Kuat have you seen any of my friends?� He asked. Nonchalantly Kuat turned around and looked over Maeko�s shoulder and walking through the front door he saw Matt. �You might want to look right behind you�� Kuat laughed and walked over to Nowell and wrapped his arms around his waist while looking into Nowell�s eyes without a care in the world. �Silly silly brother took me away from you� sorry sweety...� �It�s ok my dear� what would I do without you? And those eyes� those eyes of yours are my emeralds.� Nowell leaned up to kiss Kuat on the lips, and Kuat slid a hand down his side and rested it just above his hip. �I�m glad they are worth something to you�� Kuat raised a hand to pull the glasses out of his shirt pocket and put them on. �Because they are worthless to me.� Nowell shook his head and laughed, watching Maeko join his friend at the doorway. Just as Kuat leaned over to kiss Nowell�s neck, the bell rang. �Parting brings such sweet sorrow Nowell...� Kuat grabbed his binder and math book off the bench Maeko had previously been sitting on. �Oh come on Mr. Romance...� Nowell began, sliding his fingers into Kuat�s golden brown hair and messing it up a little, �You�ll see me by third period anyway� you know it�s PE.� Nowell winked and strutted off toward his drama class. Heavily Kuat sighed and started on his own way to his first period math class with Mr. Noskralc.
