| BACK TO HOMPAGE PAGE 2 Q: How many Dianics does it take to change a light bulb? A: 13 -- One to change the light bulb, one to prepare the environmental impact statement, and the rest to do a self-criticism afterwards... Q: How many Druids does it take to change a light bulb? A: 14, (13 if you're Irish) Q: How many Isians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three. One to change the light bulb, one to handle publicity, and one to write the newsletter. Q: How many Family traditionalists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Candle light was good enough for our ancestors, it's good enough for us! Q: How many British Traditional WItches does it take to change a light bulb? A: Thirteen. One to change the bulb, and 12 to mourn the passing of the old bulb. Q: How many Gardnerian witches does it take to change a light bulb? A: It's a "third degree" secret. Q: How many Alexandrian witches does it take to change a light bulb? A: "Lets go see how the Gardnerians do it!" Q: How many Starhawk Witches does it take to change a light bulb? A: (screaming) "There are starving villages in Africa that don't even HAVE light bulbs..." Q: How many solitary Witches does it take to change a light bulb? A: (if they actually ask 'how many?', drum your fingers and stare at them as you wait for them to grasp the obvious) Q: How many White Light Wiccans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Look deep within and find your true essence. That will tell you how many it will take. Q: How many Frost "School of Wicca" Witches does it take to change a light bulb? A: "Just you! That's right, YOU! And for only 3 easy payments of $19.95 we'll send you our complete "Witches Magic Power of Light Bulb Changing Course" with real knowledge that you can apply this to ANY light bulb ANYWHERE ANYTIME! Listen to the testimony of a young couple from Wisconsin who......" Q: How many Erisians does it take to change a light bulb? A: "How many of them are there?" Q: How many Wiccan Witches does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Four. One for each quarter. Q: How many members of IOT does it take to screw in a leigh? A: Sorry, that ritual is copyrighted. Q: How many Proteans does it take to change a light bulb? A: I can't tell you--they never change a light bulb the same way twice! Q: How many Buckland Witches does it take to change a light bulb? A: "Refer to my second book, "Practical Light Bulb Changing" by Raymond Buckland..." Q: How many Pagan Witches does it take to change a light bulb? A: Six. One to change it, and five to sit around complaining that light bulbs never burned out before those damned Christians came along... Q: How many Witches does it take to change a light bulb? A: What do you want it changed into? Q: How many Golden Dawners does it take to change a light bulb? A: One to hold the ladder, one to hold the bulb, three to decipher the Light Bulb Ritual from the Secret Chiefs, one to publish it, and one to sue all the others. Q: How many NRDers does it take to change a light bulb? A: 14. One to do it, one to write poetry about it, and 12 to hold a Council and decide whether or not the poem's authentic. Q: How many Ceremonial magicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: One. They hold it up, and the world revolves around them. Q: How many Kabbalists does it take to change a light bulb? A: 261. Q: How many New Agers does it take to change a light bulb? A: (in a flaky voice) We don't use light bulbs, we just think happy thoughts at our quartz crystals and they glow. Q: How many Boulderites (as in Boulder, CO, mecca of new agers) does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. They just join self-help groups to learn to live with darkness in their lives. Q: How many Odinists does it take to change a light bulb? A: 21, one to hold the light bulb, 20 to drink till the world spins. Astrology: Q: How many Aries does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but it takes a hell of a lot of light bulbs. Q: How many Taurus does it take to change a light bulb? A: What, me move? Q: How many Gemini does it take to change a light bulb? A: Thats a lovely question. Let me see if I can answer that. Q: How many Cancer does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but he has to bring his mother. Q: How many Leos does it take to change a light bulb? A: A dozen. One to change the bulb, and eleven to applaud. Q: How many Virgos does it take to change a light bulb? A: 5 - One to clean out the socket, one to dust the bulb, one to install, and two engineers to check the work. Q: How many Libras does it take to change a light bulb? A: Libras can't decide if the bulb needs to be changed. Q: How many Scorpios does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. They LIKE the dark. Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a light bulb? A: One to install the bulb, and a Virgo to pick up the pieces. Q: How many Capricorns does it take to change a light bulb? A: The light's fine as it is. Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Have you asked the bulb if it WANTS to be changed? Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a light bulb? A: What light bulb? Q: How many astrologers does it take to change a light bulb? A: "Don't ask me now, Mercury's retrograde!" |